The stars held a certain fascination for Julian on this night. This wasn't something unusual, for he often admired him. But there was something about this particular evening and these particular stars that captivated him in a manner that anything seldom could. Those stars always tried their damndest to be consistent and were more successful in such an endeavor than any person Julian had known.
No, that wasn't true. There had been one. However, perhaps, fittingly, she too had joined the stars in the night sky. And like she had so many times in life, she now caught the young doctor in that ever-so-familiar limbo between fantasy and reality. And as before, Julian wasn't sure which of the two he preferred. For this reason, perhaps the limbo was more of a purgatory for his troubled mind.
He'd thought he'd moved on, but one never truly moves on after the institution of love has been ravaged and rebuked as it had been in this instance. Perhaps he was the one who had betrayed love, though, as he had sinned with his silence, never spoke with his heart, but rather with the mechanical obsurdity of logic and reason. Julian had had his opportunities, a long and clear window of opportunity. Instead, he'd selfishly chosen to dismember these feelings whenever possible. He'd spent almost five years of his life in a pitiful, putrid denial.
And in the end, all he had left to deny was a gravestone, the product of his blatant disrespect for what could have been embraced a cherished gift. All he had left now were memories of what could have been and a sorrow that reverberated through him, through time, through the hearts of all men that have thrown away the most precious opportunity of all.
Most, though, sacrifice themselves to the bitterness of an unfeeling demeanor at such a loss. This is where the young doctor defied the laws of unending mourning, however, for never was he willing to give himself up to such hatred. There were people that needed him and as long as this was so, he would continue.
"Is he always like this?" Ezri asked, seated at the bar.
"Leave him be. He has a lot on his heart," Miles replied softly.
But a love like this never truly fades from existence. The
bond is too strong to be broken by death. Julian knew this, placid
in the implications of forever.