Title: Number 234: Gave "Mushroom" Collins His Nickname
Author: Mike Pulgoni, Prince of Wales
Disclaimer: You know the drill.Rating: T
Ever since I got to prison, I'd been doing a lot of thinking. Prison was a good place for thinking, but while most guys were thinking "I wish I wasn't in prison" or "why are these two big guys beating me with bars of soap," I was thinking about Karma.
See, ever since I'd helped Glen, I started thinking that there were probably more people on my List right here and, while I'd hoped to help them from behind six inches of bulletproof glass, Karma had made her thoughts on the subject more than clear.
Which is why I was currently asking around for Mushroom Collins.
"Ever since Earl got to prison, I've been doing a lot of thinking," Randy announced.
Joy and Crab Man seemed have their doubts, but Catalina was all for it. "That's great, Randy!"
"Yeah," he agreed.
It was then that she realized that Randy was ready to leave it at that. "Um, what were you thinking about, Randy?"
Joy didn't say anything, but her eyes had plenty to say.
"Oh," Randy squinted, which meant he was doing some serious thinking. "Well, mostly I was thinking 'my backpack's got jets, I'm Boba the Fett, I bounty-hunt for Jabba Hutt to finance my 'vette…'" Strangely, Crab Man was the only impressed by Randy's rapping skills. It made him realize how much he needed me around. "But then that show Prison Break came on and I started thinking…
Everyone looked at Randy.
"'…I should really tape that show so Earl can watch it when he gets out of prison."
"He's not going to want to watch a show about prisons when he gets out of prison, Dummie!" Joy sneered.
"Oh," Randy replied. "Then maybe we should break him out."
I didn't have a lot of faith in Randy's breaking me out. When Randy planned big, he tended not to think things out, especially when he'd been watching the Fox network.
Like the time he decided to stay up for 24 hours, to enjoy all the non-stop action he was sure would take place.
I didn't much like dealing with a Randy that hadn't had his regular nap every four hours, but the people at the library and the children's center had even more trouble with it.
Still, the time and money spent on repairs were nothing compared to what I had to do for my Dad after Randy watched the X-Files marathon.
Anyway, I was in here for a reason, and right now that reason was finding Mushroom.
And all I had to do was wait in the showers until I saw a guy wearing swim trunks.