Ever since Kuchiki called his bells a stupid idea, Zaraki had been stalking the other man. To his credit, Kuchiki didn't let his guard down. The noble always seemed to know when he wasn't alone. But he had to fall asleep sometime.
After a particularly difficult mission, Byakuya went home and collapsed in his bed, seemingly not worried about locking the door. Zaraki figured the man counted on his servants to tend to little matters like that. It made his task a bit easier.
Taking care for once to mute his reiatsu, Zaraki slipped into Kuchiki's bedroom and smirked, eyeing the sleeping Captain. There were a lot of things he could do, but he had one goal to take care of first. He locked the door behind himself; no need for interruptions.
Kenpachi pulled the cuffs out from where they were hanging on his hakama. He figured Kuchiki was a light sleeper. Quickly and quietly he slid them around Kuchiki's bed post and snapped them closed around the noble's wrists. Kuchiki stirred, but didn't wake up.
Feeling confident and relaxed now, Zaraki opened up the small bag he'd brought with him and pulled out several bells and the toughest-holding hair gel he had been able to find. According to the blob freak of the 12th, this stuff was reinforced with reiatsu and would take hours to work out of the hair in the worst rainstorm. The blob freak clearly thought the gel was for Zaraki, with the way he reassured the Captain. Kenpachi figured he'd leave the bottle, with its 12th division logo, right where Kuchiki could see it. Could prove to be entertaining.
Zaraki gently gathered Byakuya's loose hair. Gently for Zaraki, that is. It involved several hairs being pulled out. Kuchiki's eyes snapped open, and he went to reach for Sebonzakura, only to find himself restrained.
"Explain yourself, now." Kuchiki wasn't looking at Zaraki. Zaraki followed the noble's gaze to Sebonzakura, resting on the dresser. The Zanpakutou was far enough away that it was no threat, which was a bit disappointing. Luckily, there'd be plenty of time to fight later.
"Makin' you look pretty." Zaraki snickered. "You're always accessorizing your outfits. I figured you'd like some help."
"Release me. I can do far better than you. I also do not pull my hair out, like some uncultured dog."
"Dog? Nah, Komamura does pretty good with his hair, I hear. Has some sort of spray for it." Zaraki poured some of the gel into his hands and began shaping Kuchiki's hair into spikes. Kuchiki tried to move away. "Stop fidgeting. Yachiru sits more still than you."
"She actually wants you to do her hair. I, on the other hand, do not require your services."
"I thought you liked my services. You keep comin' back."
"I keep trying to kill you."
"And then the bed bit is an accident? You fall? The great and noble Kuchiki trips on nothing and falls into bed? Okay. Sure. But then you don't get out of the bed until after—"
"Enough." Kuchiki sounded angry. "This is crossing the line. Coming to my house, restraining me, damaging my hair…"
"Yeah, but you're likin' it." Zaraki leered at Kuchiki as he attached the first bell.
"Your knee is between my legs. It is merely physical stimulation which…" Kuchiki sighed. He seemed to realize he was not winning.
"Losin' at wordplay to a peasant from Rukongai? How the mighty have fallen."
"Shut up and uncuff me."
Zaraki adjusted the second bell. "Nah. Havin' too much fun."
"I will make you regret this."
"Yeah? You've lost the last seven bouts. How are you gonna make me regret anything?"
Byakuya glared. Zaraki knew better than to think the argument was over; nothing was ever quite over for the noble.
Zaraki smiled. "Almost done. Then you'll look great."
"And then you will remove the restraints."
Zaraki finished and sat back on his heels, admiring his work. He nodded, climbed off Kuchiki, grabbed his Zanpakutou, and headed for the window.
"Where are you going?"
"You need to release me."
"Need? It would mess up your pretty hair."
Kuchiki angled his head back, observing Zaraki coldly. Zaraki knew that movement, knew that it meant even if he won this debate there wouldn't be sex tonight. "Very well. Leave. But this is not the last you'll hear of this."
Zaraki shrugged. He'd honestly been planning on getting the noble to beg, but it hadn't worked yet. One day. "I'll see you tomorrow. Provided your servants wander in."
"You'll see Sebonzakura too."