Sorry guys, I was gonna upload this a while ago but my computer broke.


Episode 5: Superheroes

"Let's move on to a game called Superheroes. This is for all four of you." Robotnik introduced the next game. The four Mobians stood from their seats and strolled onto the stage. "Cosmo, you're going to be starting out as a superhero..."

"'Superhero?'" Tails raised an eyebrow, "Don't you mean super heroine?'

Cosmo pretended to look down at her crotch and used her arm to simulate a penis. The audience laughed.

"Excuse me, super heroine," Eggman took a sip out of his mug, "Sorry, haven't done this in a while. Okay, Cosmo's gonna be a super-heroine and the others will come in one at a time, and you're all gonna give each other names as they come on stage. Now, what I need from the audience is an unlikely name for a super-heroine!"

Amid the chorus of shouts, one person yelled Mistress Dominatrix!

Tails put his hands on his knees and shook his head. Cosmo facepalmed.

"Mistress Dominatrix!" Eggman grinned, "Sounds like the person I'm meeting tonight, ha ha! Alright, now from that section of the audience, I need a world crisis for Mistress Dominatrix!"

Someone yelled No more whips!

"No more whips, that is quite a crisis! Okay Cosmo, so you are Mistress Dominatrix and there are no more whips! You can start whenever you're ready."

"Hey, where did my..." Cosmo gasped, "Eggman's balls! There's no more whips in the world! How are those rednecks down South gonna hurt their slaves now? How am I gonna hurt my slaves now? Ohh, such a cockblock!"

"Hey Dominatrix!" Tails ran to the stage, "I got here as fast as I could. Nice boobs by the way."

"Thank you. Good thing you're here now, Epilepsy Kid!"

Tails paused for a second. "Sorry, really I am. Please don't punish me, I-"

"Sorry hot fuzz, but I found out there are no more whips left for playtime."

"No more whips? But I'm not here to... here to..."

Then Tails's eyes rolled up in the back of his skull and he collapsed to the floor. He pretended to shake violently. "I-I-I-I Wasssn'tth here fofofofor fuuuunnn...!"

"Did you get in my cocaine stash again?" Cosmo crossed her arms, "You naughty little boy you!"

Cosmo got to a knee and was about to pin Tails to the floor suggestively when Sonic ran to the stage and pretended to kick Tails.

The fox snapped out of his "seizure" and got to his feet, "Oh, you came just in time, Irresponsible Time-Traveler Man!"

The hedgehog paused for a second, trying to think about what to do. "You know buddy, you should really see a-"

Sonic then pretended to jump in from another direction, "Hey, this ain't Japan!" Then he pretended to start talking to himself, "Hey, you're me. You're me too! I went back in time to get me some whips. What's a whip? Oh shut up. No YOU shut up!"

Tails pretended to stick his head through the imaginary time portal, and then he rolled his eyes and pretended to shake violently on the ground once again.

"Ooo, two super fast hedgehogs?" Cosmo winked seductively, "Well, I'd do you both right now if I still had my whip... Wait, did you take it after that session last night?"

Sonic continued to take to his imaginary alternate self. "Dude! You're supposed to hit her. No, don't hit her. Damn right I'm gonna hit that!"

The Cosmo pretended to whack the hedgehog with an imaginary object. Sonic pretended to fall to the ground, and Cosmo straddled his back.

"Where did you take my whips, you little pussy?"

"What are youOW!"

Cosmo smacked Sonic's butt as hard as she could, to a thunderous hysteria from the audience and Eggman. She moaned seductively with every hit and rocked her hips back and forth.

Sonic clenched up in pain "C'mon, take it like a man! No, it hurts, owie owie..."

Knuckles ran to the stage. "Hey guys, I got your call, but I got stuck in Hidden Palace Zone,"

Cosmo hurriedly got off Sonic, and Tails stopped his violent thrashing for a few seconds and got off the ground. He floofed up his tangled tail fur to get the dust off them.

Sonic brushed his spines and rubbed his behind, "Thank god you're here, Social Justice Warrior."

Knuckles mouthed I hate you as both Eggman and the audience guffawed once again.

"How dare you call me that, you shitlord!" Knuckles impersonated a trannie voice, "I'm a proud trans-meterosexual gay lesbian otherkin furry, and you need to check your privilege!"

He walked slowly towards Sonic, pretending to drag enormous folds of fat around his stomach as he wheezed across the stage. The audience howled with laughter.

Cosmo rolled her eyes, "Sorry boy... er, girl... er, whatever. We need your help! I need some whips for my clients, but they all disappeared!"

"Whips? Rapist!" Knuckles waved his fist.

Cosmo grinned. "Oh, I hope so."

The audience burst out laughing again. Sonic nearly did too, but kept character.

Knuckles pretended to reach into his obese body fat and pulled one out of his rear.

"I'll take that, thank you very much," Cosmo grabbed the imaginary whip from the echidna, "If you want to be with me, you're gonna have to pay a little extra."

"Stop raping me, cis scum! PATRIARCHY!" Knuckles screamed as he ran off the stage and pretended to cry in offended horror.

"Well, it's a good thing we solved that problem! How do I get back? You can't! You created a time paradox! What? FUUUUUUUUUU-" Sonic trailed off his curse as he pretended to disappear from existence and left the stage.

Then Tails stopped shaking and got back up to his feet.

"Ow, I can'th feel my thongutthhhh," Tails held his mouth. A collective cringing gasp and laugh came from the audience.

Cosmo slapped the fox's butt for good measure, "Thanks for the help hot fuzz. Come back any time."

Tails nodded wordlessly and ran off the stage.

Cosmo pretended to crack the whip on the ground, "Man, I've had such a looong day..."

She fell to her knees and put her hand under her dress before whipping herself across the shoulder. Eggman rang the buzzer to end the game, to a huge heap of applause and celebration from the audience.

All four of them returned to the seats.

"I gotta give thirty gazillion points to Knuckles for that one. I mean, whooo boy..." Eggman whistled, "Oh yeah, a couple hundred for Cosmo too, that was great."

The Seedrian pouted playfully.

Eggman leaned over his desk, "We can do the rest later!" He whispered to her loudly. She nodded and winked.

"Still hotter than Fifty Shades of Gray," Sonic smiled.

"Yeah, five bucks says that the director gets put on a Tumblr hit list for that," Knuckles commented.

"Well at least I can die happy now," Cosmo shrugged, "I've had Sonic's ass."

Tails' ears rolled back, "What about mine?"

Cosmo shushed the fox, prompting even more laughter from the audience.