A/N - Well, it's been forever since I updated… really, I just got bored of using other peoples characters and stuck to using my own instead, fan fiction isn't as fun as it used to be.
So, there's three things I wanted to say in this authors note:
First - Okay, so maybe I'll move this one to the bottom authors note, it's kind of long (it's a rant at an anonymous reviewer).
Second - anyone else noticed the insane amount of note stories there are now? Really, they've become such a cliché that it's not even funny. It wouldn't be so bad if they were original, but very few of them are (and it's guaranteed that in pretty much every single one they'll introduce silly IM talk, including a weird BFF abbreviation for Alice and Bella and then they all get nicknames). It's kind of put me off wanting to even write these because I'm just like "God, is MY story that bad too?"
Third - It would really, really make me smile if you'd go read (and review) my friend Mari's stories. Her pen name on here is Mari xx and she is awesome. :o)
P.s. Hello to all of you that read this that I now talk to on MSN/on my blog (Max, Melody, Squiggle, Jazzy etc.)… just because I can! HA!
Jasper, Bella, Alice, Edward, Rosalie, Emmett.
--Everyone (minus Carlisle and Esme) are sitting in the Cullen's garage, Bella's eyes looking all red and bloodshot as she engaged in an unspoken staring contest with Emmett with a devilish grin plastered on her face.--
Okay, remind me why we're in the garage again?
Because Bella is unlikely to fall asleep in here, it's too uncomfortable…
Okay, remind me why Bella isn't supposed to fall asleep?
The bet Edward! THE BET!
My money is on Bella…
Alice so told you who was going to win!
I did not!
Actually, I can just feel her determination, it's quite scary really. How long has she been awake now?
42 hours, 12 minutes and 24 seconds.
Well that's specific.
I knew the question was coming
Course you did.
What are the terms of the bet anyway?
If Bella can stay awake for 48 hours, Emmett has to… well, I don't actually know, Bella didn't actually reveal to us what she was going to make him do if he lost. But if Bella loses and falls asleep before the time is up then Emmett is going to make her do the soulja boy dance outside of the Newtons store while wearing a tutu.
HA! And she agreed to that?
Something tells me what she has planned for him will be just as bad.
--Hour 43. Having relocated to the Cullen dining room, Bella is now sitting on the floor giggling at something no one can figure out--
Life is too funny when the world is fuzzy!
Perhaps you should sleep…
NO! You're trying to squish my buzz and make me lose the bet! Traitor!
Calm down Bella, it was just a suggestion…
I don't get it.
Wow, you have successfully confused a vampire. Sleep deprived human 1, mind reading vampire 0.
Do you ever get the urge to hit the table with your head? Or… to say the word "cabbage" out loud? For no reason?
No? Just me then? Awesome.
--Half an hour later, Bella is still on the floor. Surrounded by cans of red bull and mugs of coffee that she refused to allow Esme to clear away, claiming that she was building an army of mugs and cans… an army that she had completely forgotten about 3 minutes after saying that--
Yes oh sleep-deprived one?
Does happy have a limit?
Yes, then it warps back to tragedy! SHOCKING!
Gosh diddly darn it!
Did she just say "gosh"?
Did she just say "diddly"?
Did she just… never mind, this is getting stupid.
Getting? I think we passed stupid at round about hour 30 of this bet.
I'm stupid so I can't tell!
Tried, not stupid!
I mean tired! Maybe I should sleep. NO! Shut up! Hahahahaha! Wear the crown, BE the crown, you ARE the crown!
Sweet Jesus she's lost her marbles.
--Hour 44. Everyone has now relocated to the Cullen living room to watch a movie of Bella's choice… when the movie she chose turned out to be The Wizard Of Oz, Emmett hastily ran upstairs to hide in the closet again, still not quite over the trauma of the last Wizard Of Oz related incident--
Haha, I never noticed before but when Dorothy falls off of the fence, she makes sex noises in the pig pen.
Hahaha! OMG! She really does!
OH dear ceiling cat! That woman is terrifying even when she's not green
And that voice! Gah!
I think she would make a vivacious lover.
I have decided she has no sex parts. She is of neutral gender. It's much too terrifying to even being to imagine her and her big nose and scary voice being capable of bumping uglies with someone.
Some people like… vaginal cobwebs
OH NO! She's green now! Even more terrifying. She just showed up in a puff of red smoke and for some reason the fact her broom is floppy instead of straight bits of straw makes her scarier
Bella, you're making me jumpy! It's just a movie! And I'm pretty sure that woman is dead now…
Okay, I'm just going to hug a pillow in fear.
Good luck - and remember, she's more scared of you than you are of her.
She knows nothing of fear! Green people can't feel fear... it's not in their DNA
Jazz, don't encourage her.
Psh, fine. Spoil my fun. Butthead.
Did you seriously just call me a butthead?
I didn't stutter.
Of course you didn't, one, you're a vampire and two you wrote it, idiot.
Oh, right. My bad - blame Bella! She's making me feel like a five year old on uppers!
Haha I wonder if Dorothy felt like a right tool prancing down the yellow brick road like that
--Hour 46. Emmett has come out of the closet and Bella is glaring at him from her spot on the floor. Well, trying to glare, turns out facial expressions lose their edge when you've been awake for a ridiculous amount of time--
DAMN YOU DOOFUS! It's all your fault.
What'd I do???
All of it.
Can we constantly keep you awake for my own amusement?
The sleep depriveted hyperness will fizzle out soon. Then I'll die. Not literally.
You know what I mean
--46 hours 30 minutes--
Oh em pee I need a - pee
Well, when nature calls, you gotta pick up!
I can't find it... not the pee. The zap. I make no sense. ROOM RAIDERS!
--Bella promptly runs out of the room leaving the vampires staring in her wake looking thoroughly confused and amused… five minutes later--
I return! The pee was a great success.
Oh em PEE, where did you last see it?
Where did I last see what?
Your trash can!
Does anyone have even the faintest clue what she's talking about?
Not a Scooby!
You're as bad as Bella…
Yeah, but at least SHE has an excuse.
None of you ever appreciate the awesomeness of me!
…Love you? :o)
--47 hours. 30 minutes.--
I want you to be my canary!
I need your banana!
I haz no banana!
I need it anyway! You are my banana and you are my everything!
Should I be… worried?
I wouldn't take her seriously until she's had at least 10 hours sleep…
--47 hours, 45 minutes--
How many chocolate fingers am I holding up?
Ten. Ten chocolate fingers.
I see no chocolate fingers…
Start singing this then - "Knick knack paddy whack give the dog a bone, yes sir, yes sir three dogs home"
LOL you made that up!
...That's not right is it? I think I combined rhymes
Oh, Bella, what are we going to do with you.
No but really, what are the actual words
--Hour 48. After having walked upstairs to go Google the correct lyrics to the nursery rhyme, Bella walks back into the living room.--
So, did you find them?
To the song?
The whole reason you went upstairs…
Did I what?
This conversation is going nowhere.
Your FACE is going nowhere! HA!
…Um, no. Not quite.
Well, that's no fun!
You win the bet! You get to embarrass Emmett!
HELL TO THE YEAH!
Be afraid Emmett, be very afraid.
--With that, Bella left the room. After a few minutes, the Cullen's went to find her, expecting to find her plotting some awesome revenge on Emmett… instead, they find her crashed out on the bed in her and Edward's room, muttering stuff incoherently in her sleep, with a content smile on her face.
"Looks like you'll have to wait and worry until she wakes up." Edward said, not taking his eyes off of Bella.
"Double crap." Emmett huffed and then looked to Alice with hopeful eyes.
Her eyes unfocussed and a grin spread across her face as she had a vision and Edward's shoulders shook with laughter, having seen the vision too.
"Oh Emmett, you're never going to live this one down." Alice giggled.
"Come on, it can't be worse than Jasper and the little teapot right? Or Edward and the Barbie Girl thing… right?"
Alice just grinned at her brother and skipped out of the room, Emmett hot on her heels pestering her for answers. Answers she never gave.
The next day, when Bella woke up, she grinned evilly and two hours later, Emmett found himself wearing a blonde wig and pink sequence dress with shiny silver leggings, standing in the middle of a very crowded Mall. All of the Cullen's and Bella laughing and holding video cameras.
"And one… two… three." Alice hit the play button on the iPod dock and music started playing loudly, drawing in a crowd.
Emmett, growled under his breath and started dancing along to the music, leaving all of his audience in a fit of the giggles at seeing a full grown guy dressed up as Hannah Montana doing the Hoedown Throw down (with impressive accuracy, I might add)
"You were right Alice, he's so never going to live this down" Rosalie grinned towards her husband, clicking the zoom button on the camera in her hand for a better shot. --
A/N - Okay, very little of that was made up, they're all saved convos between me and my friends (mostly Roo, sometimes Oreo) and Bella being a sleep deprived idiot is actually me being a sleep deprived idiot (except for a few lines, which was just Roo being randomly awesome)… sorry, I just felt I should update and couldn't be assed being at all creative so I went with the easy way out and gave you something real. As for the end bit, made up on the spot, so sorry if it's not so good.
Anywho… the rant at the anonymous reviewer. To sum up, basically, this reviewer kept like, demanding I update (which I'm used to, and wouldn't have bugged me if she hadn't made the comment I'm about to mention) and said that I shouldn't write my own stories, that I would never finish them and should just stick to writing things like this - every review she left would compliment the story but then she'd cancel out that comment by seeming totally rude.
I ended up ranting about her in my blog (cause that's how I roll, y0), so I won't go into full on rant mode in this a/n, but basically - You don't know me, seriously, just because you read a few stories I wrote doesn't mean you do. Comment on the stories, hell, flame them if you want, I don't care, but don't assume you know me personally, mmkay?
For one thing, my life doesn't revolve around fan fiction, writing this stuff isn't something I *have* to do or something I get paid to do - it's not a job and I don't owe you anything, not even updates. I'll write when I want to, because it's fun for me, and whiney annoying people like you kind of suck the fun out of it and make me NOT want to write… so think about that next time you decide to rudely demand updates and comment on me personally. (I found the review that annoyed me: "I thought you said you would go to 100 chapters. You are a good writer but very random. I THINK YOU COULD BE SOMEONE TO WRITE SHORT-STORIES BUT NOT A BOOK. YOU WOULD GET DISTRACTED AND NEVER FINISH SO GIVE UP ON THAT DREAM." - see what I mean? It's so rude, and she's totally acting like she knows me, not only with the comment about how I would never be able to finish but the whole "give up on that dream" thing... she's assuming that because I like to write my own stories that my dream is to get a book published, now, although I admit that would be totally awesome, that's not my "dream", I doubt I'd ever even bother trying to get published, I write for fun)
And also, for the record, I am way more dedicated to my own stories than I am to my fanfics and about the whole I'd get distracted thing - you DO realise that this story is almost 100 chapters long right? Oh yeah, I REALLY get bored and just give up on things quickly.