Janet stumbled as she came out of the gate, the force of her body coming back to itself and the weight of her pack pushed her forward and into Sam who was stood waiting for her. She heaved the pack higher up onto her back and gave Sam a weak smile. She always felt much shorter with these packs on her back, and it didn't help that Sam was so much taller than her already, with her gorgeous long legs. The first year at the academy had been the worst, she'd had a growth spurt towards the end of the year, a late desperate grope by her body for some height, but before then, the packs had been the same height as her.
At least that's how she remembered it.
She couldn't remember how Sam had talked her into coming to this planet and taking vital samples herself.
Oh, the smile, and the legs. One or the other could have Janet doing anything on the wrong day. Or any day. She wasn't sure trudging about in marshland was going to be much fun though, long legs or not, the samples could be important, useful even in killing virus' and learning about bacterial evolution and all those things that she found quite interesting, while Sam and the rest of SG-1 'watched'. She had done this before, but it had been a while ago and had a feeling that it wouldn't be much different. She'd get dirty and grumpy while SG-1 played cards and chatted and watched her six.
She was wrong as it turned out.
She was a little bit dirty, but a quick wash in a river had sorted that out, but she wasn't too grumpy because Sam had stuck by her the whole day. Sam had helped her, while the boys had played cards and chatted as she had predicted. She was ready for sleep, and now she could just rest and go back to the mountain and her daughter in the morning.
Sam wriggled around in her sleeping bag while Janet watched on, almost giggling as the blonde tried to get comfortable.
"I thought I'd be the one having trouble getting comfy," Janet said, smiling, "it's been a while since I did basic training."
"Maybe Hammond could bring in some refresher courses." Sam lay on her front, head on a small pillow, facing Janet. "I'll have to suggest it."
"Please don't." Sam laughed.
"I'm not that cruel. I like my own bed, hell, I like the bed in my quarters more than this. Though I have gotten used to having someone sleeping next to me." Janet smiled at that, curling her legs up and resting her head on her hand, "I normally share with Jonas." Her voice went low, a sadness in the tone, unable to meet Janet's eyes.
"You miss him." Janet knew the answer, everyone missed Daniel, and Sam had spent so many nights alone in a tent with him, just like this. Janet had no idea of how close a friendship the two must've had.
Sam simply nodded. She was sad but no longer devastated. She moved again, lying on her side so her whole body faced Janet. The moon and the fire meant they could see each other quite clearly.
"Never considered taking Cassie camping?"
"Not once" The matter-of-fact tone made Sam laugh and Jack's voice immediately drifted over to them.
"Will you two keep it down?"
"That's why he always shares with Teal'c." Janet laughed and buried her head in the sleeping bag. "At least Jonas knows when to sleep," Sam added, "Daniel could talk all night if you let him."
"You ever shared with Colonel O'Neill?" Janet asked, coming out from under the covers.
"Once. Never again."
"Care to elaborate?"
"Do I really need to?" Her eyebrows went up, and forwards and Janet laughed again.
"No I guess not."
She woke in the middle of the night with Sam's head resting heavily on her chest. She had moved, sleeping bag and all, across the little space between them to lie next to her. Her head was rising and falling with Janet's slow breaths and it was a welcome feeling almost, to have someone so close to her. She had to wonder if this is what she meant when she spoke about sleeping next to someone, if this is what she meant when she spoke about her relationship with Daniel.
She had to wonder if she was reading too much into this, all she could see was the top of Sam's head and her soft blonde hair.
Soft blonde hair that smelt beautiful.
She shook the thought away and shook Sam awake. She couldn't go back to sleep like this, she wanted to be on her side and she couldn't sleep so close to Sam, underneath Sam. After a moment she groaned and lifted her head up to look at Janet.
"What's wrong?" Her eyes were still closed, her face covered in sleep lines and Janet wondered how effective Sam would be in an emergency, looking as cute as she did.
"You were lying on me."
"Oh." She sat up a little more and opened her eyes to take in her position, "sorry."
"It's okay. I was just getting a little uncomfortable." Sam moved away from her and both women immediately felt the loss. She lay back down on her side to face Janet.
"Sorry, never did that to Daniel." She mumbled, "Or Jonas."
"The Colonel?" Sam smiled.
"Not exactly." Janet laughed then, and crawled a little closer to Sam.
"Now I do want to know."
"We were trying a tent rotation, so we didn't wake anyone up when we came off watch, anyway, we ended up sharing a tent together." Sam shifted, yawning and waking up a little more. "The Colonel decided it would be better if we slept with our heads at opposite ends."
"You ended up with your head in his crotch."
"No," she grinned, "his head was in mine." Janet laughed out loud and put her hand over her mouth. "He's never moved so fast, nearly knocked the tent over." She smiled as Janet tried to fight more laughter, burying her head in the pillow. "I've shared with Daniel ever since." The sadness returned to her voice and Janet wanted to reached out and pull her into her arms. Have her rest on her chest again.
"Sam," she started , but what could she say.
"He knew all my secrets. I knew all his." She whispered, "when we couldn't sleep and we couldn't work, I would tell him everything."
"You can tell me anything you want."
"I can't" The words hit harder than she would've liked. "I can't." Janet moved closer again, so she was face to face with her.
"It leaves me exposed. I don't like the feeling."
"You didn't trust Daniel." Janet watched as a note of anger passed over Sam's face.
"I did, with my life, but not with his."
"He ascended." Sam nodded.
"My dad could've saved him," she spat out, "he could be alive."
"He wanted to ascend."
"But he wasn't at death's door. There was still a chance, and ascension could've come later, much fucking later."
"You haven't talked about this before have you?" Janet asked. Sam shook her head, a tear escaping.
"No, and I guess I can tell you anything." She laughed at herself and Janet smiled.
"You're still angry with Daniel," she said, reaching out to wipe the tear away, "that's normal." Sam nodded, trying not to cry anymore and had closed her eyes when Janet leaned forward and kissed her on the lips, softly, for just a moment, until both women pulled away in surprise. "Sorry, I, I don't know why I did that."
"Really?" They were still close, their lips an inch apart and Janet could feel Sam smile.
"I don't why I did it just then. I know why I did it."
"Tell you a secret?"
"You can tell me anything." Sam said, grinning. Janet huffed out some laughter.
"Daniel told me you have feelings for me."
"Really?" She was angry again.
"I weaselled it out of him when he said something about our friendship."
"Oh, what else did he say?"
"What did you tell him?"
"I didn't tell him anything, I can't, couldn't, trust him." Sam smiled.
"He had a thing for you too. "
"Really?" Sam nodded.
"I'm pretty sure the Colonel does too, Teal'c definitely has a soft spot for you."
"Okay, I'm not sure I needed to know all that." Sam laughed. "It doesn't matter though."
"This does." She kissed Sam again, pulling her arms free of the sleeping bag so she could pull the blonde closer to her, their lips connected as they both tried to free themselves from their sleeping bags. Janet managed to get out of hers, her hands in Sam's hair, kissing her hard but Sam was fighting with hers, and pulled away with a groan.
"I'm stuck." Janet laughed, and fell in to Sam's arms, and she laughed too, resting their foreheads together as they got back some breath from kissing, and laughing. "We shouldn't do this, not now, not here."
"No." Janet kissed her. "Let's go to sleep. We can talk about this tomorrow." She lay back into her sleeping back, holding out an arm, and Sam shuffled close to her, settled into the crook of the other woman's body, her head resting on her chest again. "I am crazy about you though. That's my secret." Sam smiled and shuffled to settle into a comfortable position and fell to sleep.
With their little excursion over, samples collected and the place explored, they packed up the tents and headed back to gate. Sam and Janet hung back, a little, while the Colonel, Jonas and Teal'c went on ahead, trampling over the marshland with more ease than Janet herself had.
"I don't think I'm going to go off-world again for a while."
"Didn't enjoy it?" Sam asked, smiling.
"Oh, I enjoyed most of it, but I prefer labs and beds I think, to field work."
"You've gotten too comfortable in that infirmary." Janet rolled her eyes.
"That's what you said when you convinced me to come here in the first place Sam."
"I remember." She smiled, "but maybe you could join me in my lab at least."
"I can do that." They walked close to each other then, taking a step towards each and bumping into each other, Janet almost lost her balance as the pack weighed more than she did and pulled her over. Sam reached out and grabbed her, pulling her straight and into her body, grinning.
"Will you let me take that thing?"
"No, I can manage." She said, stepping away from Sam, continuing forward, "I do not want you to be man in this relationship."
"Huh? This relationship?" Janet stopped and turned to look at Sam who hadn't moved since pulling her up straight.
"Yeah, I mean, if that's,"
"No, I just hadn't,"
They laughed at their unfinished sentences, and Sam jogged the few feet to catch up with her and they carried on walking towards the gate in silence.
"You want to be the man?" Sam asked suddenly.
"No, I just meant, you know what I meant Sam." Sam laughed, and bumped her hip lightly against Janet's.
"I forgive you." Janet laughed then, and they walked with smiles on their faces for a long while, in silence, watching the men in front of them argue about something.
"I wasn't ever really angry with Daniel." Sam said, the smile disappearing, voice low and sad like last night, "I was just annoyed with him I guess. He annoyed the hell out of me a lot of the time though," she smiled then, small, eyes distance, looking past Janet, "I shouldn't have expected him to do anything less than annoying."
"He annoyed most of the people who loved him." Janet told her, looping her arm with hers. Sam didn't answer and just pulled the woman closer to her, she could take that little comfort until they got to the gate, she knew that, while the rest of her team kept walking forward, the only person who would know would be Daniel, wherever he was, floating in the ether. And with that thought she bent down to kiss Janet quickly on the lips.
"I'm definitely never going off world again." Janet said, when they pulled apart after a moment, Sam's eyes on her team, just to be sure they hadn't seen. She was rarely so reckless, she couldn't be sure about Janet.
"I'll only be disappointed when it isn't this good again."