No one had ever been this awkward about, or during, a physical. Except Jack O'Neill. She was free of one frustration to find another sitting on one of her infirmary beds, a frown on her face and leather on her body.
"I really need you to undress, Ms. Mal Doran."
"Vala," she said, "As tight as that leather . . . thing . . . is, I still need you to strip down."
"Is that a come on?" Vala smiled and sat back with her hands on the bed, stretching her body out and towards Janet. The doctor looked her up and down, and sighed. Vala must get away with murder, she thought. She really needed to do this medical.
"I thought we supplied you with some BDUs?" she asked.
"BDUs are boring. Can I call you Janet?"
"If you undress and put the gown on you can call me Janet." Vala thought about it for a moment.
"Deal." The women jumped from the bed and Janet pulled the curtain around them both before stepping the other side of it. "You're not staying to help?"
"I'll be back in a minute."
When Janet returned with a trolley and a clipboard, she pulled the curtain back to find Vala sitting in the gown, the leather in a pile at the foot of the bed. She sighed in relief.
"Exactly what does a physical involve?" Vala asked, crossing her legs as Janet pulled the trolley in behind the curtain.
"As it's your first and you've had a Goa'uld removed, I'm going to have to perform pretty much every test I have."
"Every test? Honey, I don't want to be here all day."
"I'm sorry, Vala, but it's got to be done." Vala gave a dramatic sigh and Janet smiled. "I'll try and work as quickly as possible."
"Thank you, Janet." She sounded sincere in her gratitude and Janet decided to try and get the worst of it out of the way.
"I sat with that...head woman."
"The psychiatrist." Janet told her.
"For two hours, everyday for a week." Vala continued, "It wasn't nearly as intrusive as this."
She was lying on her back, knees up, legs open as Janet performed another test.
"And she wanted to know everything. All about my mother, my father, my time as Qetesh. My first kiss, my last kiss, the leather, what I like to eat, what I had for dinner seven years ago." Janet tried not to laugh as the women began to exaggerate. "At least she didn't poke holes in me, scan me with lights, blind me, deafen me and touch me without any indecent intention."
"Without any?" Janet asked, pulling Vala's gown down once she was done.
"You've had me strapped down, caused me pain, spent a whole ten minutes feeling my breasts."
"All necessary tests, Vala, and standard here on Earth."
"So it's not just me going through this torture?"
"Well, that doesn't make me feel better." Janet tried not to laugh again and held it in with a huge grin instead. "Now what?" She asked sitting up straight.
"Stand up. I want to check your posture."
"The way you stand, I want to see if there's any damage to your bones." Janet explained, "I want to know exactly how Qetesh may have affected your body."
"Oh." It seemed reasonable but it was still frustrating. Lights in her eyes and sounds in her ears, Janet's hands everywhere but she couldn't let herself think about the fiery doctor like that. And she couldn't really, because even when Janet had been checking her breasts for lumps, just moments before she'd been bent over the bed in pain.
This was gentler, though, finally, Janet was standing in front of her, her hand cupping her neck, warm and tender, their bodies almost touching.
This was much better.
"Do you want a box or something?" Vala couldn't help herself, looking down at her.
"I may want to repeat some of these tests." Janet said, giving Vala a hard glare. Vala smiled, and kissed Janet on the lips, soft and slow, their entire bodies perfectly still.
"Please don't put me through this again, Doctor Fraiser." Vala said, pulling her head away, but not her body, which was inches away from Janet's now. "Please?"
"Kiss me again and I'll think about it."