Title: Soul-Searching

Author: Turquoisetumult a.k.a. CriesofCapricorn

Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Genre: General/Fluffy Romance

Rating: G

Word Count: 426

Author's Notes: Written a long, long time ago. I hardly remember writing this, but you should review anyway 'cause you want to make me happy, don't you?! ;)

Summary: "She's soul-searched herself without even knowing it; and she's found a perfectly wonderful answer." Shortly before "Hell's Bells," Anya soul searches herself.


Anya remembers having a powerful conversation with Tara once. At the time, she thought nothing of it, though, and regarded it as some weird Wicca thing. But now, she realizes it means so much more than her initial thoughts.

Tara had been talking about soul-searching. And about how important it was to know who you are … who you really are. Anya, the blatant woman that she was, had simply replied to her, "What do you mean, who you are? I thought you were Tara. Tall, young, dirty-blondish, Willow's girlfriend, Wicca … what else is there to know? Are you a secret agent or something? Oh! Can I be your sidekick?"

Tara had laughed then, quietly, and began to explain again. "No, Anya. I mean, there are many different sides of a person. And to soul-search yourself is to find a way to intertwine all these persons … to make you complete."

"But I…" Anya had trailed off, then, unable to complete her sentence for Willow had snatched Tara away to dance.

She remembers that conversation now, extremely clear in her mind. She's found an answer. She's soul-searched herself without even knowing it; and she's found a perfectly wonderful answer. She is a woman who's turned twenty-one a few months ago – born the fourth of July, after all. She's at the legal drinking age now, although, she had been consuming alcohol long before this point in time.

She's Anya Christina Emanuella Jenkins. She was no longer Aud, the faithful woman who had been deceived by her partner. Nor was she Anyanka, the vengeance demon who had sworn herself to serve scorned women for the rest of her life. Of course, those characters, those personas, lie within her. They've always been a part of her and, she imagines, always will.

But something about her is different. She's noticed that she has kept using her pseudonym these recent years: Anya Christina Emanuella Jenkins. And, in a nutshell, that's who she is. She is a thousand year-old demon passing as a young adult. She is a woman who has fallen madly, deeply in love with the Xander Harris – of all the men, she thinks, that she could have chosen, it had to be him.

But she doesn't even mind. Because she's Anya Christina Emanuella Jenkins who is living the dream. Today, she's going to marry Mr. Alexander Lavelle Harris, the most comical ordinary man for the most comical bizarre woman. And now she'll be Mrs. Anya Christina Emanuella Jenkins Harris – and that's all the soul-searching she needs to do.