(A/N) Sorry it took so long to update. I want to give a thanks to Rocket launcher trombone, encyser, and Kankuro'sPuppetGirl. Your suggestions are in this chapter. The entire chapter is on cliché plots.

The Naruto girls are kidnapped!

-gasp-

Maybe by international spies. Or maybe it's because they need to be put under the witness protection program. Or even better, one of their divorced parents kidnapped them for ransom money.

Nah, it was vampires.

And I bet your wondering who the vampires are, right?

Are they from Buffy, the Vampire Slayer? Are they blood sucking fiends seeking revenge on the girls? Or are they from another planet?

Yeah right. They're the Naruto guys.

Of course, it was good a good thing to be kidnapped by vampires. I mean, they have the best of the best. Silk sheets on their beds, foods imported from different countries, bathrooms with clean tubs. Yeah, they live the good life.

"Velcome to our lair," vampire Naruto says.

"What?" the Naruto girls ask in unison.

"I said, velcome to our lair," Naruto repeated.

"Yeah, I heard the 'to our lair part', but the first part I couldn't understand," Tenten says.

"Velcome?" Naruto asks.

"Yeah, what the hell our you saying?" Temari asks.

"I'm saying velcome," Naruto said, befuddled.

"Still can't understand," Sakura says.

"Vhat can't you understand?" vampire Neji asks.

"Oooh, I get it," Ino says. "They say 'w' like 'v'. Like, vhere is my dignity?"

The girls nodded. Then they started laughing.

"Vhat's so funny?" vampire Sasuke asked.

That only made them laugh harder.

"Ve vant to vuck you!" vampire Naruto yelled.

They stopped laughing, now completely creeped out.

"I'm going to be leaving now, I have other fics I have to attend to," Sakura said, backing away.

"Yeah, me too," the other girls said, backing away, too.

"Vait, don't leave!" vampire Naruto called.

Too late. The Naruto girls were now sprinting.

Well, so much for that plot.

-0-

Naruto characters turned chibi!

They were sitting down, minding their own business, when Tinkerbell came and turned them into chibis. Yeah, Tinkerbell. Who would've guessed?

You think they'd be cute.

But Tinkerbell forgot something.

They're ninja. Ninja can't be cute. They're assassins that sneak around all the time. They can't be cute.

But somehow, they manage to be cute ninja.

"Ha, Neji, you have a squeaky voice," Lee taunts.

"So do you!"

"Hey, why do I have such a big head?" Naruto asks.

"I look fat!" Sakura cried.

"I'm not complaining. I'm a smexy chibi," Itachi says.

Everyone stares.

Yeah, chibi Naruto characters. Why can't people figure out how much of a disaster that would be?

-0-

Naruto characters are magically transported to the Harry Potter world!

"Welcome to Hogwarts!" says a teenager who looked like he suffered a lot of abuse in his childhood because of his dorky glasses.

The Naruto characters are on a mission to protect the Harry Potter characters from Voldemort. Yet again. It's times like these the Naruto characters want to put a kunai to their throats.

"What the hell is with the accents?" Naruto asked.

"They're fancy people," Sasuke replied.

Naruto characters are guided into the dining hall to be sorted into houses.

First up: Naruto

"Gryffindor," says the sorting hat on Naruto's head.

What do you expect? The main characters have to be in the other main character's house. So to sum it up, all the rookie 9 are placed in Gryffindor. Except Sasuke. He's in Slytherin. He and Orochimaru have their own room.

"So, what do we do now?" Naruto asks.

"We go to our classes," Harry says.

So they went to their classes. Which is odd because they just got into their houses. But the authors don't really care about that.

So they're in Potions class now.

"I'm your evil teacher Severus Snape. Fear me."

"Dude, he reminds me of Orichimaru," Naruto says. "You think he's a pedophile, too?"

"Yes, Uzumaki," He says. "Hear that, Potter."

Harry's now cowering in a corner.

Will Harry get raped? Will the Naruto characters lose their minds? Will one of them fall in love with someone from Harry Potter? Will global warming ever be stopped? Read to find out!

(A/N) I'm sort of disappointed in this chapter. I don't know if it's really that good. I might actually go back later and change it. But you have to tell me what you think! So, review, and I'll give you teh internet. Just kidding. I'll give you cookies.