A/N: HELLO ALL THE PEEPS THAT HAVE READ MA STORIES SO FAR yes I am writing another story, but I'll be trying to do it at the same time as the whole high school daze thingy. Yeah, I think -unless I ask for something like ideas from my lovely reviewers- that each chapter will come out on Thursdays for High School Daze, and Saturdays for Whoever said Babies were a bundle of joy? (This story) well here u go just a little idea that popped up inside my brain while I was eating some snails (YESH I EAT SNAILS XD) and I was having a bath. ENJOY THE TORMENT AND HORROR THAT ITACHI UCHIHA IS ABOUT TO GO THROUGH (yes I hav realized I hav an OBSSESSION of seeing Uchihas in pain, it's because they are emo, I like taking the mick outta emos, and what's not to laugh about them I mean seriously, Sasuke's hair, emoness, stalker fangirliness, HE GOES TO A GAY SNAKE FOR POWER AND THE GAY SNAKE MAN WANTS HIS BODY!!!!! . Now Itachi is just plain messed up, I mean he killed his WHOLE clan and lives in an organization f freaks ¬¬) well ENJOY WHILE I ATTEMPT TO BREAK OUTTA JAIL FOR ATTEMPTIGN TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD WITH MY FAITHFUL ARMY OF SPORKS!!!!!!
A woman in a shawl was running as fast as her feet would carry her, she had 3 bundles in her arms that were all murmuring and fidgeting about, which made it harder for her to keep track on what she was doing. One pale little hand reached up to her hair and tugged on it to examine it, she didn't mind, and carried on running.
She stopped when she reached a huge boulder and placed the babies to float on the water for a short time, she quickly done a kage bunshin and sent them out looking for some reeds. They all came back to her, successful and gave her the reeds, while three other bunshins picked up the crying bundles and rocked them to sleep. The Lady made a small basket, but it was just big enough to hold the 3 infants and was light enough to float. The kage bunshins came and put the babies in the basket, but not before placing a small kunai/rattle thingy in each of their tiny hands.
She sensed chakra coming, and jumped back into the trees cancelling the jutsu for the kage bunshins. She sat there and watched. A man with long raven-black hair, pulled back into a neat ponytail, came up to the boulder and looked down at the basket full of murmuring babies. He looked left and right before cautiously picking up the basket and going inside the lair of the Akatsuki. The lady smiled and threw off her shawl, and her hair ended in 2 thick blonde, low ponytails.
Her smile then changed to a wicked smirk "Let's see who cracks first, the new Team 7 or the Akatsuki…" she commented and laughed evilly, took a swig of sake form a bottle she had, and set ff again.
'I hope Shizune has those documents ready or so help me I'll set konohamaru on her"
xxx With Itachi xxx
Itachi slowly walked towards the Akatsuki base; he was by himself, because he went on a solo mission, and he was holding… SHOPPING BAGS!!!! He groaned when he realized his foot path was blocked by a basket. Itachi put the lightest bag in his mouth and picked the basket up, he looked around looking for someone, when he was distracted but the soft gurgle coming form the basket. He summoned up some kage bunshin to hold the bags (GOD AKATSUKI FOOD SHOPPIGN SUX XD.) Itachi carefully lifted up the blanket that covered the inside of the basket. He twitched when a little hand came and tugged on his hair. He tore the blanket clean off, nearly squealed, but he is an Uchiha, Uchihas do not squeal (LIES ALL LIES I TELL U .)
Three small 8 month old infants were all looking up at him, one had very short raven-black hair and matching onyx eyes, the other; small blonde hair and crystal blue aqua eyes, and the last one had short cherry pink hair tied up in two cute little pigtails and emerald eyes. The black haired baby spoke up… well said something... "Papa"
Itachi twitched again… he sighed when he could see no one or sense any chakra, and moved the boulder aside. His kage bunshins followed and went straight to the kitchen to put the food away. This'll be a fun thing to tell the leader, he thought sarcastically. He went up to his room and took the babies out one by one, deciding what gender, they were "Boy, Boy, girl" he muttered.
The girl was wearing an elegant baby pink dress, and the other two boys had a red and blue top with some shorts on. They all sat on the bed and stared at the raven haired man before them. After what seemed like an eternity of staring, the little girl clapped her little hands and put them up towards the man. Itachi leaned forward, as if the little girl would say something. As soon as he was close enough, the little girl clung round his neck. He lifted himself up with the little girl dangling from his neck. Itachi put his hands round the little girl's waist to support her and she giggled happily, he looked back at the other two babies. The blonde haired baby was humming and rocking side to side smiling.
"Ok that's two done and sorted, but where's the other-"
Itachi was interrupted by a shoe that was flung at his head from behind, he turned round and glared at the little boy in a bundle of red and black cloaks, Itachi lifted up the shuffling mass of cloaks, which revealed the missing baby, who was now chewing on his most prized kunai.
"ARGH NO DROP THAT NOW NO YOU DON'T CHEW ON IT!!! ARGH WHY DID U HAV TO HAV TEETH????!!!! NOO MY KUNAI!!!!! MY PRECIOUS KUNAI!!!" Yes this sounded very weird if u couldn't see what was happening, and Deidara just happened to pass by his door. Deidara twitched and flung the door open shouting:
"OH MY GOD UN!!!!! YOU AND KISAME ARE GAY YEAH!!!!!" Deidara stopped when he noticed the three kids, one chewing on Itachi's favourite kunai, another sitting happily on his bed and a baby girl nestled in his arms, that was now asleep. He looked at Itachi who was now twitching uncontrollably. Deidara chuckled nervously and stepped out the room, before Itachi could attempt to attack him.
Itachi placed the sleeping girl on the bed and ran out the door after Deidara. The raven haired baby clapped and squealed with delight, then went over to Itachi's special weapons box, a box filled with all sorts of weapons imaginable.
It took Itachi a couple of seconds after finding and strangling Deidara, that a box full of murderous weapons was dangerous around children, they would chewed to death in seconds. Itachi widened his eyes in horror and dragged Deidara back to his room, where the found the same raven haired boy with his head in the box, he wasn't moving. Itachi slowly crept forward while Deidara sat on the bed massaging his sore neck. Itachi picked up the black haired little boy and found out he had just fallen asleep while rummaging through his almighty weapons box.
He sighed in relief and placed the little sleeping boy next to the girl, while he watched the other boy who was now yawning and blinking his eyes repeatedly.
"Um, Itachi yeah, why hav u got 3 kids yeah?" Deidara asked, staring at the now 3 sleeping masses on Itachi's bed.
"It's a long story Deidara, I'll explain it later," with that Itachi fainted from panic, tiredness and those heavy EVIL shopping bags of doom.
Deidara walked out the room laughing.
12 hours later
Itachi woke up first, and attempted to get up, and found that there were three new weights on his body. He groaned and opened his eyes, only to find that the 2 sleeping babies where huddled on top of him, well blonde baby was clinging to his arm, and the other two were on his chest.
Just then Tobi came bursting in
"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!!! TOBI KNOWS ALL TOBI- why is Itachi –Sama being held captive by short dwarf people? DON'T WORRY ITACHI-SAMA TOBI WILL SAVE YOU!!!!" (Yes we all love Tobi don't we?)
Tobi jumped into the room, and picked up the babies and proceeded to throw them at the window, but Itachi stopped him. The Babies, however, disturbed from the fact that had been forcefully lifted up and taken away from their source of warmth, began blubbering and soon they started crying their hearts out.
"Why do you little dwarf people cry? are you that weak? YOU ARE NO MATCH FOR TOBI HA HA HA!!!!"
Itachi smacked Tobi on the head and placed the babies on the bed, then he looked in the basket for the blanket. In the process of looking for the blanket, he found the rattles that Tsunade had given them. He gave the babies the blankets and the kunai-rattles. The kids stopped crying and Itachi walked over to Tobi rubbing his OWN forehead, he was still tired.
"Those, Tobi, ARE BABIES HUMAN BABIES, they are NOT dwarf people and you DO NOT attempt to FLING them out the WINDOW!!!!"
"But- but Tobi was trying to help Itachi-sama" Tobi whimpered.
"Tobi get out of my room now!"
Tobi left, whimpering slightly. Itachi looked at the kids, who, surprisingly, were trying to hit each other with the kunai-rattles, the ends were not sharp, they were blunt but they could still do some damage, Itachi shrugged and walked over to an empty scroll and began writing something down. There was an odd silence, Which Itachi didn't mind, but then it was interrupted by 3 ominous growls. He turned round slowly and stared at the three children on his bed, they stared back. Silence. More growls. The babies were scrunching up their faces in malice and stared at Itachi for a long time. It took him 15 minutes to realise they were hungry.
He stood up and walked over to them. He then picked then up, all three in his arms and walked down to the kitchen. Konan, Kisame, Hidan and Pein were in the kitchen at the time, and despite all the surprised looks he was getting, he ignored them and placed the babies on the counter.
Silence. Growls. Giggles from the kids. More silence.
"They are so KAWAII ITACHI!!!! CAN I HOLD ONE??" Konan asked letting the babies play with her finger, she let out a girlish giggle, when the blonde boy put her pinky finger in his mouth.
Itachi shrugged and pulled out some bread, milk and ham. Kisame, Pein and Hidan were looking at Itachi and Konan like WTF? 0.o, Pein was holding a fork with spaghetti on it to his mouth, but just held it there looking at Konan's strange behaviour and the children. Kisame had a bit of spaghetti hanging off his lip, and Hidan just stared.
Itachi made small bite sized sandwiches, and poured 3 small cups of milk, he himself just ate one mini sandwich and set the plate in front of the kids. Konan was holding the little girl and feeding her one of the sandwiches. The 2 boys were sitting closer together; drinking the milk from the cup they were given and ate a few sandwiches.
"Itachi can I take this one to wash her? Please please please she's really cute!" Konan said cuddling up to the little girl, who giggled and hugged Konan closer.
Itachi swore, loudly, he forgot that they needed to be washed.
"Konan can you do me a favour? I don't know how to actually wash them, so can you-" Itachi began, but was then interrupted by Konan's high girlish squeals. She scooped up the other 2 and began to run to the bathroom, when Itachi stopped her.
"You need to burp them, or they'll be sick." He stated calmly, taking the raven haired boy and patting his back lightly. The little boy made a loud burp that shook the windows and made everyone, except Pein and Konan, hair stick up and go all frizzy like. Said boy grinned.
"He totally outranked you in the burping contest Itachi…" Kisame said snorting into his coke.
"and nice hairstyle, afro TOTALLY suits you" he finished laughing.
Itachi glared. Itachi then took Blondie and burped him. Surprisingly it was the same volume as the black haired boy. The windows shook again and this time, Pein's hair was affected. Konan finally burped the cherry haired girl, The burp was off the frikken scale from her. The windows crashed and got blown away, TV had a crack running down it, everyone's hair, except Konan's, was afro and going in one direction, in more descriptive way, it looked like the whole lot of them had been hit by three tornadoes. The rest of the Akatsuki came running down the stairs, Deidara in front, who shouted
"WHICH ONE OF YOU BASTARDS STOLE ONE OF MY BOMBS YEAH????!!!!!"
"Itachi, what exactly are you and Konan holding?" Sasori asked inquiring the Uchiha sceptically.
Itachi pointed at the little girl who was giggling happily, as Konan rocked her gently.
"YOU MAY BE CUTE, UN BUT THAT GIVES YOU NO RIGHT TO STEAL MY BOMBS YEAH!!!"
The little girl whimpered and dug her head into Konan's chest clutching onto the soft black fabric, crying slightly. Konan went and smacked Deidara upside the head.
"SHE DIDN'T STEAL ANY OF YOUR BOMBS YOU IDIOT!!! SHE JUST BURPED!!!!" Konan yelled.
"She? SHE BURPED?? Whoa, she totally beat you Itachi!" Konan rolled her eyes and put the little girl down, who ran behind Itachi's legs hiding peering out from behind them every now and then. The black haired boy ran out and hid behind Itachi's legs as well. The blonde boy was hiding his face in his chest. Itachi twitched and put the blonde boy down, who went and joined his other 2 friends behind Itachi's legs. Deidara kneeled down to their eye level and stared at them. Itachi moved his legs and nudged the children forward with his arms. The kids stepped forward a bit and stared at Deidara who just stared back. The pink haired girl, looked liek she was on the verge of tears and began sucking her thumb. The blonde one walked forward and grabbed Deidara's hand and looked at it. The mouth on Deidara's hand licked the blond boy's face who giggled and pulled the other 2 in front of him to show them the special hand. The pink haired girl was still scared of "the loud man" and ran towards the red haired shinobi hiding underneath his cloak.
The other 2 boys were staring at Deidara's hand in awe. Sasori bent down and lifted up his cloak and stared at the little girl who was still sucking her thumb and was sitting nervously by his legs. Sasori picked her up and stared at her. He smiled slightly and she clapped her hands.
"These kids, Itachi, where did you get them? Or did you just screw some random chick and got her pregnant with triplets?" Sasori asked putting on a little puppet show for the kids who were watching. Itachi glared.
"I didn't get anyone pregnant, they were just in a reed basket outside the base do I picked them up, and that's it." He answered eating a sandwich. Konan came back and announced she was gonna wash them.
"What took you so long?" asked Pein
"I had to make extra clothes for them that's why" Konan held up a small flowered sundress and a black mini version of Akatsuki cloak, an orange shirt with a swirl and chibi fox on it and some khaki shorts another mini version of Akatsuki cloak and last but not least a black and red skull top with matching black shorts and same cloak.
"You made.. those?" everyone asked at like the same time.
"Yup I already had the cloaks, but I didn't hav any clothes so I cut up some old ones and made these " Konan was extremely proud of herself. Konan picked up the little girl and placed her on her shoulder and the little girl clung to her neck to stop falling off, and she held the other boys' hands and led the way to the bathroom. All the guys looked at each other for awhile and heard the sound of splashing water and giggles coming from upstairs.
"Meeting, now." Pein said getting up and walking to the meeting room, everyone followed suite.
Well there you go too all those who haven't figured it, keep guessing I'll tell you maybe in the next chapter I always thought it would be funny if the whole Akatsuki had to look after babies, I tried to make it seem as cute as possible well I hope u lieked it I'll still be writing High skool daze, this is just for fun now.. LET THE TORTURE OF THE AKATSUKI COMMENCE!!!!BWAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHA