Hey all! Just a little challenge I found about Luke trying to give 'The Talk' to Ben! Wrote it in about 20 minutes, so don't be too harsh! But, please do read and review!
Ben walked into the living room cautiously. His father, the great Luke Skywalker, looked surprisingly nervous. He was sitting on the far couch, rigid, his hands tapping on his knees and his eyes darting around furiously.
Ben waved a hand in front of his father's face, "Dad?"
Luke jumped up, "Ben! When did you get home? Why don't you have a seat?"
Ben took a hunk out of his cookie and sat down in his favorite recliner, "Mom said you needed to talk to me. Everything," he looked again at his dad's anxious face and sweating hands, "ok?"
Luke began to pace around the room.
"Ben, there come a time in a young man's life…when…" Luke trailed off, searching for the right words.
He tried again, "Well, you see son, as a boy gets older, there's…" Why was this so difficult for him?
Ben glanced up from his cookie, "There's more credits? Speeders? Jedi training techniques?!"
Luke looked him hard in the eye, "No, Ben. Well, yes…I mean, all that stuff comes later," Ben sat back in the chair, his brows knitted together, "But what I really wanted to talk to you about was…" and then it came to him, the age old metaphor, "I want to talk to you about the birds and the bees!"
Ben eyed his father warily, "The birds?"
Luke nodded excitedly.
"And the bees?"
Luke's eyes were bright.
Ben sighed, "Well what has that got to do with the price of eggs in Naboo?"
The grin on Luke's face dropped and he pounded his head into the wall, "Why…pound…is this…pound…so…pound…dang…pound… hard?"
Ben sank back into the chair, going through the conversation again. What had he said? He shrugged his shoulders and waited for his father to back away from the nearly-dented wall.
In time Luke took a step back and calmed himself.
"Okay, let's try this a different way."
Ben nodded encouragingly from the chair, his cookie all but gone.
"Ben, son…when a young boy comes to a certain age…there are things going on in his head…" Luke was finding himself at a loss of words…again.
"You mean like, who I'll get to be my Jedi Master? Or how many times you can throw a spit ball at Mrs. Kyner and her not notice? Like how long it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Or if you are really ever going to need to know how many times 3 can go into 86? Or like if I'll ever make it to Level 5 of the Surviving the Jedi Purges? Or how long you can go without-"
"No, Ben!" Luke rubbed his temples, a headache already in the midst of forming, "For Force's sake…"
Ben jumped up, "Well what do you want me to do Dad? I mean seriously all you've been going on about for the past 20 minutes is the birds and the bees and 'certain ages'," he mimicked his father's serious voice. Just at that moment Mara Jade walked in with a load of groceries.
She glared at Luke, "You're still talking about that?"
Luke threw his hands in the air, "No because we haven't even gotten to that part yet!"
Ben had had about enough of all this.
"Talked about what?!" he screeched.
Mara walked briskly past the living room and headed for the kitchen, "He wanted to talk to you about sex," she said nonchalantly.
Ben's face went white and he looked back at his father whose face had also turned a pale color. He backed away slowly and Luke called after him, "But Ben! We need to talk about it! Man to man!"
Ben back further up the stair, "No way, Dad. Not in this life time!"
Ben turned on the stairs, "No Dad!" He put his hands over his ears to drone out his father's voice, "LALALALA, I can't hear you!" Within a second the door was slammed and music was pouring out the bottom.
Luke's shoulders sagged in defeat and he made his way into kitchen. He grabbed a cookie and sat down, nibbling slowly at it.
Mara picked up his hand and looked at him with sad eyes, "Aww, it's okay honey. You knew it would be hard."
Luke rubbed her hand with his thumb, "Yeah, but at least it's over," he smiled loosely at the thought.
Mara chuckled, "Oh, silly Luke. You know you're going to have to try again."
Luke's voice rose to a whine, "Again?"
Mara grinned maliciously, "Again."