For those of you who read Club Secret you will know that my Naruto muse has abandoned me. In regards to Club Secret it wasn't the end of the world as I already had a plan of the last few chapters to work off. With Perfect Punishment...I had ideas, but no structure to put them into. Which is why I've decided that, instead of leaving everyone hanging for a story I have no inspiration for, I'd write a final chapter that sums up how I thought the fic might go. Not what you've all been waiting for, I know, but after scraping 7 drafts of chapter 13 I knew it wasn't going to happen. So this is the last chapter, and my last opertunity to thank all of you who have reviewed and faved and stuck with me for so long. Your support has meant a lot and I hope this chapter will be some consolation to you.
2 Years Later
Obito cursed as he tugged at the knot of his tie. For the first time in his life he was, miraculously, early for a meeting. Not just any meeting, either, but his first official date with Kakashi. A couple of weeks ago, after a few too many drinks, the two of them had fallen into bed together. What had followed had been an awkwardness the likes of which their friendship had never seen before. They had both dutifully avoided each other and pretended as if that fateful night had never happened. Eventually Itachi had become tired of watching them dance around the issue and had 'encouraged' Obito to ask Kakashi out on a date. Obito had ceded to peer pressure and made the call, half hoping that Kakashi would turn him down at the same time as praying his old friend would say yes. In the end Kakashi had agreed and they'd set a date. Obito had been so nervous that he'd turned up an hour early for their date and been forced to wait in the restaurant under the weight of the waitresses' curious stares.
As the hour of reckoning drew closer he'd started to consider the prospect of running away and pretending that he'd forgotten their meeting. That sounded like something he'd do – he could definitely pull that off. Then the date would be postponed until much later, maybe even forever, and in time they would forget about the whole incident and he and Kakashi would go back to being friends without any of that awkward sexual tension that had permeated their encounters for the last year and a half. Yeah, that's definitely what would happen.
Obito dropped his head onto the table with a resounding thud and moaned into his napkin. "Why? Why does this sort of thing always happen to me?"
"I feel I should remind you that this date was your idea."
Obito's head shot up, his eyes wide and a blush staining his cheeks as he stared at the man now sitting opposite him. "Kakashi!" he bleated. "Don't sneak up on me like that! You're not a ninja, you're a school teacher!"
The twist of Kakashi's mask indicated he was smiling. "You're early."
His cheeks still burning, Obito forced a casual shrug. "Yeah, well, I thought I should make an effort. If we're going to do this we should do this properly." He paused, studying Kakashi's apparel. Like Obito he was wearing a dark suit and tie along with his trademark facemask. The Uchiha swallowed and said, "You look nice."
"You too," Kakashi returned, sounding just the slightest bit uncertain. "You're wearing contacts?"
"Yeah, I thought it was about time I get over my fear of putting stuff on my eyeball and give them a go."
"They look good."
After a moment of awkward silence Kakashi reached for the menus and handed one to Obito. "We should probably order."
"Yeah, definitely," Obito responded gratefully.
They spent the next few minutes perusing the menu and placing their order with the waitress. Once that was done they were forced to return their menus and think of a new topic of conversation. For a long time both of them drew a blank on what counted as an appropriate ice-breaker.
"You know," Kakashi started carefully, "this is the restaurant where Sasuke took Gaara for their first date."
"Really?" Obito responded as he quickly glanced around the establishment. Sure enough, he recognised the table at which he and Kakashi had sat and spied on the teenagers. "Huh, thought the name sounded familiar. I never made the connection though." He paused for a moment before adding, "That means this is also the place where Naruto and Gaara had their first public date."
"Yes. That was painful to watch."
"After Gaara admitted this was where Sasuke had taken him it was. That was a pretty dumb move on his part; I don't understand why he thought that would be anything other than a massive mood killer."
"I assume he was trying to be honest. They agreed there would be no secrets between them in regards to Sasuke, and Gaara must have thought that was something he should disclose."
"It wasn't really a secret though. It was just...something awkward that he really shouldn't have brought up."
"He did bring it up though."
"Yeah," Obito sighed. "And then, because Naruto is stubborn and unwilling to ever admit that he occasionally feels threatened by my cousin, he decided that they were going to stay put and have a much better date than Gaara had with Sasuke. Which they did, in the end, and Naruto even got some under-the-shirt action as a reward for navigating through that disaster."
Kakashi rolled his eyes at Obito's leer. "He was also rewarded by having pictures of his public display of affection published in a newspaper."
"Oh yeah," Obito winced. "That was bad. Gaara's dad took the news he was gay with about as much grace as my folks did."
"Luckily for Gaara Tsunade was willing to let him stay with them when his father kicked him out."
"Lucky for Sasuke too," added Obito with a rueful grin. "That was just the opportunity my sneaky asshole of a cousin was waiting for. Gaara goes from living among the economically struggling to rubbing shoulders with the rich and famous – if Hollywood is right then of course he's going to feel out of his depth! So Sasuke swoops in and says he'll help him to adjust so that he feels comfortable in Naruto's world. Gaara accepts, they start spending loads of time together at parties and other social functions, and then boom – Naruto gets jealous."
"And Sasuke fans the flames by asking Gaara to dinner, which of course Naruto mistakes for a date."
"And he naturally decides to crash it."
"Unfortunately for Naruto, brawling in the streets hasn't been romantic since the time of the Vikings."
"The same goes for spilling dinner over your date."
Kakashi was unable to stop a short laugh from escaping his throat as he said, "It's unsurprising that Gaara stormed off after knocking their heads together."
Obito joined in his laughter as he added, "That is still the most painfully hilarious thing I have ever seen."
Kakashi nodded and dampened his grin as he became more serious. "I'm glad that wasn't the end of their relationship."
"Yeah," replied Obito, still smiling slightly. "It would have been a shame if that was what caused them to give up. But Gaara is just as stubborn as Naruto, and neither of them were going to let Sasuke ruin them. Which is why they're still together, two years later, and madly in love – or at least that's the impression I get when I see them together."
Kakashi nodded in agreement. "As madly in love as only teenagers can be. And as for Sasuke..."
Obito crowed with laughter at the mention of his cousin and gained a few disapproving stares from the restaurant's other patrons. "Oh, he's madly in love too. He and that Suigetsu kid make a surprisingly good couple. You should see them together Kakashi – it's just priceless!"
"I see them together in school. Suigetsu spends more time in my classroom than in his own."
"Can't bear to be separated for a moment?" Obito asked, unable to keep a straight face.
"Something like that," Kakashi sighed. His gaze drifted across the restaurant and surprisingly stumbled upon a collection of familiar faces. "It seems our friends and family have taken some time out of their busy schedules to return the favour and spy on our date."
"What?!" Obito cried as he hurriedly scanned the restaurant. He eventually spotted his cousins along with Suigetsu, Naruto and Gaara seated at a table not too far away from his. "Those assholes," he hissed and gave the group the finger.
"We did the same to them," Kakashi pointed out.
"Yeah, but they were kids, and we were just trying to look out for them! We're adults – we don't need supervision."
"Obito," Kakashi said gently, trying not to smile, "you're not acting very adult right now."
"Shut up Kakashi."
At the other table Suigetsu was bored. "Why are we even here? Itachi's the only one who can lip read and even then he's only getting half the conversation!"
"We're here because they spied on all of our dates," replied Sasuke for what felt like the hundredth time that night.
"I'm here because I'm sick of their unresolved sexual tension and I don't trust those imbeciles not to mess this up," answered Itachi without looking away from the still conversing couple.
Also watching Obito and Kakashi, Gaara mumbled, "I wonder if our dates were this painful to watch."
"Probably," responded Naruto. "I remember them being pretty awkward at the time."
Without needing to look, Gaara reached for Naruto's hand. The blond grasped the pale appendage and squeezed reassuringly. A small smile unconsciously crossed both their lips.
"That's it," Suigetsu growled. He grabbed Sasuke by the neck of his shirt and dragged him to his feet. "We're going to go make out in the bathroom; you losers enjoy yourselves."
Sasuke glared at his boyfriend, but didn't protest as he was led away from the table.
"Foolish little brother," Itachi muttered, still not looking away from where his cousin appeared to not be crashing and burning.
Naruto grinned as he shifted his chair closer to Gaara's. "You want to leave too?"
"I want to witness Obito make a fool of himself and have photographic evidence to lord over him for the rest of his life."
Naruto snickered. "Good point. It's only fair."
"Yes," Gaara agreed with a vicious smile. "It's only fair."