Title-- Death Threats From An Over-Protective Father Don't Even Compare...
Rating-- K+
Genre-- Friendship
Disclaimer-- Don't own, don't own; just this fic I can claim as my own...
Sum-- Mikaela's breaking up with Sam and we find out that jealous robots can be very manipulative robots.


It's funny how one minute, you're grateful to be alive. Everything makes perfect sense, and the things that don't you can't give two shits for.

This is what Sam thought, making out with Beautiful Girlfriend Mikaela. Beautiful Girlfriend Mikaela who also just happened to be Prettiest Girl In School Mikaela (which was so not subjective), who was also Parents-Approved Mikaela, and Bad-Girl With A Juvi Record Which Was Actually Kind Of A Turn-On Mikaela, and Bee's Official Mechanic When Ratchet Couldn't Be Bothered Mikaela. Perfect Mikaela. So goddamn perfect Mikaela. And for this one minute, So Goddamn Perfect Mikaela was making out with Sam Witwicky. Sam didn't believe in the word 'impossible', anymore. (Though saving the world alongside giant alien robots probably contributed to this factor.)

He didn't even believe in a god anymore. Just Mikaela and Mikaela's lips and tongue and teeth---oh, godthatIdon'tbelieveinanymore---against his own, with her lazing on top of him which made the uncomfortable stand the tree trunk made against his back all the more worth it.

And, then it stopped. Sam blinked hazily, moving forward to catch her mouth to his again, but she planted a hand firmly against the base of his throat to keep him down. She had that look in her eyes, the relaxed, at-peace look she had when she was about to spout something sappy but appreciated, like I love you, and ope, she's starting to speak; here it comes:

"How about we just be friends?"

Minute over. And this is the next.

The next minute that everything happy and good and great just shatters and falls away into the darkest dark imaginable and you realize just how false a sense of security that was and you'll NEVER trust anyone again AND THE WORLD JUST HATES YOU AND WANTS TO SCREW YOU OVER. OH, YEAH. LIFE SUCKS.

"You're...breaking up with me?"

Mikaela smiled and shrugged and managed to look sheepish. "When you think about it, it's not like it was official or anything. You never really asked me out."

"Uh, it's kind of implied as 'official' when you're making out with me on top of my car in the sunset! And you want us to just be friends? The next thing I know, you'll be saying 'it's not you, it's me' or some kind of--"

"Well, it's not you or me," Mikaela cut in quickly. She ducked her head. "Well, maybe it's a bit of both...But mostly, it's him." She moved her chin in the direction to the right of them.

Sam followed Mikaela's nudge to the parking lot to the side of the grass area that they were lounging in. Bumblebee's yellow pain shined in compliment to the sun. Sam's gaze snapped back to his girlfriend---ex? Just-a-friend? Mikaela.

"You're breaking up with me for my car?

"Sammy." Mikaela sighed, sitting up and gently taking his hands into hers to signal for him to follow her in the motion. Then she cupped his face in those same hands and looked into his eyes. "I'm breaking up with you for you and your car.

"...What?"

She sighed again, now standing and Sam quickly scrambled to his own feet, braced as if he was ready to chase if she started running.

"Look, remember that time when you met my dad and he gave you that 'don't break my little girl's heart' speech?"

"And showed me his gun collection? And that one six-foot-deep hole in your guys's backyard where he could bury someone and no one would know? Which was only a small portion of the very detailed plan he concocted if he had to kill someone and get away with it? Yeah, that was kinda hard to forget---and you still owe me for leaving me alone with him! And despite the threat on my life, you're still breaking up with me?!"

"Oh, no, no, it's fine. You're perfectly safe. He actually likes it when I'm the one to do the dumping---"

"For my car!"

"You and your car, Sam."

"You're breaking up with me!"

"Oh, you're not even that upset about it."

"Really? Cuz I feel like I'm freaking out and I don't even know why, yet!"

He jumped as Mikaela's hand suddenly slapping down on his shoulder and gripped, as if to hold him in place. The meekness was gone from her eyes and now she just looked serious and tired. "Look, death-threats from an over-protective father don't even compare to death-threats from a jealous robot-in-disguise-of-a-camaro."

Sam blinked. Eyes darted to Bee. Back to Mikaela. Blinked again. "...He...?"

She released his shoulder now that he'd stopped spazzing. "Yeah. Even made sure he was holding his gun while doing it. I mean, he didn't refer to it or anything, but just having it out made a point."

"...Wow. Uh, sorry."

"Don't be. You just got dumped by the hottest girl in school."

"Right. Uh...so...I guess the ride home'll be--"

"Awkward? Don't worry about it. I made plans."

On cue, a silver-colored jeep wrangler with a pink interior and no driver pulled into the parking lot, stopped at the curve nearest to them, and honked twice.

"Later, Sam!" And Sam's now-ex/now-just-a-friend turned heel and headed towards the vehicle, opening the driver door with a sly, "Hey, chick," for greeting and that was the last of her Sam heard before the jeep sped away.

It took the Witwicky a while to process what had just happened. Then, he followed Mikaela's footprints in the grass to the parking lot just a certain yellow camaro skidded to a clean stop where the silver wrangler had once been.

Sam leaned back on the heels of his feet and stuck his hands in his pockets, amused. "You threatened her?"

The driver door popped open and Sam could hear the radio playing: "Despite the lies that you're makin', your love is mine for the takin'."

Sam rolled his eyes, getting in. "Uh-huh. Arcee was in on it, too, I'm guessing."

"She posed the concept, as well as planned it," Bumblebee answered and waited for Sam's seatbelt to click into place before moving.

"...D'you think this is revenge for when she first arrived and I--?"

"Yes."

"I figured."

And surprisingly enough, he really wasn't that upset over it.


woo! thanks so much for reading! but...i do have a question that has to do with the movie.

so...y'know the canister-things that the "bad people" in the movie used to spray that weird stuff on Bee to immobilize him (yes, poorly worded, sorry... u.u)? What are they called (the canister-things)?

ANYTHING on it is appreciated. name or reference sites or whatever else. please help!
(thanks for reading, again!)