Disclaimer: I take no ownership of the Teen Titans.
Thieves Guild Roll Call.
Red X: Expert thief. Leader.
Jinx: Magick expert.
Blackfire: Air Support.
Mammoth: Strong Arm.
Ravager: Swordsman. Second in command.
Summary: After surprisingly failing a robbery, Red X decides that if he's going to go up against the world, then he'd better have back up. Includes Jinx! Blackfire! Mammoth! And Ravager!
Well that didn't go how I wanted it to. Now I'm gonna need a new bike.
Oh, hi. The names X, Red X. And I just had my ass handed to me by the Teen freaking Titans. 'How did such a tremendous tragedy happen, oh dashing and mysterious thief boy?'you ask? Well it turns out the Titans having been training their collective asses off, which means it's gotten even HARDER to take them down; even with the new xenothium belt. They've become coordinated to the point of ridiculousness. (Is that even a word?)
If this isn't the low point of my career, I don't what is.
There I was; Just minding my own business while I was robbing the Independent Bank of Jump city, when out of nowhere I get hit by a damn starbolt from the side. When I regained my senses, it was just in time for the Titans to corner me... and... well you get the idea. Finally, I had had enough and summoned my X-cycle and set the self destruct sequence. That had bought me enough time to get out of there... as well as blowing Cyborg's T-car to Hell.
That had almost made getting away empty handed worth it.
Okay Red, stop your bitching and figure out how you're gonna deal with this. Let's figure out how they beat me, so I can create a countermeasure to beat them.They came at me as a team. I can beat each one of them individually, but nowadays, when they come at me all together... and that's when It hit me.
Assemble a team that can take on the Titans and walk away form it. Hell, maybe I could even dethrone those Brotherhood of Evil assholes.
Time to pay Grant a visit.
Now, for those of you who don't know who Grant is, let me tell you. Grant Wilson, aka Ravager... and aka the son of Slade. Now, now, don't get your pants in a twist. Grant isn't nearly as much of a dick-hole as his dear ol' dad.
Grant and me go back a ways- before I got the Red X suit- me and him worked together once to take on a security firm and walk away with their prize camera prototype (THAT got us a lot of cash, let me tell ya...). Anyways, me and Ravager hit it off and became pals, sometimes we even use each other as key sources of information. In fact, he was the one who told me about Robin's Red X suit.
That particular slip of his tongue was his way of getting back at Robin, since he knew I'd pull it off. Apparently Grant got pissed that his ol' daddio wanted to make the boy blunder his apprentice (not that Grant wanted anything to do with his dad, it's that family just makes you do weird things sometimes...). Despite knowing that he only told me this out of radical family dysfunction, I went for it and have not regreted it to this day.
WHY has no one heard of Ravager before now you ask? Simple. Grant doesn't like attention. He's a very low laying mercenary. Not that Ravager doesn't have the skill to be an A-list villain; in truth, his skill level is close to Slade's... but when he has a sword in his hand, I have yet to someone else who could hack and cut as fine as he can.
He's also a walking swiss army knife.
The place where Grant lives is pretty dull, just a plain old four story apartment building with a a parking garage. He really likes being unnoticed, if you weren't able to tell already. Oh! Speaking of the parking garage, there goes his car. Now Grant has one bitchin' 1969 black Trans Am. Ravager has had this car go through so many secret upgrades that he could storm Titans Tower with it and win. He loves this car, he loves it so much that I think if it was physically possible, he'd probably make sweet slow love to it. This car can do some pretty freaky crap too. Like all the weapon systems, microwave, and mini-fridge have the same control panel.
Hell, I once saw it sprout wings and fly.
So I do the rational thing and jump off the building I'm currently standing on, and teleport down on top of his roof silently. Now, I don't know how he does it, but Grant has this insane ability to detect me whenever I come within at least 20 yards. My attention is suddenly brought to my now ringing cell phone, "Hello?" I answer.
"Get off my damn roof." See? Told ya.
So I slipped into the unrolled window on the right side, took a seat and buckled up (a necessity when Grant drives). Now Grant isn't one for those elaborate costumes that most people in the hero/villain community wear (today he was wearing jeans, t-shirt, and leather jacket for all you detail freaks out there). He's what I like to call a 'plain clothes villain.' It just makes it that more surprising when he opens up a can of whupass.
I'm one of the few people alive to see Slade without his mask, and let me tell ya, Grant looks almost exactly like him. All you have to do is picture Slade's face, subtract about 30 years, lose the eye patch and goatee, and you got Grant. Freaky.
"So what brings you here?" Straight to the point; classic Grant. He doesn't have a subtle bone when it comes to conversation.
"I just had my ass handed to me by the damn Titans." I answered with a tired sigh.
"I know, I was listening to the police scanner. I was going to see if you needed help."
"I don't know what is up with them lately, but it has become damn near impossible to take them on simultaneously. Their teamwork has gotten to the point where I suspect telepathic communication."
Grant took one sharp look at me. I am very rarely this... humble (how I hate that word); and a more efficient Teen Titans meant bad news for any future plans of everybody in the villain community. "Please tell me you have a plan, because you know I'm not a good schemer." It's true, Grant couldn't devise a plan to get out of a paper bag. Another reason old Pop-eye doesn't love him.
"Well, I have an idea... but I'm gonna need both your help... and your opinions."
"Very well." He said immediately. Ravager trusts me for some reason, maybe because I'm one of the few people in his life that hasn't stabbed him in the back. Honor amongst thieves.
"I want to make my own team." I said bluntly.
Grant nearly swerved the car off the road.
"And what precisely gave you this idea?" He asked after regaining his control (both mentally and automobily. Wait, is that even a word? I need a damn thesaurus.).
"Because, my friend, to beat the Titans, you have to beat them at their own game."
"And that would be?" He asked dryly.
"What is the Titans greatest strength? Their teamwork. Their determination. Their friendship. If we assemble a team with these qualities, we'd have a shot at being the only bad guys in the city that they couldn't bring down." I said hoping my little speech hit home.
"You wish to make this team... from villains? As a whole, we tend to be loners and very anti-social. What you have planned will not be easy." Grant said immediately going into what I like to call 'Ravager-mode.' He may suck at strategy, but he does know how to assess situations, and people. That's why I went to him.
"Well, we start out picturing out who would be the perfect foil to each Titan." I speculated. "Me for Robin."
"And me for Beast Boy." He said after thinking a moment.
Beast Boy? "Beast Boy?"
"My primary fighting skills involve blade work and battle adaptation. Beast Boy can transform into various animals with claws and teeth. I am the only choice." He said with finality.
"Okay, okay, okay." I murmured. "What about those three Hive students? Jinx, Mammoth, and Gizmo?" I asked thinking of the possibilities.
"Yes to Jinx and Mamoth, but no to Gizmo." Grant said after taking a rather alarming swerve onto the express way.
"Why no Gizmo?"
"Gizmo is an unprofessional ten year old nuisance who I wouldn't trust enough to polish my boots. Besides, would you really want to spend everyday with that annoying little turd?"
Hell no. "Okay, sooo that would be Jinx for Raven, and Mammoth for Cyborg?"
"Precisely." He said as he passed paused long enough to flip a cop the bird and outrun him in 54 seconds. Grant must be feeling like taking it slow today.
"Okay, what about Starfire? Who do we get for her? No one is really coming to mind." I said after running through a bunch of bad guys that I knew in my head.
"Easy. Her sister Blackfire. Although we may have to go off planet to get her... as well as break her out of a prison." Said Grant.
"The cutie has a sister? And how would we get off planet?"
"Blackfire is the older sibling, and the Trans Am has spaceship mode along with a hyperdirve." He spoke as if he was talking about the weather.
... The HELL?!
"Hold on. I'm still trying to deal with the fact your car can fly in outer space. Where the hell did you even geta hyperdrive?" I asked trying to figure out my friends weird ass mind.
"It involved two six packs of root beer, one slingshot, and a panicky corporate secretary." Strange things happen when Grant undertakes a mission. A lot.
Moving on. "Okay, so where are we going?"
"Drakham Penitentiary. We're going to break out Jinx and Mammoth."
"Ok. So, smash and grab or sneak and swipe?" I asked.
"Hmm, I don't think we'll have time to make a plan to sneak in, so I guess we should do a smash and grab."
After that, things went into a comfortable silence. I began to think what the gloriously bootilicius Starfire's sister might look like. I'm thinking nice loooong legs with a firm bottom and a rack t-
"We're here." Grant said pulling on his Ravager mask and setting the car into park.
Now this mask of his is a bit creepy for those of you who see it for the first time, it's this pitch black full face mask with these big blood red eyes. To make it even more creepy is the fact that Grant splotched red paint all over to look as if it had been sprayed with blood. Intimidation: it's an art unto itself.
I was about to make a clever remark when Grant pulled out a rocket launcher from his trunk. I shut my mouth real quick.
"I thought we were just gonna smash, not make things go kablooey."
He just gave me a blank stare. Smartass. Ravager took up aim, and fired.
Getting my ass handed to me by the Teen Titans, coming up with an idea that might not work, getting Grant involved, and now I'm helping fugitives, both here and somewhere in space, to escape.
God, I love my life.
A/N: Ohhhhhhhhhh, I'm gonna have fun with this one.