Disclaimer: This is a hobby, not a profession. No owneth ANYTHING reffered to including that of 'Thank You For Smoking', KHR, and all the other stuff I can't be bothered to remember.

Dedication: Tsuki, for being a constant sexy party. Ain't no smexy party like a Tsuki smexy party! (Oh god what have I said?!)

Once upon a time in a land found far, far, away, there lived a very pimpin' boy.

This boy had the charisma of a young, buck Nick Naylor and secreted more sex pheromones then a hot little bunny in heat.

At first, these attractive aspects of his were hidden under a feeble, weak and easily terrified persona. This boy of the past had no friends, no grades and no love.

So what exactly caused this dramatic change?

It happened one day, long ago, when this boy was a mere thirteen years old. It started with a tiny baby who appeared in his quaint little town. Now, this baby was no ordinary specimen of human baby, not one someone would expect to say the least, for with him, he carried a great and heavy aura of experience. Experience in the art of killing and manipulation, that is.

This baby, henceforth he will be referred to as Reborn, had targeted this pathetic child, in hopes of creating a strong and determined mafia leader. Crazy as it sounds; he had seen it work with his former student, who was now as charming, powerful and hot as they come.

So, Reborn manipulated his way into the boy's family, and from there, manipulated others into forming a larger, and much sexier family.

Over time, through many difficult trials and various sequences of child abuse, the Vongola leader was born.

Due to the constant admiration from friends and family, the boy's ego grew alongside his strength.

With this new-found sense of self-esteem, the boy quickly mastered the art on manipulation and abused the crucial bonds that had been formed between himself and his guardians.

Now, our dear old mafia leader was not known for his strength in staying on task, but much rather for the boredom he experienced rather quickly in random situations.

Gokudera had been his first. It wasn't hard to manipulate him at all actually. All the boy had to do was say 'jump' and jump he did.

Yamamoto had been his second, only shortly after his spontaneous relationship with Gokudera. His manipulation hadn't been much harder, for it lasted a day and they had been a little 'tipsy' according to Reborn's official records.

Ryohei Sasagawa had been promised a new member to his boxing team, and was EXTREMELY unable to refuse such an offer.

The record for his shortest relationship had been with Lambo, for it lasted a mere 5 minutes and things have been awkward between young Lambo and his boss ever since.

Hibari and Mukuro had proven a bit more of a challenge. It wasn't so much as they were unwilling, so much as it was the fact they weren't willing to share and thus the boy got caught in the middle, in more ways then one, due to their rather, competitive natures.

Another thing the boy was acknowledged for was his creative thinking and writing skills. This tactic was most commonly seen in his leaving letters.

As my right-hand man, I'm sure you'll understand.

I don't want things to be awkward, for you know how Gokudera can be…

I was practicing my boxing with a kangaroo and it beat me, so I figured it would make a better team member for you. His name is Gary.

Whenever you find this, these are new horns to replace the old ones. I'm sorry.

So it really came as no surprise to Hibari and Mukuro, well aware of their boss' exploits, to find a note on the pillow where he should have been laying.

What did surprise them, however, was the note's content.

"Gone… to find… a new… Sexy Party?"

To this day, Vongola tenth has remained an elusive creature, but many report sightings in the Cavallone family area and the Varia mansion, where sexy parties roll 24/7.

And everyone, bar the Vongola family who wept daily for their promiscuous leader, lived happily ever after.

I find that when I try comedy, my writing ability reverts to that of a two year old. Oh well.