Title: Five Times Hibari Tried to get rid of Ryohei Permanently
Universe: Reborn
Theme/Topic: As stated above
Rating: PG-13
Character/Pairing/s: lightly RyoxHiba
Warnings/Spoilers: Vague references and conjectures regarding Volumes 16 and 17, but nothing really concrete.
Word Count: 1,060
Summary: Ryohei is the cat that keeps coming back. Hibari deals.
Dedication: swinku- Spreading the love of RyoHiba? XD
A/N:
I FAIL SO HARD. But I'm working on getting back to Reborn, just give me time, okay? OKAY!? I'm sorry.
Disclaimer: Not mine, though I wish constantly.
Distribution: Just lemme know.


1.

The first time he flattens Sasagawa Ryohei it is purely instinctual; Ryohei charges at him waving a flyer for the boxing club and so Hibari decides to very simply kill him, whoever he is.

Three sharp blows to the head, chest and kidneys send Sasagawa to the ground; Hibari doesn't even bother breaking stride on his way to the Disciplinary Council Chambers.

Small fish are of no interest to him; he leaves Sasagawa to die in the dirt alone and pathetic.

Except Sasagawa doesn't die, in fact he doesn't even lie there for longer than five seconds.

"Amazing!" Ryohei shouts suddenly, and wobbles to his feet again. His head is swelling and blood is dribbling from the corner of his mouth; he is a disgrace to look upon despite the fact that it is miraculous he is not unconscious at this point. He takes after Hibari with stars in his eyes; he's still waving the boxing club flyer. "You moved so fast I could barely see it!"

It's unexpected enough an action that even Hibari is momentarily surprised to find that the idiot still has the faculties to get up, let alone give chase. That surprise quickly turns into irritation.

"C'mon," Sasagawa prompts, eagerly, "we've got a match coming up soon, so please lend us your…"

Hibari hits him in the face again, then across the head once more, for good measure.

Ryohei is knocked to the ground for the second time that day; Hibari is fairly certain that given the blunt force trauma to the head, the idiot is dead now. Hibari continues on his way to his office.

But just as he's about to reach the door, a voice calls out, "Sweet! Then I'll see you tomorrow afternoon?"

It is loud and cheerful and only vaguely delirious, and when Hibari turns around Ryohei is still on the ground, except his arm is sticking up now; he's flashing Hibari a very energetic thumbs up.

Hibari makes a mental note to aim solely for Sasagawa's vital organs next time, as blows to the head clearly have no effect.

2.

The second time Hibari decides Sasagawa Ryohei has to die is a first for him, as Hibari has never decided someone should have to die more than once before.

It is an unprecedented case in all his time as the head of the Disciplinary Committee.

"We're a team now, right, cloud-guy?" Ryohei barks, and puts a hand on Hibari's shoulder cheerfully. "We have to train together and make each other stronger! So please come to the boxing club and…"

This time Hibari knows better and goes for Sasagawa's vital organs only; he beats Ryohei unconscious and instructs his henchmen to put the body in a trash bag and throw it into the river since having someone die on school grounds would be troublesome.

His underlings do as they are told and Hibari goes back to work without giving Ryohei another thought.

But two weeks later it turns out that Sasagawa Ryohei isn't dead; he limps back to Namimori grinning and filthy.

"Niisan, where have you been all this time?!" Kyoko demands. "I was worried!"

Ryohei just laughs and shoots her a thumbs up. "Cloud-guy sent me on a top notch training expedition into the wild!" he tells her. "I fought with bears and caught fish with my own two hands!"

"Oh," Kyoko says cheerfully, when she hears. "I guess that's okay, then. But next time tell me first!"

Ryohei assures her that it's all for the greater good; he is ten times stronger than he used to be now, and it is all thanks to Hibari's concern (since they're a team and stuff).

That day, several members of the Disciplinary Committee are forcibly stripped of their ranks for failing to fulfill their duties as dictated to them by the Committee Head. They are extricated from the chambers soonafter.

When Ryohei finds their bodies lying strewn about the schoolyard sometime later, he cheerfully asks them if they are in training with Hibari as well, and would they like to join the boxing club?

3.

"Maybe you shouldn't bother Hibari-san anymore," Tsuna suggests gently as Ryohei rolls himself onto campus in the wheelchair he will spend the next six weeks in.

Ryohei only laughs at Tsuna, because the younger boy clearly does not understand the bond of men yet. But that's okay, he's still young and thus can learn.

"Pushing me off that cliff is his way of telling me to get stronger!" Ryohei assures Sawada cheerfully. Then, he pumps his fist in the air. "Yosh, I have to train hard! That way, the next time he does it, I definitely won't break any limbs!"

Tsuna decides against reminding Ryohei that Hibari had broken his limbs before pushing him off the cliff; he figures that as long as the older boy is alright for now that's all that matters.

In the meantime, Hibari scowls and scouts out the locations of several other cliffs.

Bigger ones.

4.

Ten years into a future where the Vongola rings no longer exist, Sasagawa Ryohei has been sent on a suicide mission.

"You did what to niisan?!" Tsuna gapes.

Hibari calmly cleans blood off of his weapons. "It's a small sacrifice," he tells Tsuna blandly. "While he creates a diversion I will take back my school."

Hibari is right about that last part at least; they do take the school back.

Ryohei, however, manages to return from his mission in one piece (if not slightly bruised and bloody).

"Kyo-chan!" he shouts around a mouthful of his own blood, and jogs down the corridors towards Hibari like a faithful pet. "I got you the pizzas you wanted!"

5.

Ten years into a distant future that they all had to save ten years before, Hibari Kyouya tells Sasagawa Ryohei to "Leave and die somewhere quietly. Alone."

Ryohei only laughs at him and knows what Hibari is really saying; he hooks an arm over Hibari's shoulder and asks if he was missed while he was away overseas.

Hibari wordlessly breaks his nose and proceeds to throw Ryohei off of a cliff that is much higher than the one he'd found back when they were in middle school.

And in this wonderful world that they all worked so hard to restore together, Ryohei is fairly certain that what Hibari really means when he does that is "yes."

END