Disclaimer- I don't own any characters. Everyone belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.
"Why? Why do I have to do the hard work around here? It seems that Orochimaru-sama is incapable of doing anything himself. Stupid, paralyzed, transvestite! Now he wants a female body. Shit! Now the small amounts of finances we have will have to be spent on Maxipads."
Kabuto angrily picked up a rock and threw it into a nearby tree. There was a rustling of leaves as something gray jumped from the tree. Kabuto looked at the small creature, a large smile appearing.
It was a small, gray kitten. By the look of its fur, it was most likely a stray. The cat walked up to Kabuto and circled his legs, rubbing against him. Its purrs were loud and loving.
Kabuto picked the kitten up and walked back to the hideout, completely forgetting his initial mission.
Kabuto walked to Orochimaru's side. The snake charmer stopped his work as he heard the purring coming from Kabuto.
"Well Kabuto. I knew you liked me, but not that much."
"That's not me, sir."
"Then what the devil is it?"
Kabuto pulled the cat from his tan waist rap and held him out for Orochimaru to see.
"A cat? You imbecile! I'm allergic to cats!"
"Come on. It'll be perfect for you."
Kabuto set the cat on the floor and watched it circle Orochimaru's legs.
"See, it likes you."
"Damn it, Kabuto! The fur ball's humping me!"
Orochimaru kicked the cat away and turned his gaze to Kabuto.
"It's not his fault. Please Orochimaru-sama, can we keep it?"
Orochimaru growled. He didn't like it, but Kabuto did deserve a reward for hid hard work during the chunin exams.
"Fine, but on several conditions. You have to feed it, groom it, and if I find that that thing crapped in my shoes, it's gone!"
"Thank you, Orochimaru-sama!"
Kabuto ran off with the cat in tow.
'Shoot, he forgot to get a body.' Orochimaru sighed. He wanted to be a girl again.
"You're hungry, aren't you?"
Kabuto looked around his room for food, but the only thing he saw was a candy bar.
"I don't know what you eat, but this should sustain you for the night."
Kabuto unwrapped the chocolate bar and let the cat eat it while he crawled into bed. He had just made a very bad mistake.
Orochimaru was about to enter Kabuto's room to scold him for forgetting a body, but stopped when he heard crying. He opened the door to see Kabuto kneeling over the cats dead body. He saw the chocolate.
"You killed it, didn't you?"
"Yes." Kabuto cried harder.
Orochimaru suddenly got a less than brilliant idea.
"Kabuto, we can use the cat as my new body.'
"Are you sure?"
"Yes! Do it now!"
Still mourning the loss of his beloved, Kabuto made the appropriate hand signs to activate the jutsu. There was a flash of light and smoke. When everything cleared, Orochimaru was standing in the body of a cat.
"This doesn't seem cool anymore."
Orochimaru looked up at Kabuto, feeling very small.
"Oh well. Kabuto, get me some catnip!"
I hope you all liked it. Kabuto seems stupid doesn't he?
Anyway, please review. You people are like a second family. I need to feel loved!