A/N: This is my first House fic, so I'd appreciate feedback. Constructive criticism is welcome, pure flaming isn't. I've done my best to ensure there are no grammar errors, but if you notice any that I keep making then do let me know.
Also, I feel it's necessary to mention I'm from the UK, and so, there may be some words I've used that are spelt differently or those from the US/Canada are unfamiliar with. I apologise if this is the case, I've really tried to make sure this hasn't happened, but I don't know every little language difference. Disclaimer: Usual stuff; I don't own House MD or the characters.
Spoilers: There may be some minor ones but none that jump out at me if you've seen Season 1, 2 & 3. Some Cuddy stuff taken from 2 and 3, but that's about it.
We all have our addictions.
What's important to remember is that those who hide them are the ones that are considered to have problems. Flaunt them, and chances are you'll be tolerated. Yes there will be whispers about you behind your back; maybe even comments to your face, but no one will really do anything. The odd person may try and stir a little trouble for you, but they will never win. After all, if you're open about it, then is it really something to worry about? Surely not. Of course, it must be made clear that those who admit they have a problem, an addiction, and reveal it to others obviously need help. However, for them to do this, they must have hidden it at one stage and therefore, they are exceptions to the rule.
Am I making sense?
Let me try and explain myself a little better. The woman in her late forties who smokes a cigarette whilst sitting at the bus stop everyone morning; does she have an addiction? It's only one cigarette, therefore not a problem. No one stops to consider that maybe it's her fifth cigarette already that morning. That her wheezing is not just the sign of a mild chest infection, but an indicator of a more sinister problem such as lung cancer. She herself doesn't consider the implications of her actions, not bothering to think about the effects of passive smoking on people around her. Ultimately, that's the problem. Unless the habit in question has a blatant, obvious, and direct effect on the person in question; it isn't a problem. Not really. It's why crack heads are viewed with disgust, as they cheat, thieve and lie to score again, again, and again.
It's also why people get away with their addictions every goddamn day of their lives.
Thought they do not realise it, I have spent a great deal of time studying those around me whom I work with on a daily basis, discovering what it is that they're addicted to. Unlike Dr. House, I choose not to reveal my musings. After all; that's the game he plays. It seems logical to start with him. Vicodin. Everyone knows it's what he takes, but no one stops to consider the deeper problem. Sure; he's hooked on Vicodin. Why? He hates pain, this we all know. What everyone else doesn't know, or chooses to pretend doesn't exist, is that as well as the Vicodin, he's dependant upon the numbness it brings him, and not just for the physical pain. I have absolutely no idea what demons House has in his past, and I no longer wish to. That ship sailed a long time ago, and it's no longer a concern of mine. Not really, anyway.
Doctor Wilson, one of House's few allies has an even subtler addiction. In fact, if it wasn't for House's smart comments, I doubt even I would have figured it out. Helplessness. Specifically; his helpless dying cancer patients. Only the female ones as far as I know, but isn't that bad enough in itself? When someone is in need, Wilson can be counted on to fall utterly in love with them and make it all better. At least for the duration of the time he spends in bed with them. If they get better; then he moves on. If they don't; he's a failure, as a man and as an oncologist. Simple as.
Now for Chase. Robert Chase, my one time fuck buddy [though we haven't been there for a while and his habit. Sex. Chase loves sex, with who it doesn't matter, so long as it's a beautiful woman or he has his beer goggles on. I'm not sure where exactly I fit in, it's in neither category really, but then, I've always been the odd one out. Whilst he may have thought he was in love with me; he wasn't. It was the sex. Chase needs sex; he wants sex; and he loves sex. Somehow, I don't see him changing anytime soon. His addiction is one that society accepts to a certain extent, seeing him as a sort of loveable rouge character; a man who loves the ladies. So he doesn't have a problem at all. Silly me for saying so.
Moving onto Foreman, big, bad, tough guy Foreman. I must admit, he took me a while to work out. Not as long as Wilson, I'll give him that, but still; long enough. Foreman is all about success; hence his enthusiasm to reach the top of his career. In his mind reaching the top, becoming the best doctor there is, having talent far beyond the skills House effortlessly possesses and basically, becoming medicine's new God is what he lives for. It's why he saw no problem with screwing me over for the article I wrote. He took the credit because hey, he needs it. He craves it. Bastard.
Let's not forget the Dean of Medicine herself; Dr Lisa Cuddy. She'd hate me for saying so, but hers is the most obvious of the lot. There's no hidden reasons as there are with House and his pills, but rather, something which she flaunts at every available opportunity. Power. Control. Namely over her employees, but I'm guessing over everyone she thinks she can get away with barking orders at. If I'm honest, it is this one that annoys me the most. What right does she have to make those around her feel so damn stupid for getting it wrong sometimes? It's easy enough for her, cooped up in her cosy little office, signing paperwork and letting the rest of us make life or death decisions. She only argues with them half the time to make herself feel a little better, think that she is making a difference. It's beyond pathetic, it really is, but the less said about her, the better. Really.
Whilst all these people are so very different, they all have one thing in common. What they do effects those around them, and always will. House lets his Vicodin make tough decisions for him. Wilson tears apart the cancer survivors who believe he is their hero; for saving their life and for fucking them. Chase is a heart breaker. Foreman steps on anyone he things is going to hinder his chances of reaching the top. Cuddy controls staff, patients, and probably her family and friends. If she has any left that like her, that is.
Don't worry; I'm getting to the point. You're probably thinking that I'm some jumped up hateful person who believes the rule doesn't apply to her.
The difference is; my 'problem' doesn't hurt anyone but me. It destroys me, inside and out, but that's about the extent of it's damage. How do I know this? Because as House and co. believe, my urge is not to fix those who are broken. That's something I do to detract attention from the real thing, as well as trying to be a positive influence on people's lives. No. I, Allison Cameron, have a much more simple need.