Title: Tales From The House That Jack Built

Author: Raindrops on Roses

Rating: M
Category: Humor, Alternate Universe
Spoilers: None.

Fandom: Stargate SG-1/Atlantis
Pairing: None.

Word Count: 441

Disclaimer: I own neither SG-1 nor Atlantis. It's very disappointing.

Summary: Jack introduces Daniel to his friend Murray.

"Danny!" Daniel winced. He hated being called Danny; he wasn't sure if Jack knew that, but his guess would be 'absolutely'. The man was worse than Rodney for getting under people's skin.

Though no one was quite as irritating as Rodney.

He turned around. "Mr. O'Neill," he said. "I'm really sorry about the other night--John and Cameron came over and we totally lost track of time."

Jack waved that off expansively. "Don't worry about it. At least I didn't have to go replace the fuses again."

"So, um... what did you want to talk..." Daniel blinked. A very large black man stood in his path, gazing at him calmly. 'This is generally the part where you run away.'

Daniel hated that snide little voice. It sounded just like Rodney, and it was the cause of so many of his hospital trips. How was it that Rodney could say anything and nothing ever happened to him, but Daniel always managed to piss off the wrong people?

"Danny, I'd like you to meet my friend Murray. You can call him T."

'Is his first name "Mister"?' Daniel smiled nervously. "Nice to meet you... T." The hulking form nodded slightly.

"T, this is one of my tenants, Daniel Jackson." Jack clapped a hand onto Daniel's shoulder. "Danny here has a bit of a problem with the neighborhood bullies."

An eyebrow arched. Daniel never knew someone who didn't smile could be so expressive. "Which one, O'Neill?" a rumbling voice asked.

"Ah... all of them." Jack sounded embarrassed for Daniel.

"Indeed." T looked at Daniel with an appraising eye.

"I was kinda hoping you'd show him a few things. You know, when to run away, things like that."

"Wait... don't you work at the diner down the street?" Daniel blurted.

"Best pancakes in the city," Jack nodded. "But T here also teaches some classes in his spare time."

'In what--how to bench-press an SUV?' Daniel realized, by the looks on the two men's faces, that he'd said that out loud.

He winced and closed his eyes. A laugh caused him to crack one open again.

"See what I mean, T? Kid needs some help."

A smile finally cracked T's face. "I shall see you on Saturday, Daniel Jackson."

"Uh... okay." Why did he have a bad feeling about this?

Oh, yeah--because it was Jack. The only possible way it could be worse was if Rodney had been involved.

"Great! Thanks, T." Jack smiled. His friend nodded gravely and left.

"Uh, Jack?" Daniel asked past the sinking feeling in his stomach. "What kind of 'classes' am I taking?"

"Oh, that?" Jack replied innocently. "No big deal. T teaches classes in Tae Kwon Do."

Daniel groaned. Just what he needed. Classes in how to get his butt kicked.

Oh, for cryin' out loud.