Alright kids, here's your epilogue. It's very hard to say goodbye to Claire. She's become a good friend over these past couple of weeks. I may write some more of her in the future, but right now this is where the story ends.
Thanks again for all your kindnesses, emails, PMs, reviews, and love. Seriously, I never imagined this kind of support when this idea hit me in the middle of the night.
15 years in the future
I haven't looked at this diary in ages, and just sat here the whole afternoon reading through it again. It brings back so many memories of that period of my life when I was growing to know and love Quil. Ah that was such a heartbreaking but beautiful time in my life. Wanting so much... the want practically screams from those last pages. I may have to send the kids over to Emily's for the night - this diary brought those feelings back so strongly.
And memories of our wedding. That was a day of such joyful agony I don't think I could ever forget it. Spending all day being corralled by Sharon, Sarah, Mom, and Emily as they tried to keep my mind off things so I wouldn't run screaming down the street. They took me all the way to Port Angeles to get my hair done just so it would take more time out of the day. It had to be up to show off the back of that dress. That day is all a blur until I get to Quil.
Even after all this time, it's still like that for me. My Quil. Always Quil. Standing there in front of the sunset in his tux - the epitome of tall, dark, and handsome - his eyes never leaving mine as my poor sad Daddy walked me down the aisle to give me away. I should have written down the words we said that day. I can't remember them at all. I only remember the emotion behind them. It made his voice so rough and husky I quivered. It's that same voice that he uses now with me in the night. That part of him that is mine and mine alone. And I quiver today even more than I did that day on the beach.
And now here we are. The house and kids - the whole nine yards. Back again in La Push after being away for so long. Quil was right about me and college - of course he was. Being a therapist with the kids in the hospital, helping them express themselves and their fears through art - it's what I was meant to do. And he was with me every step of the way. Pulling diaper duty while I studied, working to get me through school so we could come back here to where we began. It's a dream come true. I truly have it all.
Jacob came by today. That's what made me pull this diary out and read it. I think the last time we saw him was when he came out to Spokane to visit. I was so round and pregnant with Avery then. Little did we know that my first born child would unlock his spirit.
The look on his face when he first saw her - well now I know what Quil looked like when he saw me all those years ago. At least Avery is 5 now. It might be a little easier on him than it was on Quil. And no one will understand this better than Quil and I do, so there's nothing to explain. Quil told him that it's the hardest road to travel, but is worth every bit of pain in the end. We saw a little bit of that joy on his face when she put her little hands on his cheeks and laughed. It's like watching him come alive after he's been closed off for so long. He's been closed since I've known him.
After reading this, I need to be sure to remind Jacob to get her a diary when she's older. She's going to need it.
So there you are.
Again, many thanks,