Disclaimer - Nothing here is mine except the idea, and I doubt anyone else even wants it.
A/N - This is what happens when you find something crawled out of your loft at 2a.m. and is hiding somewhere in the dark corners of your bedroom. How far do Bumblebee's abilities stretch, anyhow?
Bees of a Feather
© Scribbler, October 2007.
"There it goes! Kill it, kill it!"
Bumblebee looked up from her book. It was a good book, all about Chinese warlords and how they fought off vicious Hun warriors. It was giving her ideas, so she was less than pleased when her reading time was interrupted by her teammates – again. It was like they had radar specifically tuned to tick her off.
Speedy bounced across the sofa cushions, vaulted over her, and ran into the kitchen. Aqualad followed at a more sedate pace. He also didn't have a rolled up newspaper clutched in his hand like a sword.
"What gives?" Bumblebee asked. They were acting even weirder than usual.
Before Aqualad could reply there came a cry, and Speedy sped out of the kitchen less the newspaper. He was covering his head with his hands like he expected a rain of poison darts to follow after. "Shitshitshitshit!"
"Did you get it?" Aqualad asked.
"No, the freaking thing jumped me."
"It jumped you?"
Speedy uncovered his head. "Hey, if you want to go and try your chances, be my guest."
The main doors slid open and Mas y Menos rushed in, each also brandishing a newspaper. They gabbled rapidly in Spanish, zoomed around the room a couple of times, and then came to a stop in front of the other two boys, little foreheads scrunched in confusion.
"By the toaster." Speedy jabbed his thumb over his shoulder. "It's huge."
Mas quailed until Menos, from his vantage point on his brother's shoulders, bopped him on the head with his newspaper. Mas snapped something that didn't lose any indignation for being unintelligible, to which Menos replied with equal irritation. The two fell to rolling around on the floor, hitting each other with their odd weapons and throwing insults like confetti at a wedding.
Speedy thrust his newspaper at Aqualad. "Your turn."
Aqualad raised his hands palm-outward. "No way."
"I said it's your turn." Speedy advanced on him, elbow locked and arm straight as a spear he intended to stab his teammate with.
Bumblebee sighed, slipped a bookmark between the pages of her book and wondered if this was how Raven felt all the time. No wonder she was so cranky.
Buzzing to her feet, Bumblebee picked Mas and Menos up by the scruffs of their necks and, holding them apart, marched to stand between Speedy and Aqualad. Her preferred fighting style meant she had tremendous upper body strength, and dangled each small boy at arm's length. They swung like milk pails across a milkmaid's shoulders.
"Okay," she bellowed, "someone better tell me what's going on, right now, or I'm gonna kick all your butts into next Tuesday."
The boys froze and exchanged the kind of glance developed only by those who lived with a short-tempered superheroine with a good right hook.
Eventually, Speedy grunted something that might've been words.
"What?" Bumblebee barked, like an ancient warlord addressing legions of troops.
"Izzawasp," Speedy said a little louder.
She regarded him for a moment, and then slid her gaze around the others. One by one, they turned their eyes aside. "A wasp. That's what all this ruckus is about."
"To be fair, it's a big wasp…" Aqualad trailed off.
"¡Es una avispa enorme!" Mas squeaked.
Menos nodded emphatically. "¡Es la avispa más grande que hemos visto siempre!"
"You're all running around like scalded cats over one itty bitty wasp? One?" She couldn't quite keep the disgust from her voice. They'd interrupted her relaxing time for that. She'd expected at least an attack on the city, or that Silkie had once again stowed away in someone's bag after their visit to Jump.
Rolling her eyes, she unceremoniously dumped Mas and Menos in Speedy and Aqualad's arms and went into the kitchen.
"Hey, don't you need a rolled up newspaper -?"
The wasp was indeed a big one – probably a queen looking for a place to build a new nest. It droned angrily against the toaster, attacking its own reflection for want of a better opponent. Bumblebee crouched by the counter as it paused to suck up sugary liquid from the many spilled sodas and hot chocolates Titans East had neglected to wipe up since they last cleaned in here. Which, judging by the dirt-encrusted Formica, was some time ago.
"Trust me, girl," Bumblebee murmured, "you don't wanna stick around this place. Too much testosterone, not enough common sense. It's enough to drive a body crazy." She gently used her index finger to chase the wasp into the palm of her other hand. Miraculously, the notoriously aggressive creature sat quietly as she cupped her fingers protectively over it.
All four boys backed away as she passed by to the window. You'd think she was carrying a thermo-nuclear bomb.
"A little help?"
Shoved forward, Aqualad gingerly slid by to open the window. Bumblebee stuck her arms out and opened her hands. The wasp flew away without even trying to get back inside.
"Whoa, it's like it understood you," Speedy marvelled. "Is that some freaky metahuman power you didn't tell us about? Can we start attacking our enemies with swarms of wasps now? Or bees? Or hornets! Yeah hornets would be best. Huge clouds of them, raising stinging terror down on - yow!" He sheltered his head where she'd smacked him.
"Show a little respect, Sassafras."
"Respect? It was just a wasp!"
"And you're just an idiot, but I don't see no-one trying to hit you with a giant newspaper. Now get lost, all of you. I want to finish my book in peace."
They grumbled as they left, though one or two respectful glances came her way. Honestly, they could face down goo monsters, ninja cat-girls and telekinetic psychopaths without breaking a sweat, but ran for cover against a tiny insect with more reputation than poison. For as long as she lived, Bumblebee decided, she would never understand boys.
She settled down and reopened her book, but paused to glance out the window. The wasp, however, was long gone, and only her parting words, spoken at a pitch no ordinary human could comprehend, remained.
"If this is what it's like living with idiot male drones, I think I'll stay celibate."