Can I say just how much I HATE Mary Sue characters? Yes, yes I can ...and here it is!

Oh, I own Nothing of Naruto, unfortunately. And yes, this is a piece of very cracked fiction. To enjoy or not to enjoy, that is the question.


Sasuke was ignoring his fan girl contingent, as per usual. Neither Ino nor Sakura seemed to mind, or even care, so focused were they on their rivalry and their 'love' for him.

It was a beautiful spring day, but this particular young man's mind was not turning to love. Death and destruction were much more prevalent thoughts. He was on his way to the training grounds to meet up with Naruto. There Ino would have to leave them to train with her own team, but that still left the annoying pink-haired chit.

As the young shinobi made a turn down a small side street, and the two fan girls hurried after him, there was a soft whirring noise.

Sasuke stopped. He'd not heard that noise before and it was out of place in the Leaf village, of that he was sure.

"Oh Sasuke!" Both girls cooed, sure he'd stopped to speak with them.

"Shut up." He ordered sharply.

Thus began a small fight behind him as Ino was sure he had ordered Sakura to shut up, not her. And Sakura was just as sure that Sasuke had meant for the loud blond kunoichi to shut up.

A pinhole in the fabric of reality opened up before them, making all three back up a step or more. A swirling void appeared, from which a tight, tone, gorgeous red-head plopped down in the street in front of them.

The woman stood, she was model thin and yet curved in all the right places. She looked around in shock. "Where am I? Oh, you all look familiar. Just like my favorite anime. You're Sasuke, Ino, and Sakura ...right?"

The three ninja stood still, knowing better than to reveal themselves to a potential enemy.

The red-head smiled over at Sasuke. "You know, you're hotter in real life. And I'm the perfect girl for you. I can help you defeat your brother. I have three black belts and am an expert shot. Not to mention having memorized every position in the Kama Sutra."

Three kunai flashed out of no where and buried themselves in her heart and left eye. She fell over dead.

Ino and Sakura gave each other high-fives. "Yeah, like we're going to let THAT happen, witch!"

Sasuke went over and picked up his own kunai, shaking his head sadly. "And how did you expect to help me when you can't even dodge a simple blade?"


I refuse to apologize if you don't like this short, short fic! It makes me giggle. DEATH TO MARY SUE!

Flame me if you want!