Summary: A collection of various and varied stories for Tenth Doctor and Rose, mostly to get the sound bites out of my head so I can sleep at night. Temporarily named for the first story.

Author's Note: I'm writing this for two purposes, first to get the ficlets out of my head, and second to try different styles of story that I don't want to publish individually. For example, chapter one is dialogue-based, chapter two is fluff. Ye Gods. In the style of the TV series, no citrus at all, just good clean fun, except for brownie-related mess.

Important Warning: I have not yet seen either Army of Ghosts or Doomsday, under the theory that if I DON'T KNOW about it, it HASN'T HAPPENED. Infantile, isn't it? But it works… Please don't burst my bubble universe. That tends to make me mad.

Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who, the Tenth Doctor, Rose, or the Tardis. If I did, I would be very happy, extremely broke, and, in all probability, under attack. By, um, other people who might want them. You know who you are. I also don't own any brownies. I'm not sure which I'm most unhappy about.


Story One: Teamwork—Rose, the Doctor, and Jackie attempt to make peanut butter brownies. Why brownies? I like brownies! Don't you? Why peanut butter? It was the first recipe I found.

What to Blame: In the end of episode 1.5, World War Three, Jackie airs the possibility of cooking a meal so that she, Rose, and the Doctor can sit down and actually talk about this whole deal. Rose acts surprised, and when her mother asks, she says something about thinking that "he's finally met his match". I don't think either of them can cook, although I will admit that they managed to get through Christmas dinner without anything exploding (except crackers).

"And don't you dare lick that spoon!"


"That's got raw eggs in it. No, I don't care if you think you're immune to salmonella poisoning—Mum isn't, and if you get to, she'll want to! Give me that!"

"Is the oven supposed to be smoking?"

"Where'd the flour go?"

"You dropped it on the floor, remember? The pair of you!"

"Rose! You just said not to lick the spoon!"

"Mmph shmd—I mean, I said it had raw eggs in it, but on second thought, what do you think these are?"

"The timer?"

"EGGS! I think… Well, all right, this one's the kitchen timer, but THIS is an egg!"

"Yes, it is. So what? Jackie, turn the oven off before it explodes!"

"You cannot make brownies without eggs!"

"Why not?"


"See? Exactly."

"Oh, brilliant, there's flour in the oven. If I turn this back on, you know it's going to go up in flames, right?"

"Hold on, hold on, I know why we need eggs, it's on the tip of my tongue."

"No, Rose, that's chocolate."

"Stupid fire alarm!"

"No problem! There, see, fire alarm off."

"Is there anything that thingamabob can't do?"

"Well…it doesn't make sandwiches."

"You know, that spoon didn't taste like peanut butter. Did anyone put the peanut butter in? I think we're supposed to have peanut butter. Mum, does the recipe say peanut butter?"

"I think so, but now there's butter all over it. Hold on…well, the title says peanut butter… It also says two eggs. Did the eggs get in?"

"Well, Rose has got one egg, and I've got an egg timer…"

"Close enough, pass it here."

"Mum, how much chocolate were we supposed to add? Because I think between the three of us, we've eaten it all."

"You know, I don't think it says anything about chocolate."

"Oh, good."

"Why are chocolate-less brownies good?"

"Because we're not going to have to find more to put in—I don't think there's any on board."

"Yeah, because someone found my stash!"

"…which had been mostly taken out of mine…"

"That's completely beside the point."

"Here, hold this pan a second, sweetheart. Do you think that's eight inches?"

"I dunno, it's just a pan."

"Yep, that's eight inches."

"Ok, good. What does 'add vanilla and then dry' mean?"

"To start with, you could add the vanilla."

"I know that, where is it?"

"Hold on, I think I see something under the table. Could be vanilla. I'll get it."

"Look, Jackie, it says 'then dry ingredients', not 'then dry'."

"Oh, yuck, how'd this egg get under here?"

"Dry the ingredients?"

"No, I think it means add the dry ingredients—you know, flour, salt, and baking powder. Do you think peanut butter counts as dry?"

"Sure, why not? Oh, wait, the recipe says add the peanut butter first."

"Do you think it matters? I already added peanut butter. But there's some left in this jar if you want more—Rose, there's egg on your shirt."

"Shut up! I know! Besides, it goes with the flour in your hair."

"Fire alarm again!"

Surmise: At some point, they're going to have to just go to the store, hopefully after they clean up. Whether or not they burn down the apartment building first is entirely up to chance…

Author's Note: When you read this, keepondreaming16, do thank your sister for coming up with the one thing the sonic screwdriver can't do, and apologize to her for me for stealing her idea and running with it. You probably don't remember, but that time we all watched the first episode over at your house, you asked if there was anything the sonic screwdriver couldn't do, and as I floundered, she hazarded, "Make a sandwich?" You know what? She's right!