I wrote this because I was bored and I couldn't sleep at the glorious time of 4:19am.
Disclaimer: I don't own them. Dick Wolf said he'd set his henchmen on me if I tried to steal them and I value my life.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy.
Olivia couldn't remember the last time she had cried, the last time she had cried properly.
The tightness in her chest, the anxiety in the pit of her stomach, the lump caught in her throat, the tears prickling at her eyes; it had all been there but only a few stray tears had made it down her cheeks, if any.
She had all the emotion but no release, no way to rid her body of it.
She'd sit there for hours, staring blankly ahead, willing her tears to show themselves. She'd bring up memories of her drunken mother, her fist, her face, numerous cases that would hit close to home, the circumstances of her existence; anything to release them through her tears.
She'd play songs that would relate her life like "Because of you" or something by "The Fray" or "The Goo Goo Dolls", anything that if she listened to hard enough she would hear the message but nothing worked.
Take a deep breath, just take a deep breath. She'd used to tell herself. She'd become so good at denying herself the chance to experience grief properly that now she couldn't.
Today at the precinct everything had caught up with her. The emotion, the stress, the tension, the anxiety; whatever you want to call it, it had caught up with her.
She had snapped.
She threw the file down and pushed her chair back. She rested her elbows on her knees, webbed her fingers together slightly and pressed her thumbs to her temples.
She could feel her shoulders shuddering slightly. She thought this was it, this was when she was going to completely breakdown in tears, burst out crying, fall to the floor.
She sat with her shoulders shuddering, feeling the emotion trying to break through her skin.
None of this went unnoticed by the other three detectives as the watched her break.
Olivia quickly got out of her seat and headed for the elevator, not bothering to grab anything other than her wallet. She repeatedly tapped the down button, the need to leave far too great to handle.
After a few seconds the elevator arrived and Olivia got in, watching Elliot come down the corridor looking for her as the doors closed. She sunk into the back corner of the elevator, not yet having shed more than a tear.
"Dammit!!" She yelled before the elevator 'dinged' open and she rushed out. She pulled her keys out of her pocket and ran to her car. She wrenched the door open and got in. She fumbled with her keys for a moment before she managed to start the car. She pulled out into the traffic and headed home. She came to a red light and slammed her fist on the steering wheel, yelling "Dammit!!" once more before continuing her drive.
Now, she sat here with her speakers blearing "With or without you" by U2. She sat staring at the slow drizzle of rain which ran down her window. She sat, letting the moment of absolute misery envelope her in the dim light of the sun barely filtering through the dark storm clouds, creating a grayness which seemed to match the mood. She sat with the tightness in her chest, the anxiety in her stomach, the lump in her throat and the tears threatening to fall.
She sat, waiting.
Then, there was a knock.
Olivia numbly got off her couch and went to the door. She swung it open to reveal Elliot. His hair was wet and left over rain was trickling down his coat. He gazed at her with his amazing blue eyes and smiled warmly.
"Liv, you forgot your coat." He said, holding the item up.
It was these words which made Olivia weak at the knees. She fell forward slightly and held on to Elliot as she began to cry. She cried for her drunken mother, she cried for the beatings she used to receive, she cried for the bruises they would leave, she cried for the cases that hit close to home, she cried for the way she was conceived, she cried for what she could have had, for what her life could have been.
She cried for the fact that she had finally broken, for the relief, for the sadness, for the fact she didn't recent the person she had become, for the fact she was clinging to her best friend, to her partner, to the man she never remembered falling in love with, to the man she wasn't sure loved her back, like he was her life support.
She cried because nothing made sense anymore.
Elliot just held her.
He gently scooped her up and carried her into the apartment, closing the door behind them. He carried her back to the couch and sat down with her in his lap. He rocked her gently and tangled his fingers in her hair.
"It's okay, it's all going t be okay." He whispered as she continued to cry into his chest.
Eventually, Olivia had exhausted her self into even breathing and slight snoring and soon they were both asleep.
This was just a one-shot but I have a feeling I'll get bashed for ending it there.
Drop me a review and let me know if you want me to continue.
Warning: If I do continue it'll only be a two shot.
Pointless piece of info: Only the female duck "quacks".