A/N: (Hides from the shame) Don't hate me… I'm really, really sorry for the long update! But… Christmas is exhausting! But hopefully, at least some people will read this… It's the final chapter of The kiss of death!
8: More Than Love
How could I do this?
That I slept with Jack might be acceptable, but how could I do it so… So poorly hidden? So careless?
I've been in his cabin for almost an hour. I told Will I'd be back up on deck soon. Now he must've finished scrubbing it, it has probably even managed to get dirty again during the time I've been pressed up against Jack like a goddamn whore.
But now, I stumble up onto the deck. My hair is messy, my clothes are wrinkled and my cheeks are probably all blushed.
So, to sum it up: I'm completely seeing-through. I won't have to explain to Will, he'll know for himself. If you can't see it in the way I look, you can see it in my eyes. Will knows me good enough to tell that.
I spot Gibbs standing by the rail and talk to Marty. I walk up to him and try to tap him on the shoulder in a casual way.
Gibbs turns to me. He scans me over, and he can see.
He can see my misery. He can see my tears.
He can see my love. He can see my one, sweaty hour with Jack and he can see that despaired kiss. The kiss of death.
If he can see that, I don't even want to think about how easy it must be for Will to see.
He smiles weakly when he's done seeing. And I don't even have to ask, he answers me before I manage to open my mouth.
"Young Master Turner is in the rum cellar. You probably should talk to him, he looked bloody miserable."
I nod. This is going to be awful.
How do you tell someone you've known for eleven years that you can't be with him anymore?
But despite that, I suddenly realize something I've probably known all along. And Will probably has, too, but I guess he didn't really want to understand it.
Will and me could have been separated at birth. The bond between Jack and me would still be stronger than the one I had with him.
The bonds between Jack and me are unbreakable. There's no point being with Will, because my heart would still be with Jack. All the while.
Because Jack taught me about life. About freedom.
About lust, passion, desire. And he taught me about love that's bigger than love, more than love. He taught me about love that's so big that the world was born from it. About love that made the sky blue, love that filled the ocean with water. Love that's the very spirit of piracy.
The things I feel for Jack can't be described by words. It's so big that it's almost stopped being love.
It's more than love.
And Jack is more than a man.
He's a god.
He's a pirate.
So I just do what I have to do.
With that thought I walk to the rum cellar with determined steps.
Just like it thought, Will is sitting in on the floor in a corner. Empty rum bottles are spread around him, and even though he's feet away, I feel the smell of alcohol and sweat all the way over here.
All the sudden, I'm worried. As far I know, Will hasn't ever been drunk. And he loves me, of course he'll be upset when I tell him that I'm leaving him.
I don't know if he's a good drinker. God, what if he hurts me!
But I still walk up to him. I know that he knows. His face is bitter, and if it has been all opened up during the time I've known him, it's now slammed shut.
He's holding a rum bottle, even though he's already so drunk that he can't make his eyes stay anywhere, they sort of swims around in his head.
My heart is aching, and I just want to reach out and rake my fingers through his hair.
Will. You were so happy, so innocent, so handsome. And now, look at yourself.
Have I made you this way?
I push the thought away. Instead, I decide to make the conversation as shallow as possible.
"Jack won't be happy when he founds out you drank all his rum, " I say, almost jokingly, and crouches down next to him.
"Sure," Will says, his answer clipped. "Poor little Jack Sparrow. As if he didn't already have everything."
I sigh. But before I get a chance to defend Jack, he continues.
"You know," Will says and takes a swig from his bottle, he makes a face when the alcohol burns in his throat. "The only thing I ever tried to do was giving you a good life. A goddamn good life. Everything I've ever done, I did to make you happy.
I nod an almost invisible nod.
"I know that. I'm sorry, Will."
"But now I know," Will rambles on, and I wonder if he even heard that I said something, "that you don't deserve a good life. Because you're a bloody pirate now. A pirate, a filthy little pirate wench that falls in love with pirates. That lets pirates touch her. That…"
I stare at him in shock. I know I deserve every mean thing he can say about me, but it didn't even think he could talk like that.
"I would never be able to be happy with you," I say and try not to sound angry. "I love him. Only him."
"Right. And I don't mean anything to you anymore?"
I open my mouth.
I'm going to honest now. For once.
"You mean a lot to me. But I don't love you."
I barely manage to finish the sentence before he throws the bottle into the opposite wall. Shards of glass and rum fly around the room, and I startle, but Will has a stone face. He just gets up, and he doesn't even look at me.
"To hell with you, Elizabeth."
I don't answer him. And I hadn't answered even if he's stayed. But now, he storms out, and somehow I know it's the last time that I will ever see him.
I don't know how long I'm sitting there. It could have been minutes, hours or months before Jack comes. And I can't help but grinning like a fool when I see him.
It's not my fault. I love him so dreadfully much, and I can't do anything about it.
He sits down next to me. And to be him, he looks very serious.
"Do you know why one of my dinghies and Mr. Turner all the sudden are missing?" He asks.
"No. I have absolutely no idea."
Jack chuckles and kisses my forehead.
"I love it when you lie to me, Lizzie."
My smile gets wider.
"How did he take it?" Jack asks, and then I just have to laugh.
"Have you thought about where all the rum has gone?"
Jack smiles, too. But both our smiles fade away when we look at each other and I grab Jack's hand.
"So now we're…" I say, fumbling for the right word.
"Aye," Jack cuts me off. "We are. And damn you if you disagree with me."
My grip on Jack's hand tightens. As if I'm afraid that he'll disappear.
"I don't. I never would."
Then, Jack's smile returns.
And when he leans in and kisses me, we enter a brand new time.
A brand new life, with just Jack and me. Just the two of us.
Aaaand…. CUT! There's the whole fic! Hope you all enjoyed it. If you did, review and let me know! See ya!