Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney Co. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.
The Kingdom of the Blind
The stars of the program had long departed and the crews were almost done loading the vans when a Porsche pulled into the driveway. Shego claimed it was a business necessity. Clients didn't trust a lawyer who failed to look successful. The car screeched to a halt and Sheki breathed a quiet, "Uh-oh."
The green woman went immediately to Sheki and Hana, "Where's Jane?"
"She is with my mother," Hana said quickly, "I will go and bring her."
"No wait! I want to-" "Damn, how does she disappear like that?" "Okay, young lady," she asked, turning back to Sheki, "what is going-"
Jerry Billings, meanwhile, had guessed the identity of the driver and started walking over. "Sharon O'Ceallaigh?" he called.
"Jerry Billings, glad to finally meet you."
Shego looked puzzled, "You've talked with him on the phone," Sheki whispered. "He produces the program Spook Chasers."
"Did I sign any contract for this?" Shego whispered as Jerry got closer.
Jerry arrived in time to hear the cryptic comment, "I'll need to check international law. I'm not sure if the Geneva Convention allows flogging."
The producer stuck out his hand, "Thanks for letting us tape. This is a beautiful home you have here."
"We think so," Shego said non-committally, shaking his hand. "I hope my daughters weren't too much trouble for you."
"Kasy wasn't here," Sheki spoke up.
"And where is she?"
"I'm, ah, really not sure where hormones-for-brains is. She was supposed to be running interference for another hour or two." "Great, Eemah owns us now."
"We'll talk later," Shego hissed to her daughter. Turning back to the producer, "I guess you were fortunate in having the more polite of the twins, and their friend Hana."
"Those two were okay. The other young woman was a bit rude, made too many comments and got the other two laughing."
Shego turned to Sheki, "That doesn't sound like Jessica. Was she here?"
Sheki's eyes were wide as she stared at Jerry. "You saw her?"
"Saw who?" Shego demanded.
"And you heard her?"
"What are you talking about?" Jerry asked.
Shego realized who Sheki meant and turned to the producer, "Could you describe her?"
"We have show groupies who turn up looking like ghosts. That's why we try not to publicize it when we tape. This young woman was dressed all in white. Her makeup wasn't really impressive, really looked pretty normal - kind of an old-fashioned hairstyle though. You'd be surprised how some fans look when they crash a taping. What is this all about anyway?"
"Did anyone else see her?"
Jerry shook his head; these two were crazy. "She was right there with us. Of course everyone saw her."
"Humor me," Shego requested. "Ask a cameraman."
Jerry looked at the technicians, "HEY, TYRONE!"
Tyrone jogged over. "Did you get the three girls in any of the camera shots?" Jerry asked.
"What three girls?"
Jerry looked disgusted, "The three girls who were in the kitchen while Mike and Yvonne were in makeup. The three girls who stood in the entryway while we were taping. This one, the Japanese girl, and the one in white. The one in white stayed and watched us tape until the end."
"I didn't see a third girl. Just this kid and the Jap."
"You had to see her! She was with them all the time - usually standing right between them."
"Sorry, Boss, I just kept my focus on Yvonne and Mike. I must have missed her. Can I finish packing up now?"
Jerry nodded, and Tyrone headed back to the equipment vans. The producer shook his head, "That's just crazy. How could he miss her?"
Shego chuckled, "Go ask if anyone remembers seeing her while I talk with my daughter."
"They all had to have seen her," Jerry protested. "I just called on the only guy on the crew too busy trying to remember how to chew gum and focus at the same time to look around."
"Why don't you go ask," Shego suggested again.
"Wonder if they're trying to gaslight me," Jerry muttered as he headed over.
"What's gaslight?" Sheki whispered
"Old movie, about trying to make some woman think she's crazy. Don't change the subject, young lady," Shego said as he got out of ear shot, "What happened? And I want it straight and honest if you plan on sitting down any time before the end of the month."
"Well, some of us thought the show was fake, and some of us thought it was real. So Kasy-"
"And am I right that her job was to keep me from getting home?"
"Yeah, but she must have gotten distracted by some cute face-"
"Five bucks says she's at the Mankeys."
"Sucker bet. I want ten-to-one odds. My fifty cents to your five dollars."
"You're on." Shego snorted, "She reminds me a lot of Drakken."
"Uncle Drew? How?"
"She's great at coming up with big schemes, but she never thinks them through well enough or does enough planning to have them succeed."
"Yeah, but she usually manages to be out of the metaphorical lair when it blows up."
Shego mussed her daughter's hair, "Leaving poor little henchmen to take the fall when the roof collapses on them."
"There's-" Sheki began.
"No justice in the world," they finished together.
"And that's why you'll follow my footsteps and become a lawyer. If the world lacks justice who can profit better than a lawyer?"
Sheki decided to put off the question about going to Japan with Hana until later.
Shego's voice suddenly got serious. "You're both in real trouble, you realize that."
"Yeah. Will you have to tell Mom?"
"Afraid so. And she's really going to take it bad. She thinks she's neglected you and will blame herself."
"Great, do you have to use guilt too?"
Shego smiled, "I'm Jewish, remember?"
A stressed out Jerry Billings headed back to them, visibly upset. "Okay, what in the hell is going on here? Everyone says it was just Sheki and that Hana. Who was that third girl?"
"You're on the wrong side of the camera, Mr. Billings," the green woman told him.
"What do you mean?"
"That was Helen Kringle."
His brow furrowed, "That was the name of the dead woman."
"That was the dead woman."
"You're trying to tell me…"
Shego and Sheki nodded yes.
He stared at them for almost a full minute, not sure what to believe. "Oh, shit! Oh… Can I get the cameras back in there? Can we do more taping?"
"No. Sorry, but she doesn't show up on film and your crew would never believe you."
"Please, Halloween special? Anything?"
He was still pleading with Shego when the vans began leaving, "Think about it tonight, I'll call you tomorrow," he told her as he reluctantly headed for his car.
"Doesn't seem fair to punish him," Sheki remarked as the producer drove out.
"You're right. Not when there are so many people who deserve punishment."
Sheki shut her mouth. As they walked toward the house Hana appeared with Jane.
"Don't disappear on me," Shego demanded. "I want to know what crazy redhead came up with this idea."
Hana nodded, "Yes."
"And did anyone's brain kick in and somebody object?"
"I believe we all pointed out the flaws with her plan. Most unfortunately your oldest daughter can be very persuasive."
"I'm just glad she's a daughter," Shego muttered, "if she was a son she'd probably get some poor girl pregnant."
"I think she's willing to try anyway," Sheki added.
"I'll get back to you when I'm finished with Hana," Shego promised. The lawyer sighed and looked back at Hana, "You knew what you were doing was wrong, but it wasn't your idea. Can we get one night of babysitting out of this or two?"
Hana hesitated, "While Jane never gives me any trouble, there are certain conditions in your household which, ah…"
"Raise the degree of difficulty. I know. Okay, one night babysitting Jane and I don't tell your parents."
Hana bowed, "That is acceptable," and melted into the dusk.
"Eemah? Is Hana a ghost?" Jane asked.
"I don't think so," Shego chuckled and looked at her watch. "But if your sister Kasy doesn't get home soon she may be one after tonight."