Yoshizilla: THIS chapter is the one that got a major rework, so here it is in a better written form! Though in case you all missed the old introductions, I'll be glad to travel back to 2005/2006...(transforms into younger self) Hey there again! It's time for another random, humor, spine-tingling adventure! This time Gruntilda and Marik have teamed up and trapped everyone inside May's stomach! (Dun dun duuuuun!) What will happen now? Find out!
Disclaimer: (shoots bullets at Dis and Claimer) WOO! Um...anyway, we own nothing. (continues shooting)
Yoshizilla's After Thought Note: Just because there are characters from Final Fantasy/Yu-Gi-Oh in this, doesn't mean I like them. Sad to say to longtime fans, but I DISLIKE Final Fantasy. Very much. Very, VERY much. So...don't expect anymore cameos of characters or references from that particular series.
Chapter 2: May's Stomach of Hell
Gruntilda and Marik laugh as they victoriously burst into the Burger King and pick up May.
"GAH! Where are you taking me?" She cried.
Marik looked at May and said, "We're taking you to McDonald's! This place is too disgusting to cause chaos."
Within several seconds, the three figures burst out of the Burger King and head straight into the McDonald's. All of the workers and customers have left because of Willy Wonka's escaped squirrels. Marik destroyed the squirrels with a swing of his rod, and both he and Gruntilda put May down in the middle of the restaurant.
"What are you gonna do with me?" May asked.
Gruntilda and Marik laughed evilly, when they were interrupted by low grumbling sounds.
"Sorry, that was my stomach," May said as she blushed a deep red.
Marik looked at Gruntilda and said, "Shall we torment our new victims?"
Gruntilda looked at Marik and replied, "Yes. That way, after they deal with the food, we can have some more fun with them!"
Both Gruntilda and Marik cackled, while May just sat there, confused.
Back in May's stomach, everyone was moaning.
Onix got up and shook his head. "What a rough landing," He said, as everyone else got up.
"Mamma mia, where are we?" Mario said as he scratched his head.
Onix looked around, and saw strange yellow acid. "Hmm, what's this?" Onix pondered, as he touched the yellow acid. He cried in pain and licked his burnt tail.
Luigi examined the acid and said, "This...is yellow acid. If there's acid, then we must be in..." Luigi gasped and everyone's eyes widened.
"...inside May's stomach!" Onix cried.
Onix started moving away from the yellow acid, when he bumped into Cloud Strife. "Cloud, what happened to you?" Onix asked.
Cloud looked at Onix and replied, "Two figures appeared and trapped me inside here. I think I might remember what they look like."
Cloud was trying to fight the Oscars back as they came from all sides. He cut through them with his Omni slash, beheading some, and slicing up the cans of the others, leaving them stark naked.
"FILTH!" The naked Oscars ran to cover their nakedness.
Cloud stuck his sword in the ground and wiped sweat from his brow. "Now… Where could the other have gone…?"
A sudden impact knocked Cloud out and shattered his sword. Overhead of him, a green spandex wearing goblin man flew by. "Suffer the terror of the Gay Goblin!" The Green Goblin yammered.
Spider Man appeared at that very moment, web swinging from who knows where. "All right, GAY Goblin… It's bad enough I've had to chase you halfway across town. But making me chase you halfway across the universe is even worse!"
The Green Goblin ignored him, going on with useless babble. "Anyone wanna try my special Green Dick?" He flashed his "special green dick" at everyone in sight.
Poor Spider Man was so disgusted that he threw up…in his mask. "GAH! OH GOD!" He tore his mask off, and took out a handkerchief, trying to wipe up the puke on his face.
Sadly, for them, Gruntilda caught sight of them. "More victims for the stomach!" She waved her wand and transported Cloud and Spiderman into May's stomach.
Ash paces about in a panic, making his Pokemon dizzy. "We're stuck in the belly of a girl who can eat 10 times her own weight; my Pikachu has gone gay… What else could go wrong?"
"My sword broke for one thing." Cloud appears out of nowhere. "When we fell in here, it go caught under Onix and his rocky exterior crushed it…" He show's the handle with what's left of the blade, and the pieces of the blade in a bag. "I can't do much until I fix it." Without another word he sits down with some glue and starts to piece it back together.
Ash's eye begins to twitch. "What…next…" He says, struggling to speak.
Onix sighs. "I'll find a solution. Let me contact Crystal Onix." Onix coils up like a snake and closes his eyes.
Meanwhile, back in the Super Smash Brothers Mansion, Crystal Onix slithers about in the hall when…
Crystal Onix lifts his head up. "Onix? Is that you? Where are you?"
The gang and I appear to be stuck in the pit of May's stomach… We need a psychic Pokemon to get us out… You must get Mewtwo…
Crystal Onix starts to make his way to Mewtwo's room. When he opens the door, he finds Mewtwo in deep meditation. "Mewtwo?"
Mewtwo does not pick his head up but regards Crystal's presence. "Yes, Crystal Onix, what is it?"
Crystal rubs the back of his head with his tail. "I don't mean to disturb your meditation… But we've got a problem… Onix and the gang are stuck in May's stomach due to magic, and we need some psychic power to get them out…" Crystal anxiously awaits Mewtwo's answer.
Mewtwo stands up. "Alright… Take me to where May is, and I'll see what I can do."
Before they can do anything though…
PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT! A huge gust of smelly wind blows into the room, followed by an idiotic laugh.
Crystal Onix's eye twitches. "Ganondorf…" He groaned.
Mewtwo coughed and said, "God, don't tell me that he ate 5 cans of prune beans at the same time again…"
But before anyone says another thing, Mewtwo and Crystal Onix can't continue, because…
Mewtwo and Crystal Onix are blown straight out of the Super Smash Brothers' Mansion, coughing and gasping from Ganondorf's gas. They don't stop flying until they land right in McDonald's.
Gruntilda spots the two newcomers as they land in. "Aha… More guests… Prepare to see your friends!" With her magic, Mewtwo and Crystal Onix into May's stomach as well…
When Crystal recovers, he finds his brother and everyone looking at him. "Ah, damn it… Well, it looks like we're in May's stomach too…"
Mewtwo nodded. "However, we can still get out." He sits down in mediation. "I will need a moment of silence…"
Willy Wonka comes into the McDonald's, looks around the entire place, sees the hordes of squirrels wrecking the kitchen, and says, "Oh dear... It looks like my squirrels have been causing quite the chaos..."
Suddenly, a horde of crickets come in a chirp.
Wonka twitches and the crickets chirp in harmony. "Cri...cri...cri...CRICKETS! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Wonka shouted, as he started chasing the crickets all over the McDonald's.
The Oscars appeared and they shouted, "FILTH!"
Gruntilda destroys the squirrels, crickets, and Oscar the Grouches with her magic. She smiled and turned to Marik, saying, "There. No more of that. Marik, give May her food."
Marik cheered and shouted, "Finally!" Marik distributes, to May, 40 Happy Meals, and sets it in front of her. "This should be enough," He says, as he pushes the food towards May.
Suddenly, the squirrels return and take the forty happy meals. May starts crying and Gruntilda goes crazy.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Gruntilda screams.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" May cries.
"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Marik screams, as he starts using his rod like an axe and hacks up the squirrels, turning them into squirrel burgers and bone meal.
May stops crying and is trying not to look at the squirrels. "You know, I'm not that much hungry..." May says. But then her stomach growls loudly and she starts crying again. "But I can't resist...I'm so hungry I could eat a Snorlax..." May admitted.
A random Snorlax overheard and said, "I did not just hear that." The Snorlax then runs away as fast as he can from the McDonald's.
Marik uses his magic to replenish up the 40 Happy Meals, and gets ready to blast away any squirrels that appear next. The squirrels reappear and take the happy meals, but...Marik uses his rod's power to take control of the squirrel's minds, and makes them leave the food where it is, and forces them to all jump into the fryer. Some of them are standing in front of him.
May looks at the happy meals, then at Marik. "Is that for me?" She asks.
Marik nods to May with a smile. May cheers and kisses Marik on the cheek.
"Thank you!" She says, as she starts eating the happy meals.
Marik has lovesick smile on his face, blushing deeply, as he continues to march the squirrels into the fryer. The squirrels continue to march into the fryer, and they say in monotone, "WE OBEY MARIK. WE OBEY MARIK."
Back inside, our heroes wait for Cloud to repair his sword and for Mewtwo to start his psychic.
"Hey, do you guys hear rain or something?" Onix asks.
Spiderman looks up to see the opening of the stomach open... then he sees huge chunks coming down. "INCOMING!" He shouts to everyone, as he uses his webbing to create a HUGE net, which prevents the food from hitting them.
Suddenly, a huge rock hits Onix's head. "Ow...who put that here?" Onix asked, while he used his tail to recover his bump.
Ash examines it and he is shocked. "Uh... that's not a rock... " He tells them.
Brock looks and he gasps. "It's a chunk of Sega Genesis!"
Onix looks closer and suspects something. "Wait a minute..." he says. He looks at it closer, and then he hears ticking. "GAH! IT'S A BOMB!" He shouted.
Everyone jumped in surprise and screamed.
"OH GOD! POOR MAY!" Ash Ketchum cried.
Ruby started running around, panicking, and screamed, "OH MY! WE'RE DONE FOR!"
Cloud Strifle stands up proudly. "I did it! I fixed my sword!" He shouted with a smile, as he holds up his buster sword, which is whole once more.
Everyone was too busy panicking to notice.
"Cloud, this is no time to be proud of fixing your stupid sword! We have a crisis at hand!" Onix snapped, as he slithered around the bomb.
Cloud sees the bomb, picks up his buster sword, and says, "I'll handle this. I'll destroy it before it can detonate. Only one skill of mine can do it..." Suddenly, Cloud Strifle drew up his sword and yelled, "FINISHING TOUCH!" He slashes out a great whirlwind at the bomb, which travels back up the way it came, where it's burped out by May.
May blushes and says, "Excuse me." She giggles, and Gruntilda looks strangely at May, then at the bomb.
"What the hell was that?" The green warty witch shouted, scratching her head as Marik looked at the bomb suspiciously.
Marik jumps in shock and screams, "BOMB!"
Gruntilda shrieks as the bomb explodes, and shortly afterwards Gruntilda and Marik are flying off in the distance.
"Looks like we're blasting off!" Gruntilda and Marik shout, as they disappear into the sky.
Jessie, James, and Meowth, watching from a distance, mutter angrily to themselves as they plan to file a lawsuit.
Back at the McDonald's, May was still in her panties, while Willy Wonka snapped out of his crazy self. "What am I gonna do now?" He said. He looked at May, and he shouted, "YOU WEAR SKITTY PANTIES?"
May blushed madly and replied, "Yes…"
Ash and Ruby overheard this, and they started to sign and float in their own imaginary world. Cloud is wondering how Mewtwo is doing.
Suddenly, Mewtwo grins. He turns to the others and says, "I have finally done it. I can now break us out of here." Everyone cheered as Mewtwo starts using his psychic powers. "I hope this works..." Onix said. Crystal Onix slithered near Onix and said, "Me too…"
Back outside, May was sitting down in her panties, while Willy Wonka was looking around to see if anyone was still there.
"Hmmm...I think I'm gonna..." May said, as she stood up.
Willy Wonka saw May, and he screamed. "Oh no...you don't mean..." Wonka said, as he started to tremble in fear.
May smiled at Wonka and shook her head in agreement.
Wonka screamed and ran around, panicking. "It's the end of the world!" He screamed, as the Oompa Loompas came in.
"Wonka Sir! What's happening?" They ask.
Willy Wonka runs to them, and points to May. "That young maiden is gonna pass gas in here!" He said in fear.
The Oompa Loompas gasped and shouted, "We must protect Mr. Wonka!" Shortly afterwards, they slip a gas mask on him and create a human shield in front of him.
Wonka was crying out tears of joy, and he said, "Thank you, Oompa Loompas. You are honorable henchmen. You get triple money for this act of kindness!"
The Oompa Loompas cheered, but then…
The The Oompa Loompas are gassed, but stand tall in their shield. Willy Wonka screams, and he faints.
Back inside, everyone started to panic, mainly Mewtwo, since he knew what was coming next.
"This is not good..." Mewtwo stated, as he stopped his psychic ability.
Crystal Onix gulped in fear and asked, "What's gonna happen now?"
Onix started having images in his head, and he started to tremble. "We're going to be gassed out..." He said, as he moaned of the horrible images in his head.
Ash was curious and asked, "Will we be burped out? Or farted out?"
Onix looked at Ash and shudders. He then turns pale as he says, "Or both..."
Spiderman also shuddered and said, "Guess we'll have to hold our breath, and plug our noses..."
Mewtwo had scary images in his head, and he said, "I hope we don't come out as barf or..."
Cloud Strifle got the image in his head now, and he shuddered. "If we do... we're all gonna need showers..." he said, as everyone turned pale.
Back outside, the Oompa Loompas were looking at Wonka, who fainted.
"We have to revive Mr. Wonka!" One of them said.
Another Oompa Loompa gets out a Wonka Bar and holds it under Wonka's nose.
Wonka scratches his head and says, "Ugh...what happened?"
The Oompa Loompa who gave Wonka the Wonka Bar said, "May burped, and you passed out, but we revived you sir."
Wonka smiled and said, "Thank you...for that, I will increase your money by 23 times!"
The Oompa Loompas cheered and they said in unison, "THANK YOU SIR! YOU ARE MOST KIND!"
Suddenly, stomach gurgling came from May's stomach.
"I feel another one coming..." May said, as she rubbed her stomach.
Back inside, everyone were starting to panic.
Mewtwo's eyes widened as he said, "This one's a fart, so..."
Onix couldn't take the intensity anymore and he yelled, "HOLD ON TIGHT AND TRY NOT TO BREATHE!"
Cloud Strife took out several gas masks and shouted, "Gas masks, everyone!" He throws everyone a gas mask, and they all have a gas mask on.
"God, I hope this is only a dream..." Yoshi groaned, as they all waited for the dreaded event.
May finished putting her shirt on and she cheered. "I finally have back my clothes!" She shouted, as she danced around.
Suddenly, a loud stomach gurgling echoed through the McDonald's.
May stopped dancing and started moaning, holding her stomach in pain. "Oh man…I really think I'm gonna do it…" May said, as she started to hold her stomach with both hands.
Wonka panicked and yelled, "NO! IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!"
Finally, at long last, everyone inside May's stomach prepare for the disturbing even that-
…Never mind. (cough, cough) Suddenly, everyone that was inside May's stomach fall on the blue carpet next to her and Wonka faints again.
The Oompa Loompas all gather around Willy Wonka, while May jumps in surprise to see the victims on the blue carpet. Apparently, May ripped out another fart, that was so powerful, everyone was sent flying.
Mewtwo fell on the ground, unconscious. Spiderman ended up flying out the window. Cloud Strifle went through the door. Crystal Onix hit the wall so hard that he shattered into millions of small pieces of crystal. Yoshi falls on top of Willy Wonka. Pikachu landed right on Ash's gut, knocking the wind out of him. Onix falls on the ground, face first. Brock ended up landing right into Onix, breaking a few bones. Mario falls into one of the Oompa Loompas. Luigi falls into the fryer, but jumps out and runs around the place in flames, screaming his lungs out.
Tea Gardener lands butt first on Yugi Moto. "Damn she's got a nice ass..." Yugi said to himself.
Some of the squirrels from earlier dance around Tea. Tea giggles at the squirrels. The squirrels smile and start curling in Tea's stomach.
"Odd, they seem to be kind to her..." Yugi said, as he scratched his head. Suddenly, the squirrels start running away when they hear a low growling noise.
Tea giggles and says, "That was my stomach."
Ash got up and said, "Hey, where's May?"
May walked towards Ash and said, "I'm right here, silly!"
"May!" Ash cries, as he hugs May tightly.
May burps loudly, and it blows off Ash's hat. "Oopsie," May said, as she giggles.
Ash was almost knocked out, but he laughs. "How much did you eat?" He asked.
May burped again and replied, "40 Happy Meals!"
Everyone gasped and shouted, "FORTY HAPPY MEALS!"
Ash was in shock.
Onix scratched his head and asked, "Ugh...now what do we do?"
Yoshi rubs the back of his head. "Errmm...well, I suppose that we, uh..." The green Yoshisaurus stuttered.
Loud stomach growling comes from Tea's stomach, and Yugi remarks, "I suppose we resume lunch."
"Um... Onix? What about your brother?" Cloud Strife said to Onix, as he points to the shattered crystal mess, which used to be Crystal Onix.
"Oh dear...good thing I packed a Max Revive..." Onix says, as he takes out a Max Revive and uses it to restore Crystal Onix to his former form.
Crystal Onix wakes up woozy as he says, "Woah... Did I just shatter?"
Onix patted Crystal Onix on the back and said, "Yep. You were lucky that I had plenty of Max Revives."
"I must have come at an incredible force... cause usually I don't shatter that easily..." Crystal Onix said, as he rubbed his sore bump.
Onix stood there in amazement and shock. "Wow...May's stomach must really have strong gas..."
Crystal Onix signed and said, "Another disadvantage of having a crystal body...but usually I don't shatter like that."
Tea's stomach growls very loudly just as Brock returns with 40 value meals. Suddenly, the squirrels from Willy Wonka's factory appear and take all of the happy meals. Yami Yugi uses his power to freeze the squirrels. Onix and Crystal Onix recover the food from the squirrels and set it down on the table.
"What else could go wrong?" Crystal Onix said to Onix, as trashcans appeared and the Oscars popped out.
The Oscars steal it and hide in their trashcans. "FILTH!" They yell, as they eat all of the happy meals.
Brock keeps ordering the burgers and the fries while Mario and Luigi beat up the Oscars with their hammers. The Oscars are not affected by Mario and Luigi's hammers because their trashcans are made out of armor. Brock distributes all the fries and burgers on the gang's table. Soon, several of Willy Wonka's squirrels appear and snatch all of the food.
"Damn squirrels..." Crystal Onix curses, as Yami Yugi freezes the squirrels with his mind blast.
"Where are these pesky squirrels coming from?" Onix asks, as several new squirrels circle around Yami Yugi and start attacking him.
Brock keeps ordering the burgers and fries, while Yami Yugi keeps mind blasting the squirrels.
"It couldn't get any worse..." Yoshi muttered quietly to himself.
Suddenly, everyone including the Oscars, squirrels, and the Oompa Loompas are teleported to the digital word.
Yoshi groans and slaps his forehead. "Me and my big mouth..."
NEXT EPISODE COMING SOON...eventually.
Yoshizilla: Yep, that's practically it for now, but I thought that this could get new interest into people. Yes, I know that this fanfic was a cult classic, but...it just doesn't seem to be up there. So that's why I'm re-doing it from scratch! Hopefully, by the end of this year/start of the next year, I'll be co-writting with Milleniumon the Sonamy Freak (now known as Heartless Nobody), but that's in the future. And no, don't expect this arch to be continued - the next one will be a completely brand new chapter. So all in all, I'll leave you with these words...
SEGA GENESIS FAILS UTTERLY!!!!!! SUPER NINTENDO ENTERTAINMENT SYSTEM FOR THE WIN, BABY!!!!!! WOOHOO!!!!!!