Pregnant – Chapter 6
Disclaimer: I own nothing, all the characters belong to Joss Whedon
A.N: So this is the last chapter. I know it has taken me a while again, but since I had ten exams to take, I think I had a legitimate reason to be late with this chapter. ;) So I hope you enjoy it.
"I can't be a bloody father!" Spike slammed his glass on the bar and looked at the bartender with bloodshot eyes. Yellow, slitted ones met his gaze. "Give me another one."
"You've had enough, vampire." One tentacle shot out and grabbed the glass.
"No, no, I need another one." His voice sounded desperate to his own ears. He looked at the Garus demon who stared at him with no expression at all on his gray, slimy face, but Spike didn't care. He moaned. "Oh God, see? I can't even be responsible enough not to get drunk, how can I be a father?" He held his head in his hands and sniffed once. His next words when he leaned forward were even more desperate. "I've killed hundreds, thousands of people in my time. How am I supposed to raise a child, teach him morals, with that kind of history? How will he look at me if he knows his father is a monster?"
Spike shook his head once to clear it of the fog that threatened to take over his mind. "I'm not good enough to be a father."
"For the devil's sake, would you just shut up?" the bartender growled. "If I had ears, they would have already started bleeding!" The demon leaned forward and spit flew in every direction as he spoke. "You, you pathetic loser, have a fucking soul, which you're lucky to not have been killed for yet since I've noticed at least five demons in this room who'd gladly lay their hands on you, so don't you dare call yourself one of us. You're not. So go home to your little slayer friend and lead the white hat life you've chosen. Do whatever you want, but stop the fucking whining!"
Spike grunted, feeling somehow insulted in his vampire honour, even though he had basically just heard what he had wanted to hear. "You're lucky I'm too drunk to make the effort," he growled. "On every other day you would be dead by now!"
The bartender laughed. "Yeah, right." And with that he turned away.
Spike scowled. Even his threats weren't taken seriously anymore. This day was getting worse by the second. He got up and swayed for a moment, his hand gripping the bar; he'd definitely had too much to drink. Convincing himself that that was the only reason he let the bartender live, he made his slow way home.
Buffy was sitting on a bench in the graveyard, staring into the night. But her eyes weren't seeing the darkness in front of her; before her inner eye she saw Giles, a serious expression on his face and speaking the words she had dreaded to hear. "It seems like we have to consider the possibility that this is a real child. That…somehow…Spike was able to father a baby. I can think of no other explanation for this. We have looked for everything."
For a moment Buffy was too shocked to speak. When she finally spoke, her words came out much weaker than she had intended. "But…how?"
Giles shrugged, which certainly looked strange on him, and avoided looking her in the eye. Buffy's eyes wandered to Spike who was white as a sheet and hadn't spoken a word since she had shown him the test result. "Spike?" She touched his arm to get him to look at her. He jumped slightly at the touch and met her eyes, a strange expression on his face that she couldn't quite place. She was all too aware of the stares of her friends and wished she could be alone with him. This sudden change of things had got her emotions in such a tangle, she couldn't deal with her friends right now. And Spike didn't look like he even believed what was happening.
"Buffy," his voice was a hoarse whisper and the tone in which he said it told her one thing: he was terrified. Utterly and totally terrified. And somehow, even though she felt bad about it, it comforted her because she was feeling exactly the same. "I…" In that moment he seemed to notice all the others around them and he stopped. "I have to get some air. I'll see you at home." With these words he stormed out of the door and into the night.
She herself had done the same shortly after. Buffy sighed when her surroundings came into focus again. She had never thought about being a mother, never even considered it. When she had chosen to be with Spike, she had known that she would never have children and she had accepted it. Being with him fulfilled her more than anything else could.
And anyway, her lifestyle had always been too dangerous for raising a child. It had been difficult enough to care for Dawn and keep her alive. But now that was different, a little voice in her mind said. Now she wasn't the slayer anymore, she didn't have to fight demons if she didn't want to.
That thought made Buffy laugh out loud. She leaned back and tried to imagine a world where she and Spike spent their evenings cooking or playing games. They would always fight demons, it's what they were. She had admitted to herself long ago that deep down, she liked it as much as he did. It satisfied her.
She thought of Spike in his black leather duster, kicking a demon and swinging him against a gravestone, a playful smile on his lips. The image warmed her from the inside.
Then suddenly Buffy's green eyes widened and she looked down onto her belly. This child that was growing inside of her was Spike's child. Maybe it would have his eyes, or his laugh and maybe his twisted sense of humour. She smiled; a little Spike wouldn't be so bad.
This was the only chance she would ever have to have a child with Spike, there would be no other.
Buffy's hand shot backwards, and her stake went right through the vampire who had crept up on her. "Don't you dare hurt my baby," she hissed as she was showered in dust.
When Spike entered the apartment he knew she was already there. He stopped at the bedroom door and saw Buffy sitting on the bed. She was lost in thought and he studied her quietly until suddenly, her eyes went up and she looked at him. Neither said a word and he sat down beside her. The cold night air had sobered him up effectively, but he knew he must still smell of alcohol and cigarettes. Normally he would get a glare and a forceful 'suggestion' that he should shower and brush his teeth, but not today.
Today Buffy just looked at him with those big, soft eyes of hers and for a long moment didn't say anything. "Do you think we can make this work?"
"Hell, I don't know." He took her hand in his and for all the insecurity he felt on his part, he knew what the answer was for her. "I just know that you would be a wonderful mother." He smirked and played with one of her locks. "Bossy and sometimes bad-tempered, but wonderful." She laughed and smacked his shoulder. "Thank you very much, mister." But her eyes glistened strangely. "Do you really think so?" she asked quietly.
"Do I ever lie to you?" Buffy shook her head. "There you go then." Before he knew what had hit him, her mouth was on his and she kissed him with such a passion that a shiver rippled through his body. "God Spike, I love you," she murmured. "The more I think about this baby, the more I like the thought of it. It will be our flesh and blood, something you and I created. It will be us."
Spike pulled away. "Now that's exactly what I'm afraid of." He couldn't voice the thoughts that were running around in his head and averted his face, but Buffy knew what he was thinking anyway. She touched his cheek and said: "Look at me, Spike." Their eyes met and she continued. "If our child turned out to be exactly like you, I couldn't be happier, you hear me? Funny, kind, generous, brave… There's nothing I wouldn't be proud of."
Spike saw the honesty in her expression and a warm glow spread in his chest. After a moment he gave a low chuckle. "You forgot handsome."
She laughed as well. "Oh, I think it has to inherit something from me, don't you?"
Her infectious laugh stirred the inside of his trousers and his expression grew salacious. Buffy noticed his look and smirked. "You know, we're finally home. With nobody else around…"
She didn't have to say anything else, so quickly had he pinned her on the bed. Spike savoured the sight of her beneath him, her nipples visible under her t-shirt and her hips pressing up against him. "Enjoy it while you can," Buffy whispered teasingly.
He clicked his tongue against his teeth and grinned. "Oh, I will." And with that he took her mouth in a passionate, but loving kiss.
A.N.: Reviews are greatly appreciated, especially since this is the end and I'd really like to know what you thought about it.
I'm now saying goodbye to writing Buffy fanfiction and therefore want to thank you all for the nice support I got from you with this and my other stories.