Chapter 3: Carol Beer proves once more why she deserves that 'employee of the month' award


Tom Baker Voice Over: "It's ten past Tuesday and Carol Beer is... oh dear I seem to have forgotten. Come to think of it, where are my trousers?"

Carol is sitting at her desk with a blank expression on her face, staring straight ahead. A couple walk into the travel agents and sit in front of her. They nod and smile.

Carol looks straight through them for five whole minutes.

"Er - hello?" One of the men waves his hand in front of her face.

Carol makes no move to acknowledge them. "Oh, I didn't see you."

There is another minute of silence.

One of the men presses on. "Er - we were wondering if we could book a holiday to Cyprus in October."

Carol blinks and looks at them again. "Oh, I didn't see you." She gives them a brief insincere smile then abruptly turns towards her computer and starts to type frantically, completely ignoring them. She then bends her face over the keyboard and presses the Return key with her nose.

After his initial surprise, the customer leans forward eagerly. "Are there any vacancies?"

Carol turns to them. "Computer says noooo..."

"Oh, what's the problem?"

"It's all written here." She turns the monitor so they can see what she has typed on the screen. It reads oijarexwlqo8uowajia6398765iuhvtceauygp8byn978y6e43w32?%6$7756I6TY. She picks up her kettle and proceeds to pour a cup of tea into her cup. When it is full, however, she still continues to pour until the kettle is empty. Tea flows all over the desk and soaks everything. "Oh dear. Please excuse me one moment." She looks down at the tea and coughs on it.

The men, looking slightly scared, get up to leave. "Oh well, never mind. I suppose we'd better check elsewhere." He turns to the other. "Oh, I almost forgot. We should pop to the supermarket on the way home. Do we need more milk?"

Carol types the word MILK on her keyboard.

"Computer says noooooo."