Summary: Uh…Cath and Sara fall in love- original, aren't I? It's femmeslash so…if you think lesbians are icky and you are still reading this- you may need to see someone about that. Or look in the dictionary under 'sexual repression.' That's what I did. Granted, I was ten at the time.
A/N: Sorry if this is a little too 'quick, where's my u-haul' for some of you. But seriously, it's a stereotype for a reason. Besides, I promise there will be a sequel to remedy the unrealistic plot.
"I love you." Catherine whispered against the brunette's lips.
"I love you," came the equally husky reply.
"Move in with me?" The words tumbled out before she could stop them.
The corner of Sara's mouth twitched. "Marry me?" she countered.
"Yes," was the resounding reply. Catherine grinned. Could this really be happening?
She had been in love with her female co-worker for the better part of the four years they had worked together, keeping her at a distance but aching every time their fighting threatened to tear her apart. And then, in barely an hour, it had all changed.
She had been quietly changing in the locker room when Nick and Sara had come in and moved to another row. She paused. Knowing it was wrong to eavesdrop, she was about to make her presence known when she heard her name.
"Sara, you should just tell Catherine. What's the worst that could happen?"
"Uh, how about she could rip me to shreds and laugh in my face? I would have to transfer out of state."
"Okay, maybe that's not so fun. But if you don't tell her, you'll wallow in depression for the rest of your life and fall into a swirling vortex of despair."
What the hell are they talking about? Catherine wondered.
"I think you seriously underestimate the fun that can be found in wallowing; and the swirling vortex of despair? That's where I rent my summer house; lovely view of the gateway to Hell."
"You're such a chicken shit."
"I am not!"
"Yes, you are. You act all tough in the field and with the perps, but you can't even do this one little thing for yourself?"
"One little thing? Little thing?!" Sara's voice grew louder. "You call telling a straight woman who hates you that you're madly in love with her and that she's your soul mate a little thing? I think your manual on life is short a few pages, Nicky."
Catherine froze. What!? Had she seriously just heard that? No way, she was imagining things, she was dreaming, she was dead; there had to be a logical explanation for this. But none came to mind and she realized she was missing part of the conversation.
"What do you mean she's not straight? Of course she's straight."
"I don't think so. I heard Hodges say that Sofia actually asked her out one of her first days on the job and that's why things are so tense between them."
"Because she's straight and she turned her down."
"No, because she accepted and then left in the middle of their first date."
Catherine winced. She had attempted to go out with Sofia, if only as a distraction. She was pretty and intelligent and there were certain commonalities between her and Sara. But in the end, it had been a feeble attempt to replace someone she thought could never be hers.
"Yeah, get this; her excuse was that she was interested in someone else and that it was unfair to Sofia."
"Are you serious? She went on a date with Sofia? But…Sofia's a woman."
"Which would be why I said I don't think Catherine's straight." Nick said slowly.
"I can't believe Sofia would hit on my woman!" Catherine smiled at the jealousy in Sara's voice.
"Now she's your woman? Sara, you haven't even told her you like her."
"I don't like her, Nick; I love her. And I'm never going to tell her. She'd flay me alive."
"If you're in love with her then you have to know that Catherine would never do that. She's too much of a sweetheart."
"To you maybe. To everyone else in this lab, maybe. To everyone else in this world, maybe. But with me…it's like everything I do sets her off. Around me, she becomes like this half-crazed human time bomb just waiting to explode."
Okay, this was getting out of hand. Catherine knew she had to do something or else she would probably end up hearing more than she wanted to. Gathering up all of her courage, she moved around the lockers.
"Am I really that bad?" she asked.
She had meant for her voice to sound confident, maybe even a little teasing. But it came out all wrong; unsure, nervous, and small- how she was actually feeling.
Sara's heart stopped dead when she heard Catherine's voice from behind her. Shit! She was too afraid to even move. Instead, she watched for confirmation in the expression on Nick's face. She got it. He raised his eyebrows and visibly paled.
"Cath…hey," he said awkwardly. "How, umm…how long have you been in here?"
"A while." Came the hoarse reply. Catherine wondered where her voice had gone and mentally kicked herself for not being more together.
"Yeah? Well…I'm gonna go…I think Warrick said something about needing help on a case or…" Nick shot an apologetic look at Sara who still hadn't moved and then he quickly left.
There was a heavy silence in the air and Sara could not bring herself to turn around and face the other woman.
Catherine desperately needed Sara to look at her, to confirm what she had heard. Cautiously, she took a step forward, "Sara…" her voice came out pleading when she really didn't want it to. Damn it. Why couldn't she control her own actions in front of this woman?
At the sound of her name on the other woman's lips, a shudder ran through Sara. But her panic was too great and she couldn't take much more of the tension. She shook her head violently, and spoke the only word that was running through her mind, "No." With that, she ran out of the locker room.
"Shit!" Catherine's voice rang in the empty locker room. It only took her about a second to realize she had to run after the woman she loved. She ran straight to the only place she knew Sara would hide; her lab. She found the younger woman pacing frantically and muttering to herself. She also could hear her sniffling intermittently. Suppressing the instinct to run to her and take her tears away, Catherine quietly slipped into the room.
Sara only noticed her when she heard the door shut and lock. Fear flooded through her and made her heart thud fast and loud in her ears. She was trapped and the woman she loved was looking at her with that confused look on her face. She needed to get away. Okay, she thought, flight didn't work, how about fight?
As the blonde woman came closer, Sara held out her hand for her to stop. To Sara's surprise, she did. "Sara," she spoke from ten feet away, "I-"
Sara's eyes sparked as the fear she was feeling was quelled by the familiar cloak of defensive anger, "You what, Catherine? You came to gloat? To preen? After all the times you've cast me aside, you find out that I will always come back to you like a kicked puppy? Does that make you happy? To know that you have supreme power? That everyone, even cool and distant Sara Sidle falls in love with you?" She took a step forward, challenging.
This time, Catherine took a step back, surprised by the other woman's anger. She swallowed and blinked to keep her tears from falling, "Do you really think so little of me?" she asked, her voice tight from the knot in her throat.
Sara heard the pain in her voice, and knowing she had put it there made her chest ache. She faltered.
"Do you really think I would do that?" Catherine whispered, "That I could do that?"
Sara looked to the ground as her attempted anger left her and was rapidly replaced by guilt and shame. She had hurt her love. She shrugged her shoulders, "You can do anything you want," she said feebly.
Catherine dared to take a step forward, "Do you really think I want to hurt you?"
Sara had her eyes on the tile floor and failed to see Catherine's approach. The older woman took another step forward and another. "That it makes me happy when I hurt you?"
Sara shrugged noncommittally.
Catherine's eyes were now filled to the brim, her lips quivering, "How can you think that? How can you say you love someone you think is capable of taking joy in someone else's pain?" She reached out a hand.
Sara saw the movement and stepped out of reach once more, turning her back on the other woman.
"Sara, please!" Catherine wailed as the tears began to flow freely down her cheeks, her hand still outstretched.
Sara stiffened at the agony in Catherine's plea, but still she could not bring herself to turn around.
"Please! Please, say you don't think I'm like that. Please, tell me you don't think I could ever enjoy your pain. Because I couldn't, Sara. And I never have." Catherine's eyes blurred over with tears and the form in front of her grew indistinct. A broken sob escaped her lips.
If Sara hadn't been so upset herself, she would have wondered why Catherine was reacting this way. As it was, she shook as silent tears racked her body. She hugged her sides and shut her eyes to keep from crying out loud. She would not turn around.
"I hate it, Sara. I hate how we fight. I hate that I hurt you, I hate myself. Every time I hurt you, I die inside. I could never…please, Sara…"
"Why do you do it?" Sara's voice was oddly calm.
"You say you don't want to hurt me. Then why do you do it? Because you do hurt me a lot, and it certainly seems intentional."
Catherine cringed, "I know. I'm sorry; I am so sorry, Sara. But I- I thought I had to."
"Why?" Sara wanted to know.
Catherine took a deep breath, "To protect myself," she supplied.
This got Sara's attention and, breaking the promise to herself, she turned around, "From what?"
Catherine closed her eyes, "You."
"Me?" Sara asked, confused, "Catherine, I've never wanted to hurt you."
"I know!" The older woman yelled miserably, "I know that, I just…I couldn't risk you getting too close. It was easier just to push you away. Only you never got the hint and I had to keep pushing…" her voice grew weak.
A theory began to formulate in Sara's mind. It seemed impossible and yet the evidence clearly spoke for itself. She took a step forward so that she and Catherine were within arms reach, "Catherine, why did you push me away?"
Her voice was steady and soothing and Catherine looked up and into her deep brown eyes. What she saw there gave her courage, "I was afraid…" she whispered, "afraid that you would come into my life and leave it just as fast. I know you never wanted to hurt me, Sara, but you could have so easily. You still could…"
"How?" Sara watched the tearful blue eyes and beautiful face, "How could I hurt you?"
Catherine shook her head, "You could leave me," she managed before the tears and sobs took hold once more.
Instinctively, Sara moved to cradle the smaller woman in her arms. She wrapped one arm around her waist, and the other she used to tangle her hand in that golden hair and pull Catherine's head to her chest. "Shh," she whispered, rocking the woman from side to side, "Shh."
But it seemed Catherine had opened a flood gate and she only cried harder, though she did pull Sara closer by throwing both arms around the taller woman's middle, "Don't leave me, Sara, please…don't leave me."
Despite the gravity of the situation, Sara couldn't help but smile. She finally had Catherine Willows in her arms and apparently in no hurry to leave. "Don't worry, Cat," she assured, softly kissing the top of the smaller woman's head, "I'm not going anywhere. I'm here as long as you want me. I'm not going anywhere."
These words seemed to register in Catherine's mind because she looked up and into the dark eyes with her wide, wet blue ones. She shook her head, "I don't ever want you to let go, Sara." She inhaled deeply, "I love you."
Sara felt faint, "Huh?" she asked articulately.
"I love you." There were those three words again.
"No." Sara shook her head and tried to pull away.
But Catherine wouldn't let go, "Yes. Yes, I do. I love you. Nick told you, I left my date with Sofia because I was in love with someone else."
This made Sara stop; she raised an eyebrow at the woman attached to her.
"You're that someone else, Sara. I've been in love with you since you walked, long-legged, into this lab. I couldn't help it. I tried to stop it but I couldn't. Eventually, I accepted it as something I couldn't change and spent most of my time trying to keep you from ever finding out. But no matter how hard I tried. Dating men, dating women, pushing you further and further away. Nothing worked, you were always there."
Catherine smiled softly, tucking a loose curl behind Sara's ear, "So don't shake your head at me, God damn it. If anyone knows who I'm in love with, it's me. And I'm in love with you, Sara Sidle; I'm in love with you."
Sara's eyes spilled over, "Great," she smiled, "now we're both blubbering like babies." She sniffed heavily.
Sara looked into Catherine's eyes for a long time. And Catherine met her stare for stare, willing to stand there for eternity if she had to, to assure the woman she loved of her true feelings. Slowly, a full blown gap-toothed smile spread over the taller woman's face, causing the smaller woman to beam in return.
"So? What do you say?" Catherine squeezed Sara tightly.
Sara kissed the top of her head, "I say…" she kissed her forehead and smiled again, "I love you, Catherine Willows. I'm in love with you and have been ever since I walked, long-legged, into this lab. I couldn't help it. I tried to stop it, but I couldn't. And now that I've got you," Sara kissed the end of her nose, "I'm never letting you go." She punctuated this last line with a kiss on the lips.
A kiss that was steadily deepened by both women. Soon the embrace took on a different quality. There was still love in their touches, but now there was also lust, hunger, and desire. Lips parted, making way for tongues.
Small moans of pleasure came from both women as their mutual exploration became more insistent. Hands began to roam, to gently caress along shirt hems and bra lines. Only when a voice came over the loudspeaker, calling for someone's DNA results, did the two women remember where they were.
They smiled nervously at each other.
Sara coughed, "Well…"
Catherine did some quick calculating before grabbing hold of Sara's wrist, her eyes flashing mischievously. "Come on."
"Where are we going?" Sara called as she was dragged from her lab.
"My place." They were practically running.
"What? We still have three hours left of shift!" They were passing the Trace Lab.
"Yeah, well, you and I have both suddenly come down with the flu."
"We have?" Now they were rounding on Ballistics.
"And it's very contagious."
"I suppose the only cure is bed rest."
"You got it." Safely past the break room and Grissom's office.
"Well, I guess I have no choice; I have to get you into bed immediately."
"Tragic, isn't it?"
They had almost made it past reception undetected when they heard Nick call out in smug voice, "Hey, where are you two going?"
The women looked over their shoulders to see the entire team looking at them as if they were crazy.
Sara blushed, "Cath is very ill," she tried, pushing the blonde further towards the door.
The boys took in the blonde's glowing appearance and permanently fixed smile.
"Yeah," Warrick raised an eyebrow, "She looks like she's on her death bed."
Sara nodded, "I know. I should really get her into bed."
Typically oblivious Grissom asked, "Are you coming straight back?"
Catherine shook her head, "Sara's sick, too. We must have some kind of bug."
Nick coughed into his arm; his cough sounded something like, "Love bug!"
Sara couldn't wipe the stupid grin off her face, "Yeah, well. We'd hate to infect any of you all, so…bye!" And she ran ahead of Catherine out the door, leaving her love to wave awkwardly at their friends before following her out.
And now, here they were. In her bedroom, just inside the door. Standing there; naked. Catherine thought Sara was the most beautiful creature she had ever seen.
"I love you."
"I love you."
"Move in with me?"
Sara's heart beat faster, "Really?"
Catherine gazed steadily into her eyes, "Of course, my love."
Sara kissed her softly, "You're amazing."
Catherine shook her head, gently running her fingertips down Sara's sides and over her hips, "Whatever I am, it's not enough to deserve you. But I'm going to spend the rest of my life making up the last three years to you."
"No. That's in the past. This is a clean slate for us. For both of us. Let's just start over, alright?"
Catherine nodded solemnly, and quietly led Sara to her bed. Their bed. For a fleeting moment, she thought that Sara might want to wait for their relationship to be more than a few hours old before they made love, but a single look in her eyes told her the truth. They might be turning a new leaf, but now that they were finally where they were supposed to be; it was like they had never been anywhere else.
They lay down gently side by side. For a minute, they only looked; absorbing each other's colors and curves. Then, slowly, delicately, they began to touch. The brush of a palm along the shoulder, the shudder after a fingernail was stroked along the spine. Lazy circles drawn around the navel.
And then their movements became less innocent. A kiss on the neck and then a bite followed by another kiss to dull the pain. Sara snaked an arm around Catherine, pulling them flush.
After several minutes of languid kissing, and fluttering touches, Catherine groaned in frustration. She pushed Sara onto her back and rose above her, a knee on either side of the longer woman's waist. Seeing Catherine's breasts above her, Sara's eyes flashed in appreciation. Catherine had to stifle a giggle at her expression; she looked like a kid in a candy store.
Sara changed their positions again by bringing her knees up to support Catherine's back and then sitting up, effectively trapping her partner in the V her body made. Sara kissed Catherine's lips thoroughly yet briefly before trailing light kisses down her neck and chest. Lovingly, almost reverently, she began to lick and kiss circles around the other woman's breasts.
Instinctively, Catherine brought a hand into Sara's dark hair, urging her forward. She hissed her approval when Sara took her right nipple between her teeth. Her head fell against Sara's knees as the tip of a tongue brushed quickly over the hardened point.
"Oh, my God, Sara."
Sara hummed, sending vibrations through the other woman's breast, making her cry out. Sara moved to take the other nipple in her mouth, bringing up her left hand to distract the one her lips had just left. Her right hand began to move from its place on Catherine's hip, creeping steadily downwards until it was resting on her thigh. When she made to move the hand inward, however, Catherine caught it.
In a quick move, the blonde pushed off Sara's legs and toppled Sara over onto her back once more. She balanced herself with a hand on either side of the brunette's head, "Are you trying to kill me?" she smiled.
Sara smirked, "That's not exactly what I was going for; I was thinking more like heaven on earth…"
Catherine cupped her lover's face with one hand, stroked her side with the other, and met her deep brown eyes with a look of pure love, "I'm already there, sweetheart." She leaned down and gently, delicately, took her lover's lips.
After long minutes of unhurried kissing, the women's motions began to heat up once more. Catherine trailed wet kisses down the brunette's neck and chest. She reveled in the small tremors coursing through the body beneath her. Several times throughout the night and into the early morning each struggled for dominance over the other woman. In the end, they lay parallel, gazing into each other's eyes as they moved frantically, passionately, within one another.
Catherine could barely stand the look of sheer adoration in Sara's eyes as she brought her to climax. Minutes later, when she too reached her own peak, she felt the walls of her old world crash down around her. And no new ones came up in their place. Instead, there were strong arms wrapping her in a protective embrace, and soft lips affirming their owner's love. Love for her. The blonde relaxed contentedly into the younger woman, whispering words of love and devotion as they curled up under the blanket. Of course, they still had a long way to go, but it didn't matter. She had her love and, for the moment, everything was perfect.
Okay, so…Whadya think? Too corny? Too much sex? Not enough sex? Oooh, I really want to tell you what happens in the sequel, but I can't. Suffice to say, it makes up for the immense saptitude (which is my newly invented word) of part one. Review and I will give you my undying love, or at least I will be very very happy!