Heaven Forbid

He dropped his head on the table deciding that this heartache wasn't worth it. He saw her again last night. She disappeared in the morning, as usual. Predictable. She didn't have the guts to stay and confront him, or maybe it was the fact that he kept telling her not to come back; and yet she does it anyway.

He mumbled, "Fuck it!" he was sick and tired of getting fucked over in the end. He couldn't just sit back and let her wrestle with his heart. She left him back in Stars Hollow. And now she's back, and not alone. But she was very much the old Rory he once knew. The one he fell in love with. God, what an idiot he was.

A lesson, he thought bitterly, she needs to be taught a lesson. The side of his mouth quirked up into that infamous smile. In the end, she'll get hurt. She'll go back to her jackass of a boyfriend, Logan. And he can move on with his life, finally.

The knock on the door came unexpectedly. He didn't think she would come so soon. The night before left him feeling hazy and disorientated. He remembered opening the door then Rory's mouth on his before he could even react to her being at his apartment. After that, the pleasure and the pretense that Rory was his, and only his, took over. The need to make her forget her other life and surrender to him blew all other explanations from his mind.

He won't get hurt this time. He slowly got up and stalked to the door. Throwing it open he scared the person on the other side. He heard a light yelp. He fixed his eyes on her, dressed in a pair of black pants, a blue blazer, and converses, she was taunting. Her beautiful brown hair lay in a loose knot on the side of her neck.

"Jesus Jess, you scared me." Rory's angelic voice broke through the haze. He scowled. She took a step back.

"What are you doing here? I don't remember inviting you here." he spat out. Her eyes widened. He took great pleasure in seeing the hurt settle into her eyes a second later as the astonishment fled.

"I wanted to come visit." Her eyes sparkled from the sun coming through the window, they glowed.

"What you wanted was a fuck. You know you have a boyfriend for all this?" Aggravated, he closed his eyes and leaned his head back. Reopening them he found tears spilling down her cheeks, and yet, he felt no guilt. She brought this on herself. "That's the reason you won't leave the safe security of your boyfriend. Remember? You don't want me, but you don't want to be with him, either. Apparently he's not a good enough fuck if you keep crawling back to me. But clearly I'm not good enough for anything else, 'cause you keep going back to him. Right?"

"Why are you doing this?" her voice was less than a whisper, but he heard it. He turned, got his jacket and stepped into the hallway. She was uneasily biting her lip, and it reminded of him of when she nibbled on his ear, moaning so softly that you had to strain to hear, and that moment, nothing else mattered. Reality came screaming back into the dim light of the hall.

"I'm leaving. Go fuck my next door neighbor or something, maybe he'll be the perfect blend of me and your rich boy. Heaven forbid, you end up alone! You'll never be able to figure out why either."

"Jess...I..." that was as far as she got, Jess was already gone. This time, maybe forever.

Later that night

Jess trudged his way back up to his apartment. He felt like such an ass, why did he open his mouth and say the whole neighbor thing? Rory will never forgive him for that. "Maybe it is best if she doesn't." He thought out loud. He ran his hand through his hair, that action did nothing to lessen the scowl or the grim lines on his face.

He unlocked the door and was relieved to find he had the place to himself. Sometimes Rory would take the spare key from above the door, and surprise him when he got back from work.

This time, things would be better, that he would feel better for letting her go, he thought. What more can he do? He can't change her mind about being with him, nor does he have the energy to go into that discussion with her again. She bit his head off last time. He didn't dare suggested that she should stay with him and leave Logan, again. She'd left early that morning and he hadn't see her for a month. The day she had come back, she was in tears because her and Logan got into an argument over something or other.

"UN-fucking-believable!" He turned and stepped on an envelope. His name was scribbled on the front. He recognized Rory's handwriting and didn't bother opening it. He left it on the kitchen counter and tried to relax as he let the sensation of being home soothe him.

It just wasn't worth it anymore. The need to beat the crap out of Logan, and to rescue Rory from his evil clutches wouldn't release form him. It hurt too much to think that after she left him, she went home and spread her legs for Logan. It's not like they were married, she just didn't have the courage to stand on her own, not even with Jess by her side. Especially not with Jess! She was afraid of having her happily ever after.

He recalled hearing her mumble about it after one of there 'been gone too long sexcapades'. She had checked if he was sleeping, then said "I'm afraid of leaving him, I really am. I'm afraid that if I did leave him, and come here to be with you, it wouldn't be all I thought it could be. It wouldn't be the happily ever after that I have always dreamed of. I'm not truly happy with Logan. I am here, but I just don't know why I can't bring myself to leave him. I know how much I hurt you every time I leave...," she paused, and he had heard her take a sharp intake of breath, like she was trying to experience his pain, but it did nothing. Not for her, or for him. "but, I cant stop myself from coming here either. I love you, I always have. I'm sorry… I'm so sorry that neither of us will get our happily ever after."

He knows that he'll never love again, and as depressing as that thought was, it was the truth. He fell in love with Rory back in Stars Hollow when he first moved there, and they had been together. But then she left him the summer before graduation. She done it with a letter, saying that she couldn't stay with him. That she needed something more; that she didn't need him anymore. That year he lost everything he'd gained.

They had run into each other a couple of months ago at a bookstore, here in New York. She had come to visit 'The Big Apple' as she used to call it. He'd been browsing for a book that he had lent her a long time ago, and never gotten back.

"Jess, is that you?" she'd asked surprised.

"Yes." He turned to her, nodded then walked out the door. She followed him all the way home. Which unfortunately wasn't very far, maybe he could have gotten luck and she'd given up or he could of lost her if it was further. And so in the end she engrained his address and all other information she wanted of him to memory. Lucky him.

"Why are you following me?" he looked back and saw that she had stopped and was staring at him.

"I wanted to say I was sorry for the letter. I didn't mean to cause you any hurt."

"Well, you didn't. Good- bye." He walked up the stairs and let himself into the apartment. She didn't follow him. Good.

A couple days later, she showed up at his apartment, breathing heavily. He had opened the door and was instantly crushed by her lips on his. He tried pulling away, but something kept calling out to all of his senses that this felt, smelled and tasted right. He ended up pulling her against him, and taking her right then and there up against the wall.

She'd left a few hours later, with another apology and a promise for another round, whenever she was back in town. If ever he'd thought. They had both decided that there was no use discussing there private lives with each other. They hadn't even talked in so long. Why bother letting her in again? Or worst yet reminiscing over the past. He'd found out a month later, that she had a boyfriend. She thought he was asleep when her cell phone went off, and was stupid enough to think it was safe enough to answer.

He rolled over onto his side and glared at her when she finally turned back to him after ending the call. The first, last, and only words out of his mouth were "Get out, and don't come back." She quickly had gotten dressed and left. But knowing Rory, there she was reappearing in his life the very next day, with yet another apology and more excuses. Too bad he'd fallen for her lies. Too bad he'd fallen for her.

He went to his bedroom and started stripping out of his clothes; he fell face first onto the bed. A few moments later, he was dead asleep.

The next day

Jess woke up early the next morning to a knocking on his door. He rolled out of bed, pulled on his boxers and padded to the door. The thought that Rory might be on the other side didn't cross his mind. Jess opened the door and Rory's face was right there, so very close, so very tempting.

He frowned, "What are you doing here? Didn't you hear me yesterday? Don't come back here." he was about to close the door, when her foot shot out and stopped it. She pushed it open, and started looking on the floor.

"Didn't you get my letter? I put it under the door." she kept searching, avoiding his gaze, and his sexy half-nakedness. He looked around himself, forgetting where he put the letter that she was yammering on about.

"I'll try this again. What are you doing here?" He tipped her chin up and saw tears in the corners of her eyes. His face softened a degree. Dammit! She's getting to me again, he thought, "Why are you crying?"

"Because I feel so stupid coming here. You didn't even read the letter. I just...ugh..." she ranted on. Her voice going up a notch. Her lips parted, her tongue darting in and out to moisten them.

"I'll get the damn letter." He retrieved the letter from the counter and went into the living room to try and make himself comfortable on the worn out old couch. He opened the envelope…

Dear Jess,

I'm sorry, for all that I have done. I never meant to hurt you. I truly didn't. I just kept thinking about everything that I have done to you. Leaving you, I thought I didn't need you anymore. I thought I could make it out on my own. I did make it. But I still needed you.

I was all alone for so long, and then I met Logan. I thought I fell in love, but he's nothing like you are. He doesn't make me smile the way you can, or make me so horny I can't see straight. I just...needed some company. I didn't care who it was at the time.

And then you came back into my life. And it felt like my life was right again. You made me want too many things; things I know I shouldn't by longing for while with someone else. My head was spinning so fast I thought it would fall off. I wanted you in my life. I didn't care how, or why, I just knew I couldn't let you go, like I did last time.

I fell in love with you all over again. I couldn't stop myself. I didn't want to either. It was amazing all the times we had. But I've finally decided the life I was leading, wasn't the right life for me. What you said yesterday 'Heaven forbid, you end up alone. You'll never know why either.' I don't want it to be like that. I want to be with you. Not be 80 years old and know that I ruined again when I didn't come back to you, like I am going to do in the morning. I'm leaving in a couple of minutes for the bus to New Haven. I need to discuss these things with Logan. And when I come back and you don't want me, I promise I wont go back to him. I don't think I deserve him. I know I don't deserve you. I just know that I love you and only you. And I am truly sorry.


He finished the letter and glanced at Rory who shifted from one foot to the other. Her face was red, and her eyes sparkled. She kept tugging her hair behind her ear, like she used to when they were younger.

Rory looked up and stared him straight in the eye. She was serious about this. More so than she had ever been about anything. She was insane, but serious, "I broke up with Logan yesterday. My mother was happy, she preferred you to rich boy any day of the week." she smiled slightly.

Jess got up and walked towards her, " You're serious, you aren't lying to me? You want to be with me, honestly?" his voice held surprise and awe.

"Of course, it was always you, Jess."

He watched her for a second, satisfied that she was telling the truth, then decided to do something unexpected. He tipped her chin up and crashed his lips against her. Her moan told him she liked it, a lot. She immediately wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing closer.

Jess wound his arms around her waist, pulling her closer, until she can feel the hardness pressing against her thigh. He started to unbutton her blazer, it made it onto the floor in record time. Rory propelled her foot backwards, awkwardly closing the door then moving back against it. Locking it, tight.

He pulled away only when oxygen was becoming a necessity. Breathing heavily, they leaned against each others foreheads. Jess's hand skimmed her neck, sending shivers running down her back. He moved down and began to nibble on her ear; her most sensitive spot. She moaned, and arched against him, cuddling his erection with her body. He hissed, and sucked a spot on her collarbone.

Rory decided to partake in some teasing herself. She started leaving butterfly kissed on Jess's naked chest, feeling his muscles flex every time she brushed against him. She took a nipple into her hand and twisted until he cried out her name. Rory smiled and enjoyed doing it again and again. He made her stop by pulling her shirt up and over her head. He cupped her breasts, her nipples straining against the flimsy fabric of her bra. Of course, her teasing didn't end there. She moved her hands down stopping at the top of his boxers; she ever so slowly removed those.

Jess turned Rory around and slipped off her jeans. They got caught on her converses, and she almost toppled over. She giggled. Jess thought, 'I did that'. He smiled and leaned her against the wall, and moved down to take off her hap hazardous shoes. He tugged her backwards, toward the sanctity of his bedroom. He pushed her down and pinched her rosy pink nipples. She cried and arched into his head.

"Jess!" she moaned out as her head lolled side to side. She was biting her lip with her eyes shut tight. Jess almost came then and there.

She opened her eyes when she realized Jess had stopped, "What's wrong?"

"You are so beautiful. I'm sorry I didn't tell you that more." She grinned up at him, then pulled him down to her. She wrapped her legs around his lean waist, and attacked his mouth with hers.

His hand brushed the seam of her underwear, he removed them and cupped her sex, rubbing her sensitive swollen clit, and pushing a finger deep into her slit. She groaned, and grabbed his hair, demanding he suck her nipple. Her nails scraped his back, and she left bruises on his neck.

"Please, give it to me, Jess. I want you." she whispered in a husky voice. He responded with an even huskier voice, " Oh, I will give it to you all right. Don't you worry about that."

He touched her everywhere. They explored each other bodies until they couldn't take it anymore. Rory guided Jess into her body. She threw her head back, and screamed at the sheer pleasure of something so big, that fit so right. Jess ground his teeth. Aware that he was dangerously close to losing himself.

He withdrew out of her almost completely, only to slam back into her. She screamed in ecstasy, and he did it again. Torturing her for all those times she'd teased him, all those times she left him alone with no more than a book to occupy his time. He was getting back at her for everything she'd done wrong, and oh lord, did it feel good he thought whimsically.

Rory sank her nails deep into his back, arching into him did nothing to stop the warmness from spreading inside her. Sweat was gathering on there bodies. The cruel way he was taking her, too deep. She knew she was tightening involuntarily. But it felt too good to stop now. She wanted to ride this out until the storm stopped.

He thrust in and out of her until he felt her clenching tightly around him. She screamed his name when she came. And he moaned he loved her as he joined her. He fell ragged on top of her, then rolled to his side, bringing her with him.

"I love you," she whispered into his ear " I'm sorry, for everything."

"I love you too, and same. "

Jess fell asleep with the gnawing feeling that when he woke up, she wouldn't be there, again. She fell asleep moments later, wondering what she should make him for breakfast when she got up.

A/N: It has been re-edited thanks to my friend Melanie. I hope everyone likes the new edited version.