So its a late b-day sue me. . Here's a sucky oneshot for Iruka and Naruto. Enjoy and Please review :P

Check out Dead or Alive

warning: I don't own nor do I profit. Shonen ai./language warning

"Hey, sensei wanna go out with me?" Naruto shook his head.

"Hello Iruka, are you free for dinner?" Naruto once again looked at the fake smile that reflected to him in the mirror.

"Ruka-chan, I have this extra movie ticket to-- damn!" Naruto fixed his hair for the third time that morning and headed back into his room where he jumped, well fell, face first into the mattress. He'd been thinking of asking Iruka out on a date since he'd turned 18 just that day and it was now legal to do so.

"Its my birthday. Do you want to hang out with me?" Naruto shook his face again at the mumbled sentence.

"Can I have you as my present?" Naruto laughed at the cheesy line. "Let me fuck you Iruka." Naruto smiled at that one.

"You want to do what to who now?" Kakashi pushed open the already slightly ajar door.

"Ah! What are you doing here?" Kakashi smiled at the boy.

"Well, nice to see you too." He threw the boy a small box. "Happy birthday Naruto."

"Oh, thank you Kakashi-sensei." Naruto opened the box slowly and peeked inside. All three volumes of Icha Icha in mint condition sat at the bottom of the box. "You shouldn't have."

Kakashi smiled.

"No really, you shouldn't have Iruka is gonna think I'm a pervert." Naruto smiled back at his teacher and placed the books in his drawer before locking it again.

"You are a pervert. I just heard what you told your invisible teacher." Kakashi smiled even more as he leaned against the side of the door.

"I just don't know how to do it." Naruto sat up again and rubbed his hair for the nth time that morning.

"Well, why don't you practice it?" Kakashi walked into the room and took a seat next to Naruto on his disheveled bed.

"I was. It doesn't work out too well."

"I mean make a clone and transform him into Iruka. I'm sure being 'face to face' with his face will help you face your fear of facing him." Kakashi shook his head. He was too funny in his head sometimes.

Naruto looked over at Kakashi and waited for the chuckling to stop. "Funny."

"Aren't I?" Kakashi stood again and looked at Naruto's wall clock.

"Maybe I'll try it." Naruto formed a shadow clone and made him transform into Iruka.

"Or you could just take advantage of your clone and then come to Iruka with a cool head." Kakashi smirked evily.

"That would be gross. Its still me after all." Naruto placed his hand on Iruka-clone's face. "He is pretty though."

"Yup he sure is." Kakashi invited. "Well, I have to go. Have a good one Naruto. We're having a surprise party for you at Sasuke's house so don't be late to whatever lame excuse Sakura makes up for you this year."

"Oh yeah. We have a chess tournament there this year." Naruto smiled and was glad his friends went through the trouble of planning a surprise party even though they knew Kakashi always spoiled it by reminding him not to be late.

"Oooh creative." Kakashi then disappeared into thin air and left Naruto alone with his clone.

"Okay Iruka-sensei, go outside and knock on the door. Then we'll practice." Naruto led his clone out the front door. He waited patiently until his fake Iruka knocked on the door.

"Naruto! Happy birthday!" Naruto opened the door and pushed the clone back out.

"He would never say that. He'd be nicer and would be quieter than that, but I'll practice one line with you anyways." Naruto cleared his throat and began.

IxNxIxNxIxN On the other side of the street at Iruka's apartment. IxNxIxNxIxN

Iruka sat wrapping a small gift for Naruto. He was sure the orange yukata would get Naruto's attention. He suddenly noticed movement coming from Naruto's apartment. He saw the boy open the door for himself. Iruka looked down at his body and realized he wasn't at Naruto's door. He then watched as Naruto invited the imposter in.

"No, that's not me!" Iruka screamed through the closed window. He took his weapons and watched for movement in the apartment. After waiting for about 3 minutes the door opened and Naruto pushed the fake Iruka out.

"Oh, thank God. I knew Naruto would be smart enough to not--" He stopped midsentence as he noticed Naruto was opening the door again for the faker who had just knocked on it.

"Naruto not again! Don't fall for it." Iruka was now strapping his holster on his leg and filling his pouch with weapons.

Naruto let the clone in again and this time hugged him eagerly as if it were the first time seeing the imposter. Iruka let out a groan once he realized the fake him was outside again.

"What the hell is going on?" Iruka grabbed his keys and headed across the street. He noticed as once again non-Iruka knocked and was let in. "Jeez Naruto, don't be so dense. You're cute as hell, but I swear you're so dumb sometimes." Iruka cleaned his sweating forehead and hid behind a bush as he noticed the door opening again. He tucked the box into his vest and was ready for action once Naruto closed the door.


It was closed. Iruka leap from the tree and tied the clone effectively and quickly. He hid the body under Naruto's hedge and jumped back on the balcony. He knocked on the door and waited for Naruto to open up.

"Good morning, Naruto. How are you this morning? Are you hungry?" Iruka smiled pleasantly at Naruto.

"Great! That was right on too!" Naruto reached for Iruka's hand and pulled him into the room.

"Okay my turn." Naruto began speaking.

"Your turn?" Iruka whispered to himself.

"Iruka-sensei, well, Iruka since I hope to drop the sensei part soon. I've known you for a long time and I really would like if you'd go out with me. No, if you'd be my boyfriend. Dammit I fucked that up! Just let me fuck you and I'll die happily." Naruto smiled at the perplexed Iruka standing before him. "Okay lets try that again. Your intro was good this time." He reached for the clueless teacher and pushed him out the door. "Knock again and we'll do it one more time."

Iruka wrinkled his face in confusion. He looked over the balcony to the clone. "Are you Naruto's bunshin?" The clone nodded. "Oh, god he thinks I'm you, well, him." The door opened as he was talking.

"Hurry up and knock I have to get ready." Naruto said as he popped his head out wearing only his pants.

"Right." Iruka knocked at the door not knowing what else to do. "Morning Naruto. Did you sleep well?" Naruto removed his pants and nodded. "Good job." He reached for his jeans and slipped them on while Iruka practically drooled. "So, I was thinking if you aren't busy Iruka I'd like to go out to dinner with you. Then fuck you senseless." Iruka grinned.

"How was that?" Naruto slipped on his shirt. "I'll leave out the last part though. I doubt he wants to move that fast, if he wants to move at all."

"He does." Iruka answered quickly.

"Thanks. I'd appreciate it more from his lips though." Naruto slipped on his jounin vest and rested his hand on Iruka's shoulder. "Thanks for the practice. You can mingle around town if you want. I don't care. Don't let Iruka find you though." Naruto opened the door and left Iruka standing slightly aroused.

IxNxIxNxIxN At Sasuke's Place IxNxIxNxIxN

"Oh guys I had no idea!" Naruto placed his hands on his face in surprise as he saw the rookie nine and Gai's team along with all the teachers and Iruka standing behind the door.

"Kakashi told you again didn't he?" Sasuke asked his face dimming slightly.

"Yeah he told me this morning." Naruto said with a laugh in his voice. He waved at everyone and walked right in.

"Happy birthday Naruto." Naruto nodded at the direction of the voice. It was Iruka and he was blushing. Cute.

"Thank you Iruka-sensei." Naruto stood up from his seat and walked towards his ex-teacher.

"You can drop the sensei now. We're all adults after all." Iruka smiled and hoped that Naruto would ask him soon.

"Naruto," Neji stood behind Naruto and waited for him to turn. "happy birthday." Neji took a step back when he realized how close he was standing to Naruto.

"Thanks." Naruto hugged Neji and left the older boy stunned in his place.

"Sure, I wanted to give you my present before anyone else." Neji handed him a box that was wrapped in a light orange color.

"You didn't have to."

Iruka had walked away from that conversation early on. He ended up in the kitchen with Kakashi. He must have been trying to burn a hole through Neji.

"Do you like him that much?" Kakashi confronted him.

"Like who?" Iruka leaned nonchalantly on the fridge.

Don't play dumb. I saw that look." Kakashi teased.

"So I like him." Iruka admitted.

"Then go. He likes you too you know."

"Yeah I know. I accidentally found out this morning."

"How?" Kakashi was now very interested. He noticed how Iruka's eyebrow twitched every time Naruto laughed with Neji or touched his arm in a feather touch.

"He confused me for his clone and asked me out. I had to play along." Iruka took a sip of his drink and watched Neji even closer.

"Why didn't you admit it was you?"

"I didn't want to embarrass him. He said something a bit inappropriate." Iruka reddened as he thought of those words escaping Naruto's words.

"Oh, you heard that too?" Kakashi continued to watch Iruka's face twitch at every move.

"Maybe I should ask him out since I'm older." Iruka pondered to himself.

"Practice with his clone. That way you're ready." Kakashi nodded as if he had the brightest idea ever.

"I should. Can you cover for me? I'll be back in an hour." Kakashi nodded again and waited for Iruka to leave. It would appear Iruka didn't know that as soon as the clone was destroyed all memories of it would return to the real Naruto. Kakashi chuckled evilly to himself and returned to the living room where he excused Iruka to everyone.

"I was hoping he'd stay longer." Naruto finally said.

"He's returning he just had something to take care of."

IxNxIxNxIxN Back Near Naruto's Place IxNxIxNxIxN

"Do me a favor." Iruka untied the clone and let him stand.

"What?" Fake-Iruka questioned.

"Turn back into Naruto. I need some practice too." Iruka took a deep breath and made the clone follow him home.

IxNxIxNxIxN At the Party IxNxIxNxIxN

"He's back." Kakashi pulled open the door and let Iruka in.

"Hi." Iruka waved and noticed everyone was playing a familiar mat game. Naruto was under Neji in a very provocative position and the long haired boy didn't seem to mind having Naruto so close. Then again who would?

"Care to join?" Neji asked almost uninvitingly.

"I'll watch." Iruka took a seat and watched as one by one everyone was disqualified. Everyone that is except Neji and Naruto.

"I think we need cake." Iruka stood up and hoped the game would end soon.

"I haven't won yet." Neji eyed his competition, who at the time was Iruka.

"You aren't going to." Iruka whispered.

"Thanks for the confidence!" Naruto spun one more time and moved accordingly.

"Naruto, if you win I'll treat you to an all you can eat ramen dinner." Neji bribed.

"If you win?" Neji smirked. "You'll have to be my slave on my birthday."


Iruka almost fumed and everyone in the room noticed the obvious twitch except Naruto. Instinctively Iruka pushed both of the boys down until they were both on the mat. "Well you both lost. Shall we have cake?" Iruka walked away into the kitchen leaving a very confused Naruto on the floor.

"What just happened?" Naruto stood up and looked around the room.

"Naruto, I think now is the time." Kakashi winked noticeably at Naruto.

"Right." Naruto dispelled his clone and suddenly memories flooded his mind.

oOoOo Memories of a clone oOoOo

Naruto opening the door.

Naruto closing the door.

Naruto opening the door.

Naruto closing the door.

Naruto opening the door.

Naruto closing the door.

Being tied by the real Iruka.

Being thrown into a bush.

Listening to the inside conversation.

Being untied by Iruka.

Being bribed by Iruka.

Iruka confessing his feelings to the clone.

Iruka asking the clone to kiss him once for practice.

oOoOo Back in the norm oOoOo

"Woah!" Naruto rubbed his suddenly sore lips. He ran into the kitchen to Iruka.

"Hey, sorry about what I did." Iruka looked up at Naruto.

"I know what you did with my clone." Naruto teased.

"What? How? I mean I don't know what you're talking about!" Iruka pushed himself against the drawers and leaned back as Naruto leaned forward.

"I saw all his memories. Which means you also know I like you." Naruto blushed slightly and looked down.


"So, does that mean my cheesy lines won't work on you?" Iruka smiled at Naruto and brought him into a hug.

"Maybe the cheesy ones won't work, but I'll let you fuck me." Iruka said teasingly.

Naruto chuckled a bit. "Oh, you heard that right?" Iruka closed his eyes as he smiled.

"Loud and clear." Iruka nodded.

"So, sensei will you go out with me?" Naruto finally asked without noticing the audience.

"I'd love that. I heard from somebody you wanted me for your birthday so happy birthday Naruto." Iruka leaned his forehead to touch Naruto's.

"Aww!" Everyone clapped and embarrassed Naruto even more.

"Stop it. Its not that cute." Iruka threw a piece of cake at Kakashi. "You better not tell my students! Or Tsunade-sama. Kakashi who are you calling?!" Iruka tried to get out of Naruto's grip.

Naruto leaned in to his forced hug and whispered to Iruka. "I'm legal."

Iruka's eyes went wide, his mouth silent and then he understood. "Well, then happy birthday to me too."