What? Another installment already? What can I say, it's spring break!

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springchild- Thanks so much! And thanks so much for the PM! I'd forgotten about this here story until you sent me a PM, so thanks a bunch :)
Alison- only time will tell
wolf- thanks so much! I love to hear that!!!

December 13, 2006

I am so ready for Christmas! I've always loved Christmas. It's the one time a year where people give you tons of presents, but the spotlight isn't all on you. Birthdays are okay, but it's like, everyone's always calling you and talking to you and all of a sudden you're on display for the whole world to see. I hate being on display. I'd rather just blend in. Christmas is perfect for that because you get all the love and all the presents, but less of the spotlight. You don't have to dress up and be cute because everybody's going to be staring at you all day. You just have to be. And there's no added expectation of having a perfect day. And what the hell do people mean by, this is "your day"? People always say that to me on my birthday. "Have a great day! This is your day!" So, wait a minute, why am I even here the other 364 days of the year? I was under the impression every day was mine to live. That's why I say Christmas is better than birthdays… well, at least one reason.

Christmas is really fun at the Beesly house. Well, that's not really true… I think it's just normal. It's the one time a year where Daddy doesn't get on the computer or go out to play golf, and where my sister doesn't lock herself in her room painting her nails, and where the food is always good. I sound like I live at home. I don't. I just really appreciate going home for Christmas and waking up to sweet rolls Christmas morning, and opening my stocking and opening my presents and taking pictures with my family and just having time together. I miss them, even though I don't like to admit it. Oh! And another reason Christmas trumps birthdays—you get work off! Every time. No question. And you get a party. It's like a given. And nobody sings to you!

So the countdown is twelve days. Twelve days until Christmas! I am like a little kid. I am just so ready to be off work for a few days! And this year, Christmas is on Friday, and Christmas Eve is Thursday, so we get Thursday and Friday off! Four days straight! Normally I don't mind working, but lately I feel like it's been pulling teeth, just the experience of being there is. I don't know what it is, but I used to feel like there was a reason to go to work. Not that I think my work is really helping the world or changing people's lives or anything… I mean, all I do is answer the phone. But I still had fun at work most days. Yeah, a lot of them were boring, but there were little spaces in the day where I could talk to friends, or I played games or paid my bills, played pranks or something… There always seemed to be something to redeem my day. Some little break… but now I feel like my friends aren't quite the same.

I mean, obviously I'm still friends with people at work. I've always got Kevin, Phyllis, or Oscar, or heaven forbid, Angela… It just feels different. I mean, Jim's my best friend at work, and probably always will be. We've just got too much in common for anyone else to really usurp him (isn't that a cool word? Usurp!) regardless of what happens in our relationship. But things have been different lately… He's got this new girlfriend, and at first I didn't like her… I mean, she's pretty and she's nice, I suppose… She's got a bit of an edge to her. She's not exactly what I would have envisioned for Jim as someone he'd be with, but I don't really know if he's even thinking long-term or anything. We don't talk about Karen much… And I'm starting to like her more… I just had to get over the jealousy factor… I mean I'm not jealous that she's dating Jim… It's more like, I miss my best friend. And I'm jealous that she gets to spend time with him. But anyway, I decided to make more of an effort to be friendly with her. Not that I'm an unfriendly person, by any means, but I just figured it's more fun if we are friends, right? It'll be better for all three of us. I think Jim is a little put off by it, but oh well. I like Karen, and we're getting along well enough…

Like today, we threw our Christmas Party together. It was really fun! Angela normally takes the party planning, which is ridiculous because she has more work to do than I do, and she's not even that good at it… I just feel like Angela and parties don't really miss… Anyway, end tangent. Karen and I threw a Christmas party just to piss Angela off, really. And it was fun! We had a margarita party and a karaoke machine and it was really great. Then we ended up combining the parties, which was even better because then we got Angela's brownies too, and those things are freaking phenomenal.

So, I'm just sitting, waiting for Christmas. Cause I'm a little kid at heart. I'm excited about the new year, too. I have a feeling 2007 will be a good year. I say this every December and so far I think every year has been a good year! So I think it works. But I don't know, maybe there will be something different this year, I feel like there's something new coming, and I'm excited about it. I think I might take an art class next semester, too. I'm thinking about it… Watercolor, maybe. I don't know. We'll see.

"An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves." – Bill Vaughan

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