Disclaimer: Apart from the 10 seasons on DVD and the SG-1 official licensed patch, I own nothing.
Rating: MA - Sex...basically :)
Spoiler: Emancipation, Beneath the Surface
Warning: Major Character Death.
This is what happens when you watch Pompeii followed by lashings of Stargate...taken me close to 3 weeks to write, but its done! Okay, so there is actually plot to this story...actually theres no plot at all really...-giggles-.
Was listening to The Corrs last night and found Breathless, somehow seemed appropriate to include those lyrics.
You always tell yourself later, or tomorrow or soon. 'I'll do this later.', 'Tomorrow, I'll tell him tomorrow.', 'Soon, soon I will tell him.' What happens when you don't get a later, when you don't get your tomorrow. What happens when all you have left is this moment. This one moment in time, when you are looking down tunnel as the white light comes rushing towards you, and all you can do is pray to God that its not a train, this one moment in time when you see your lifes achievements, what you experienced, what you felt, the mistakes you made, the regret at things that you continually put off because you were going to do it tomorrow. When you had been going to do it tomorrow for 7 years. That was the dilemma that I was faced with now. I didn't have a tomorrow. This time, there would be no miracle rescue, there would be no way out. All we had left was the knowledge that this was it. Our final moment. SG-1's last battle. Daniel had been lost when the first tremors struck, deep within the mountain that the long gone inhabitants of this planet had used as a cache, of weapons, of technology and of knowledge.
We knew it was a Volcano, the first scans had indicated that it was, but it appeared to be dormant. I'm not sure what happened, but one minute Daniel was reaching for a crystal stone on a pedestal, the next we were spluttering and covering our heads as rocks rained down on us, desperately trying to seek cover as the ground shook and rumbled beneath us. Teal'c had been lost next, when we were trying in vain to find Daniel, even though we knew all we would find would be a body, we needed to take him home with us, to farewell him the way he so richly deserved. The mountain had rumbled again, a deep shudder that had rippled through the floor with a terrifying strength, I had seen the large chunk of rock shudder on the pile then begin to tumble towards me, my body frozen in fear as I was suddenly thrust aside, a heavy weight landing on me, covering my body with his own as the rumble subsided.
"Carter…we have to go!"
"Sir…Daniel!" I protest shoving at his chest, forcing him off me before I staggered to my feet.
The Colonel stared at me through tired eyes, before he swept his gaze across the room, straining through the dim light and the dust that had filled the air searching for Teal'c, panicked when he did not see him. "Carter…"
"Can't find him sir." I reply, knowing what he was about to ask, my heart sinking in my chest as I find no trace of the tall Jaffa in the room.
I watch helplessly as Jack called into his radio again and again, as he pushed uselessly at the huge pile of rocks, frustration evident in his body as he pummeled and kicked at the rocks, and with one last heave he leant against the rock that had buried his two best friends, his arms quivering with the exertion as I felt the mountain being to rumble once more. "Sir, we have to go!" I scream at him, beginning to tug on his jacket as the intensity began to increase.
He whirls around with panic and desperation filling his eyes as he stares at me, an answer on his lips before he rethinks steeling his jaw as he beings to sprint towards the exit, the rumbling still increasing, stronger and longer than any before as the cavern caved in behind us, rocks tumbling down the twisting path as we continued to run. "Do you know where we are going?" He gasps out as we turn left.
"I thought you did!" I shout at him as we come to a dead end, the rocks blocking our only way out as another tremor shook the mountain the sound of breaking and falling rock behind us the most terrifying sound of all as we both whirled around, only to be confronted with falling rock, our exit blocked as I feel the Colonel grab my lapel and drag me into a crevice the rocks already tumbling past the opening, slowly building upon the other until it was completely covered. Trapped. Deep within the bowls of a mountain, on a planet light years from home…and no way of escape.
The crevice is tight, just enough room for us both as we shuffle around on the ground, trying to get comfortable before the Colonel suddenly pulls me into his laps, holding me close to his body as I realise that I am crying, the tears pouring freely down my face, the loss of Daniel and of Teal'c almost as painful as losing him, as he rubs my back soothingly, uttering no words but simply comforting me in the only way he could…the only way he knew how, by simply being there.
There is no way out. I know this, and he knows this as well. There will be no miracle rescue this time, this is it for us. I once said I would have no regrets if I died. I lied back then, and I can't do that again. Not to him, and not to myself, I've denied this for so long, what I feel for him I mean, that…its almost like second nature to do it, to shake my head and glare angrily at Daniel when he would bring it up, restate the regulations, state that he's my CO and its unprofessional to feel that way about him. But I never actually came out and said that I didn't love him. I guess that deep down I could never really deny my heart. And now, in this final moment, standing at the entrance to that tunnel with only one way to walk down it, deep down I know I love him, and that I cannot deny my heart any longer. Because, for us, we will never have that tomorrow, where we wake up and the regulations are no longer a problem, and we sit on that damned dock of his in Minnesota and fish, coz I finally said yes to his invitation and to my heart.
I lift my head from where it has been comfortably nestled against his warm chest and look him fully in the eye, the tears of despair having long since dried. "Jack," I begin, his name on my tongue foreign to us both as he looks straight back at me, his dark brown eyes, those beautiful eyes that I love so much boring straight into my soul, "I…I don't want to die with regrets." I state boldly, smiling softly as confusion crossed his face, his hands falling from my spine to rest lightly on my hips as if shock had rendered him motionless.
"Carter…" he begins softly, my name dragged out of his throat with a moan.
"Shut up. I need to tell you this, I have to tell you this, because…because we wont get our second chance this time Jack. I…I'm in love with you, I have since I first met you…I…I just wanted you to know." By now, his hands are gripping tightly at my waist, fingers digging almost painfully into my flesh as his mouth opens in a silent 'o', his breathing almost as shallow as mine as we both wait for the other to make the first move. Then with an act of finality, he trails his fingers up my side to gently cup my face before covering my lips with his own. Time stops, for the longest moment, and the only thing that I think of as he gently caresses my mouth with his tongue, asking for permission, permission which I gladly give as I open my mouth, is that this is Jack O'Neill, the man I love, and he's kissing me. And it's the best damn kiss of my life. Breathless he breaks away, his brown eyes clouded and dazed as if shocked by the power of it.
"Wow." Is all he says as his fingers stroke along my face, sending delicious shivers down my spine as we both struggle to regain our composure. "Carter…Sam," here he stops and takes a deep breath, "I…love you too. Have for the longest time...too much of a chicken to tell you." I chuckle as he flushes in the dim light, embarrassed by his admission.
My hands, which were gripping his shirt tightly, drop the material and move up to touch his face, to ruffle through his hair, to trace along the lines of his face, smoothing the skin, "My brave hero." I whisper as I lean up to kiss him again, harder this time, my tongue thrusting into his mouth automatically as his fingers trail down my neck leaving a trail of fire in there wake and, when they reach the swell of my breasts, covered by the thick material of my BDU jacket the scrabble in frustration before reaching for the zipper, dragging it down with so much urgency that I break away from him, leaning backwards as his hands fall to his sides, shock and apology on his face as he covers his face with his hands.
"Oh god Sam…I…god I'm sorry." He mumbles as he scrubs at his forehead before tugging his own BDU shirt down, trying to cover the evidence of his obvious arousal.
"What for Jack? I started it!" I accuse as my fingers dance over his zipper before dragging it down his chest before he's had a chance to stop me.
"Carter, stop!" he shouts as he hurriedly zips it back up. Frowning in confusion, anger rising in me, I carefully climb of his lap and sit next to him, trying to put as much distance as I can between in the small space. "It's not because I don't want this…don't want you, I just…I just want to do this the right way, the way I've dreamed about, the way I've always wanted too." His words were softly spoken, the beginnings of another tremor shocked us both, it was stronger…louder, harder and lasted longer than any before it.
Reaching over I grab my pack, the bedroll still tied to it and, with some grumbling, poking and prodding I manage to spread it out on the rough stone floor. It was awkward, but I didn't want to remember this for the rocks digging into my back. At first Jack eyed me with confusion, before he got what I was doing and carefully spread his sleeping bag over the bedroll, our BDU jackets making a makeshift pillow.
Shuffling around until I was comfortable, stretched out on the sleeping bag, with Jack kneeling awkwardly next to me, seemingly at a complete loss as to what to do next. I grin reassuringly up at him, before reaching over and giving his hand a gentle tug towards me, encouraging him as he suddenly stretches out next to me, pressing the full length of his body against mine, his hand slipped underneath my shirt and skittered across my skin causing the muscles to quiver and jump under his touch as he pressed his lips against my neck.
Few words were spoken, the ever increasing rumbling of the mountain interspersed only with the softly spoken words of encouragement, ragged moans and soft gasps as we slowly and methodically undress each other, exploring every inch of sweat covered skin with our hands, with our hands and, in Jack's case, with his lips. No part was ignored, we both gave and received equally in pleasure and when the final piece of clothing had been removed, the final barrier that lay between us, the final barrier that prevented us from loving each other, not only in body but in soul as well. Jack raised his eyes to mine, shimmering and shining with unshed tears and carefully shifted his weight and moved to the cradle that I had created for him, and in a voice that I had longed to hear in such a way said my name, "Samantha." With a soft word of encouragement, he carefully positions himself at my entrance, gently pushing himself through my soft folds aided by the wetness that my body had eagerly provided for him.
As the head of his penis breached my opening, stretching me further than I expect, my body tenses, stopping his progress as he looked into my eyes. "You okay…I'm not hurting you am I?" he asks me softly, his voice laden with concern as he holds himself above me.
"Just been awhile." I explain, flushing at my own admission as I force my body to relax around him, before I reach up to softly stroke his weathered face as I give a slight nod, encouraging him to continue, wanting him to continue and, to my shame, needing him to continue. I need him, in every sense of the word. I needed to feel him buried deep in my body, needed to hear him as he gasps my name in that single moment where you forget who you and where you are, when all you see, smell and feel was the body beneath you. "Jack." I gasp out as he pushes further into me, breaking me apart until he is fully sheathed in my body, his hips quivering against mine as he fights for control. Somewhere, deep in my brain, the one part that wasn't on complete sensory overload registered that Jack O'Neill was inside me, his body pressed against me in the most intimate of moments, for the first and only time. And it was that thought that finally broke me, my breath shuddering out of me as tears began to roll out.
"Sam…what is it?" he asks me softly, his voice shaking slightly, trying to hide the strain that his body must be under, holding himself off me like this.
"Just…why do we always wait for life and death situations before we finally admit feeling feelings." And, even as I say it, I can't keep the laughter from my voice, my words dredging up memories of a time years ago when we were not ourselves, but still felt the same. Testament that what I felt for him went way beyond the Colonel persona, even beyond the Jack persona.
"Coz…christ Carter I have no idea…you're the one with the brains…" he mumbles as he shifted his hips slightly. "All I know is that I love you, and…if we are going to die, I don't want to die without you knowing that." He adds as I raise my hands to stroke along the taut muscles of his back, straining under the pressure of holding himself like this. I shift my pelvis and raise my legs to hook tightly around his back, dragging him still further into my body, clearly telling him that the time for words is over.
And, as he begins to move gently, softly drawing out and then pushing back in, ever so slowly building the passion, the mountain continues to rumble and the rock that has us trapped is beginning to warm. The molten lava is close, and as I lose myself in the depths of Jack's beautiful brown eyes, I hope to god that the sulfur reaches us first. "Faster." I mumble as I tilt my pelvis even more, my hands grabbing at the taut globes of his butt as he picks up the pace incrementally, his gaze never once leaving mine as I feel the first tendrils of completion spread out from where we are joined, my body straining towards his as I throw my head back, my back arching as I grip his shoulders my nails digging into his flesh as I convulse and shudder around him, the pleasure so great it's almost painful as I close my eyes against the bright flashes that erupt as my orgasm washes over me like an unstoppable force. Somehow I'm still aware of Jack, his own body straining towards completion as he thrusts inside me, and then, oh god I can feel him as he comes, the strong muscles of his back tensing under my fingers as he presses deep into me, so very deep, as he groans raggedly against my shoulder, his hips twitching helplessly against mine as we both spiral slowly back towards earth, our sweaty and heated bodies still intimately entwined as I stroke my hands along his back, his sides, his arms, anywhere I can reach as he softly nuzzles at my neck with his lips.
"Sam…oh my Sam." He whispers as he gives a sigh, and shifts his weight off me, immediately snuggling into my side as he sighs once more.
My hands are not idle, they continue to slowly stroke the skin that for so long has been forbidden and, as one tangles in the soft silver of his hair, the other reaches out and covers the place where his heart is thumping softly. "My Jack." I whisper as I brush my lips over his forehead and continue to stroke his hair, and ignore the silent tears that roll softly down my face.
For the longest time, neither one of us says anything, we simply lay curled together in an embrace so tight that my knuckles turn white, before Jack begins to speak, first of why he joined the Air Force, then Charlie…then about me, and when he started to realise that he cared about me a little more than was allowed, I was shocked to learn that that was the Turghan incident. All the while the air was getting heavier, thicker and the smell of sulfur was beginning to permeate the cavern, I just pull Jack closer to my body as I begin to talk, about my mum and my reason to join the Air Force, and about Jonas and what he did to me, and the whole time Jack simply listened to me, slowly rubbing my skin when my voice shook when I described what he did, the injuries he inflicted in me, both physically and emotionally. And when my voice finally dimmed all we were left with was the deep rumbling of the mountain, and the knowledge that nothing lay between us any longer, not our fears, not our emotions, not our fast. But with the stark reality that there was very little in front of us, a few hours…perhaps less was all the time we had left.
"Jack?" I mutter after a time, the air was pungent now and the effort required to not gag was immense.
"Mmm?" he replies, barely moving his head as he blinks tiredly at me.
I raise my hand to stroke his face softly, "This is going to sound strange…but can we get dressed?"
"I don't want to die naked." I explain softly as he chuckles against my skin before drawing away to collect our clothes, smiling the whole time as he watches me dress before immediately pulling me back into his arms, wrapping me tightly in his scent as I lay my head over his heart and listen to the steady beat. It's so hot, and despite the sweat that is dripping off us and making our clothes stick to our bodies, neither of us make any attempt to move away, needing the human contact to remind us that, for the time being, we are still alive. And the air, the smell of sulfur is so strong my eyes are watering, or maybe that's tears, I don't know, could be both. I can feel myself grow heavy, as if a great weight is pressing down on my chest and its becoming harder to breathe, every breath is a struggle, but every breath is important because, for that extra second that I live is an extra second wrapped in Jack's arms.
I close my eyes and rest my head over his heart, listening to the rhythm as it slows, one last time.
I feel his hands, those beautiful hands, so rough, so calloused and so capable of pleasure as they still on my body, one last time.
I see his eyes, those soft brown eyes, eyes that I could drown in as they close in sleep, one last time.
I feel the breath leave his body, a soft sigh that washes over my skin and ruffles at my air, one last time.
I feel his heart beat, the heart that I know belongs to me, and only me, one last time.
I touch his face, the worry lines worn into his skin, now slack in never ending sleep, one last time.
I trace his lips, so thin, so soft, so gentle when they whisper over my skin, one last time.
I kiss him, his lips still warm beneath mine but so very still, one last time.
I smile, a soft gentle one because I know it is time, one last time.
I breathe, a deep shuddering breath, one last time.My heart beats...one…last…time…
And if there's no tomorrow
And all we have is here and now
I'm happy just to have you
You're all the love I need somehow
I would love reviews on this, would love to know what you guys think of it. I'm off to see if I can either a) get some more sleep to get rid of this cold or b) finish Moebius - Before the credits rolled.
Either way, there will be a chapter of that uploaded within the next day or so.