MY FIRST FANFIC! PLEASE BE GENTLE. It's NONYAOI Parental! RoyEd. Sorry for all the yaoi fans, but I just…don't do that. Nope.
This fic was inspired by the second closing AMV for Fullmetal Alchemist. At the end, they show Ed and Al standing in the snow. Ed holds out his hands and the snowflakes that land on his normal hand melt, while the snowflakes on his automail hand don't. So this is a snow-induced angst story! Hooray!
This story takes place after Ed kills Greed. Yes, I did a little spin-off digression in which Ed returns to Central for some reason. Let's just say he has to give a report.
Disclaimer: I do not own FMA. If I did, it would not be totally awesome like it is now.
It was the first snow of the season.
Big, fluffy, white flakes fell lazily from the dark indigo sky, strangely glowing through the lack of stars. A thin, frosty white layer already began to cover the grounds of Central.
Edward Elric sighed, looking out the small window of his military dorm. I shouldn't be here, he thought wistfully. Of course Mustang wants me to give a report now, of all times.
Ed could hardly tell he was fidgeting. But his human foot was jiggling uncontrollably, and his body felt strangely tense. He was exhausted now. He should be ready to fall asleep, not on the verge of running out the door all the way back to Dublith, where he knew Alphonse was waiting. But he couldn't help it.
Sighing, Ed gave up trying to be still and calm, and with a groan, heaved himself off the olive green bunk bed in his dorm and into the snowing night.
It was really coming down now. The ground was already blanketed with huge flakes. Ed stood on the side of the streets, looking out into the distance. But he saw nothing but a great wide indigo sky. He was trapped in the surreal, snowing night, making him feel even more depressed than he already was, if possible.
He couldn't believe what he had to do. He couldn't believe he actually did it. There was blood on his hands, and he just sat there dumbly and watched the homonculous suffer and die. He could have gotten help. He could have done anything than just sit there. Ed felt mentally dead for being so stupid.
Colonel Roy Mustang looked out of the doorway and saw the young boy, standing outside with no coat, his shoulders slumped. He sighed. That kid could really be confusing sometimes. Usually he was a loud-mouthed, energetic teenager, but today he had given Roy his report without one insult. It didn't take much observation to know Edward Elric was upset when he didn't openly insult the colonel.
Still, the sight of the boy standing, obviously cold and depressed, in the downpour of snow, tugged on his heartstrings just a little. Should he see what was bothering Ed? Maybe, but the results could be deadly. Still…
Ed began to shiver slightly. Snow was freezing his human hand, turning it slightly purplish. But the snow would always melt, leaving a minuscule pool of water in its place. How he wished both his hands could melt the snow. His automail hand let it pile up. After all, snow didn't melt on cold metal.
Roy watched Ed hold out his hands for some reason. What was that kid doing? Suddenly he realized, Ed was watching the giant flakes of snow fall on the automail, accumulating at a fast pace. His shoulders began to shake, but Roy could tell, from some deep instinct, that it was not from the cold.
Ed's appearance right now could melt the coldest of hearts. Roy had to talk to him.
Cautiously, he approached the boy. Ed took no notice, simply staring into space. Roy felt bad, but he managed to put on one of his signature smirks as he came closer.
"Making yourself sick in the cold, Ed?"
Ed wheeled around to face the intruder. It was Colonel Mustang. What the heck did he want?
"Just go away. I'm not in the mood," said Ed glumly. He turned away again and brushed the snow off of the automail. Roy sighed. Ed was being difficult. However annoying, it was good to know that he still had the determination to be difficult.
"What's bothering you so much, Ed? You didn't scream at any of us today, and that's not usual for you."
"Mind your own business," Ed growled. Danger was etched in the sound of his voice.
It wasn't easy to get Ed to talk. Everyone who had met him knew that. But Roy just wanted to pry him a little more. His subordinate always acted invincible but was far from it.
"Don't call me that!" Ed spat venomously. Roy took a step back, surprised by the reaction. Why was the State Alchemist name affecting him so much now? He had it for four years.
"Fine, Ed," Roy replied. He was starting to get annoyed, but he had to keep prying.
Ed turned away from the colonel once again, crossing his arms, ignoring the searing cold on his chest from the automail arm.
"I have a feeling there was something that happened this time that you didn't put in your report." Roy said it simply, even though he was sure an explosion would soon follow.
He was surprised when he was wrong.
Ed sighed, bowing his head down. He stayed this way for several moments before a weak, robotic voice came out of his mouth.
"Having automail hurts," he said mechanically, in a small voice that shouldn't have escaped him.
Roy's eyes widened as Ed's shoulders began shaking again. He heard a sharp inhale, and Ed continued to speak in the dangerously weak, shaky voice.
"When I was away I…" He looked at Roy suddenly, and his golden eyes said so many things…exhaustion, depression, guilt, and fear. He bowed his head even lower, his blonde bangs managing to block out the haunted eyes.
"I killed someone."
He said it slowly, deliberately. Roy held in his gasp. Ed? Kill someone? Impossible! But he could somehow tell by the guilty, depressed tone of voice that it was not a lie, that Ed had really taken a life.
"Edward." Using only the boy's name, Roy managed to coax him to explain.
"He was a homonculous. The homonculous Greed." Roy nodded. Ed had been after the homonculi, and it was only a matter of time before he had killed one.
"I transmuted my arm into a sword…and stabbed him." Roy looked at the automail arm in slight horror. He could hardly believe simply the boy's limbs can be used to kill someone.
"He…while he was dying…" Ed's voice came to an abrupt halt. Roy had a bad feeling about what was going to come out of the boy's moth.
Ed tried to talk, but no words seemed to come out. Only a small whimper could escape his lips. The sound of that whimper seemed to break Roy's heart. Without knowing what he was doing, he pressed his palm on one of the boy's sallow, trembling shoulders.
Ed whimpered again, this one sounding more than a sob. "While he was dying…he…he…he gave me information on how to beat the homomculi…and…and…he told me to go beat them!" he finished, his voice rising shakily.
Ed spun around to face Roy again, this time tears streaming down his cheeks. Roy had no idea what to do. Obviously Ed was in distress, but how would he help? His mind was telling him to leave Ed in his grief, but a deep parental instinct inside of him had awakened, telling him to comfort the boy. He had no idea what to do.
Ed seemed to urge him to stay by the way he was pitifully trying to wipe the tears away from his cheeks, only replacing them by more, and sobbing like a young child.
Roy took off his jacket and gently draped it over the boy's shoulders, and rubbed the boy's back. He knew this would kill him in the end when Ed remembered this, but all that he cared about was to get Ed to stop crying. It was truly a heartbreaking sound.
Ed half-shocked, half-scared Roy by seizing a handful of his uniform and curling up against his chest. Roy embraced the teen awkwardly at first, but he could tell Ed needed this. He eventually relaxed and laid his cheek against the boy's blonde head, stroking his hair.
Ed's sobs were eventually reduced to whimpers, before eventually reducing to silence. His grip on Roy's uniform slackened, but he did not move away from the older man. He seemed to want to be held just this once.
"…I'm so sorry…" Ed muttered, sounding embarrassed. Roy shook his head.
"Don't apologize. It's okay," he said in a kind voice that didn't sound like his own.
"I've done so much wrong, though…look at Mom…look at Al…"
"Greed would have killed you, Ed. He was a homonculous. It's what he was supposed to do."
"I know…but…but…" Ed stuttered.
"Don't you think that living as someone's sin would have been depressing? Would you want to keep thinking of that every day you're 'alive'?" Roy asked.
Ed looked at the man again. His huge eyes were red-rimmed and watery. Roy reached out and patted his head softly for a while. Ed looked bewildered and confused but still enjoyed the contact nonetheless.
"You and I are alike, Ed. I, too, took many lives, so I understand how you must feel right now. So…if you ever want to talk about it…"
"Thank you," said Ed quietly, looking down.
Roy chuckled. Ed was really good at those facial expressions that made people do things. He should give lessons.
Done, so what do you think? Sorry if the characters are a little OOC…but you know. And it's a little short, but I really wanted to get this posted! Review please, and you get a virtual hug! Or if you don't want one, a virtual handshake. Just review, you get my point! Thanks for reading!