!!!!!THE WIERDEST STORY EVER WRITTEN!!!!!
Disclaimer: I don't own Riddick, sadly, Wolvie, Spike, the turtles or Starfish-who-is-not-starfish. These references are made from Pitch Black, Charlie's Angels, X-Men, Buffy the vampire slayer, the tv series, Men IN Black, Ninja Turtles and the girl down the street. DON'T SEW ME. I OWN LINT!
Once apon a time there lived a dark blond haired girl in a house in a neighborhood. Next door lived one of her best friends who had really really blond hair and on the other side of town living on campus for reasons unknown was her other friend a sassy red head. One day the girls were out on the town on Main Street when four turtles came along with blue, purple, red and orange head bands and one of them was weird so the girls decided to shoot at them. So they stole some guns from the Men In Black universe and were happy with these cool weapons, except for the red head who was pissy she had gotten a little cricket of a gun until she shot it off, then she was overjoyed. So the girls went through the town shooting all they could find, men, women, children, dogs, ect...until they shot off the turtles masks and then noone could recognize who they were anymore since for some reason they dont' talk in this story. Maybe they're mute. Anyhow, in the process, the girls accidentally shot off a really hot platinum blond guys legs and so then he was in a wheelchair with no legs bleeding profusly all the way down main street seeing as how he and the turtles decided to follow the girls to see why they were so wierd. The girls started down the street until they came apon a really weird monster creature that had claws and really huge teeth and a head shaped like a hammer. Then a man came out of nowhere and started fighting the monster and he had a shaved head and goggles and was really hot in those tight black pants and boots and nice black tank top. Then they started shouting, "Go man who's name we do not know! Go man who's name we do not know!" and the man eventually won against the creature by somehow breaking it's odd little neck and the girls ran over and were like, "Hurray for the man who's name we do not know!" The man said his name was Richard B. Riddick and he was 'damned proud' to be an escaped convict and murderer. So the girls called him that, well at first until the sassy red head who wasn't too fond of him started calling him Richard and the dark blond called him Riddick and the really really blond called him Starfish because she calls everyone Starfish, except for Starfish-who-is-not-Starfish, who is actually called Mary's daughter, Katie. So the two blonds (light and dark), the sassy red head, Riddick (Starfish), Starfish-who-is-not-Starfish (she came along too), the man in a wheelchair with no legs bleeding profusly all the way down Main street and the four turtles who's names we do not know because their headbands got knocked off and for some reason they don't speak in this story started down the street until they came apon a huge mansion that was actually in Westchester, New York, though noone was exactly sure how they got from Oklahoma Main street to Westchester in a few seconds, but lets not linger, eh? Then the really really blond girl started going nuts and doing a strange monkey on crack dance in circles to get the doors to open. "Woowoowoowoo!" The dark blond and the red head who were not so stupid knocked on the door. A bald guy opened the door in a cool electric wheel chair and the man with no legs bleeding profusly wished he had one of those. "Welcome to Xavier's School For the Gifted." he said. Then the girls quickly blew him away and walked through the mansion followed by the people who's names are far too long to list since I've said them already, knocking people down until they came to a really cool hot guy who was kinda short and had his dark hair up in two points and was flaunting his body like a muscle man. He said his name was 'Wolverine' he said and the girls called him that except for the really really blond who called him (duh) Starfish. Then the red head insisted on calling him Logan even though noone was quite sure how she knew his name....*dramatic music*. Then the three girls, Wolverine (Starfish), Riddick (Starfish too), Starfish-who-is-not-Starfish, the man in a wheelchair with no legs bleeding profusly and the four turtles who's names we do not know because their head bands got knocked off all linked arms and started skipping down the yellow brick road in a line, which when you think about how narrow the road was and the number of people was actually more like a semi-circle and the man in the wheelchair couldn't really skip, he could only hop on his wheels. So down the yellow brick road which was actually painted orange, but what the hey, they skipped/hopped until the really really blond girl suddenly screamed and ran of into the wild blue yonder. Then the red head ran off with the man in the wheelchair with no legs and had lots of babies in wheelchairs with no legs all named 'Washitooshimap'. The dark blond girl then got the turtles, Wolverine and Riddick and had a baby from the turtles which she named 'Leoraphtellangelo' because she wasn't sure who the father was and then had thousands more babies who were half eye/sun incompatable and half pointy haired wolf man. Then years later when the really really blond girl came back from her extrememly weird and long journey to Mars, she shared the men and the babies with the dark blond and they all lived happily ever after!!!! MORAL OF THE STORY: Never let your friend who is high on monkey crack tell you a bedtime story at three in the morning!