stolen. Little did he know that he was about to receive a call that would make his
nightmare a reality. He got out of bed via double crunches and got a suit out of his
closet. The Vin was used to only wearing simple clothes such as tank tops from the kids
section of good will and large velcro pants, so you can see that this was a major obstacle
to overcome. He was late for work already so there was no time to figure out this
contraption called "the suit". He quickly retrieved some duck tape (not to be confused
with duct tape) and strapped the suit to his body. All of a sudden the phone rang:
BWAAAAAMP. The ring freakishly coincided with an ominous brass hit. A chill shot through
Vin's body reminding him that while taping the suit had him covered on the front his
backside was still exposed.
"This is mission is already impossible!" Vin cried out in anguish. The phone was
conveniently still ringing and so he decided to pick up.
"Is this the Vin"
"Yes, who is this"
"This is someone despicable"
"I've stolen the data"
There was a click on the line as the mysterious bag of scum like contents hung up. Vin's
eyes were wide and he couldn't think straight as he panicked.
"OH NO THE DATA!! I MUST TELL SOMEONE BEHIND A DESK!"
Vin ran out to his car and found himself once again bewildered by one of his possessions.
Frustrated with the hunk-o-junk, he stuck some TNT on the underside and exploded himself to
Meanwhile at Awesome Headquarters, a group of people calmly watched as a flaming ball of
Vin and Car swiftly approached their meeting room. A 10 minute scene of excessive editing,
ridiculously loud sound effects, and over 5 years worth of work in computer animation
occured as Vin made his arrival. He landed in his seat and the wreckage miraculously all
went into the trashcan. Mr. Boss clapped sarcastically using a pair of fish he had stolen
a day prior from a business party.
"You're right on time, Vin. The meeting is over"
"How is that right on time" Vin responded suspiciously.
Mr. Boss leaned toward Vin with a grave look. He thrust out one of the fish accusingly,
"You are a monstrously salacious mouth breather and a wearisome, Internet-addicted plotless
melodrama of uneventful life!!"
Vin knew he was right but remained stone faced.
"Cut the crap Boss, what about the data?"
"You must get it back!"
"No it's not"
Vin couldn't believe Mr. Boss had cut through his masterful manipulative technique of
dialogue. He resigned himself to plan B and glared as hard as he could at Mr. Boss, hoping
that he would explode into flames. Unfortunately, Mr. Boss remained very much not on fire.
"What are you still doing here, it's not as if you need briefing." Mr. Boss was annoyed
that everyone was still there. He desperately wanted to get out his He-Man action figures
and finish his online video series of re-enacting "The Notebook".
Vin realized that although he had told someone in charge about the data dilemma, he had not
told anyone behind a desk as he had so solemnly sworn to do. He ran out of the meeting
room, running to the reception desk. Jimothy was working the desk and currently trying to
give stock market advice over one of his shoes. Vin didn't feel as bad about his suit
since Jimothy was donning a pair of romani slacks on his forehead. He seemed busy so Vin
left a sticky note.
It was time to find the data. Vin left the building and after a few car chases, helicopter
crashes, and enemy casualites of at least 6,494,215, Vin submitted a Barry Manilow cd to
Awesome Headquarters. It wasn't the data, but nobody knew the difference anyway.