LOLSUP GUISE. I'M BAAAAACK.

Sorry. Truely, I am. I was browsing through things in my email, found a few fanfiction emails, died a bit on the inside from guilt eating at me, checked out my fanfiction account, reread whatever sad excuse I had of Balance, magically became motivated, and wrote this short, short chapter in a day.

So if anyone has returned who used to read this, I give a piece of my soul to you and declare my undying love for you. If you have read this before, and are looking at these comments saying, 'Fuck you, Chels. Fuck you.', I really don't blame you

IF YOU'RE A NEWCOMER, PRZ REMEBER: DON'T HAVE HIGH HOPES FOR STORY UPDATES. DON'T. OR YOU'LL END UP LIKE THOSE GUYS. -points at people reviewing story-.

Now enjoy. I'll finish this story, one day. And this is totally not a filler chapter. :c

Warning: Boy(s) being gay, the destruction of baby-making parts, more boys being gay, just gay boys, attempts at humour, strong use of language, misunderstandings, a bit of Deidara!angst, and abuse of the italics button. Enjoy!

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Okay, Sasori, let's try to act rationally here. First, let's analyze the situation and then—

"The hell?!" Sasori broke away from the other's kiss, pushing them to the ground with outrage. Fuck you, conscience; I don't have time to think about what the hell is going on.

Sasori tried to identify the suspect, but they had crawled into the shadows in an attempt to leave the scene. Of course, Sasori couldn't allow this; to start with, sneak attacking Sasori in LazerZone when it has nothing to do with plastic guns or shooting is a definite no. To add to that, trying to rape his mouth and get away with impunity is an even bigger no. With a lunge, Sasori went for his attacker, only embracing the air itself. The figure had scrambled up and fled, turning into a narrow passage and vanishing. Trying to follow whoever had the nerve to escape from what they started, Sasori found himself unable to take another step; a strong hand was clamped around his shoulder, a voice answering Sasori's unspoken outburst.

"Yo, chill, shrimp. Don't fuck Dei up that bad..." Hidan's statement put the redhead into a state of temporary paralysis. What was that…did he say…?

…was Hidan calling him short? Goddamnit, he-

And then the Jashinist's second half of his words sunk into Sasori's mind, dragging him back to his paralyzed state. Dei? Was he referring to the Deidara they knew…?

Of fucking course, genius; thanks for playing.

A rush of thoughts and questions and complete anger or something flushed through the puppeteer's body. His mouth was in a condition of should-I-be-saying-something-or-maybe-not, making him look completely idiotic, as his mouth opened and closed wordlessly. It wasn't until Hidan removed his hand from Sasori's shoulder and jabbed him roughly in the side, humming out, 'What, you couldn't tell? For the love of Jashin, say something, man,', before the redhead could make a coherent sentence, let alone a word.

"That wasn't him." Sasori's jaw clenched as he said it, knowing his own words were complete horseshit. Hidan was only laughing, shaking his head at the puppeteer. Of course it was Deidara. Of bloody course. The image of the blue eye reflected under that light was pretty obvious as to who it could only be. Alright, Sasori, good job; you're not in denial that you're fellow artist friend kissed you… it was a fervent, almost hopeful, and-

A thought struck him. Was Sasori really complaining? He did have this sad excuse for a crush on his friend, but why was there that awkward lingering on his lips after? Shouldn't it have felt right and all that crap from all of those hopeless romance stories he was fascinated with when he was a child? It could have only felt wrong since he had no idea it was his blonde friend, while it could've, in that split second, been anyone?

Hold up. Mental image of it being Itachi, instead of the pyromaniac, ravaging Sasori's lips.

...

...Alright. Now he really wanted it to be Deidara kissing him, instead of... anyone else.

Sasori recovered after that, shaking his head. Let's save the thinking for later. Hidan was there, and if he continued to think about this…

"Dude, are you fucking blushing? You should be repulsed, or like, angry, or fucking something other than—OH HOLY MOTHERFUCKING JASHIN, I NEED THOSE, GOD DAMN SHRIMP! HOLY JASHIN FUCKING PALOMINO"

With that, Sasori followed the escape route Deidara had taken, leaving the Jashinist to keel over and clutch onto Hidan Jr. in a fit of hysterics.

-

"Man down, man down!" Tobi was running around a practically crying Hidan, flailing his arms, not helping the situation at all. He had stumbled across the fair-haired man after outrunning a predatory weasel and shark. "Hidaaaaaaaaan! What happened?! Man down!"

"Oh… dear… Jashin… puppeteer… tea-bagging…Deidara…make the pain stop." Of course, the Jashinist meant to say something along the lines of, 'Oh dear Jashin, I'm going to fucking get that puppeteer. Tea-bagging might need to be in order…or maybe I should rape Deidara. Oh motherfucking shit, make the pain stop.'

And of course, how did Tobi interpret it?

"WHAT? ARE YOU TELLING ME SASORI IS GOING TO TEA BAG DEIDARA-SEMPAI?!"

And just like that, Tobi was off, plastic gun at the ready. Oh, had Sasori made an enemy out of him.

-

Shaky breaths came from a certain blue-eyed man, who had plastered his body to one of the non-fluorescent walls, trying to blend in with the darkness. Oh, of all the things he had to do due to that nasty caprice he had, kissing his Danna wasn't such a smart thing to even think of, especially here. Nope, scratch that. Definitely not smart. Now he'd have to get through these next ten minutes of this game without a certain redhead finding him, and not to mention the Red Team itself; after that, he'd have to bolt out of the LazerZone room and…

That was probably stupider than kissing Sasori on such a whim. Might as well be confronted, instead of having to sit in a car ride back with him, without knowing how the puppeteer would respond to him. Eh. Woe is the life of Deidara.

The fall of footsteps could be heard, coming from behind Deidara. Shit. Please don't let it be…

"DON'T WORRY, DEIDARA, I'LL PROTECT YOU FROM SASORI!"

…Tobi.

And what exactly did that orange-masked fool mean by protecting him from Sasori? Did Sasori realize…? And now he was coming after Deidara?

The blonde paled in an instant, trying to press further back in the wall. Fuckity fuck fuck. This was going smoothly. He waited for Tobi to tromp on past, before he made a mad dash towards the Blue Base, his vision completely blinded by a mixture of apprehension and distress.

-

Somewhere, in a dark corner of the LazerZone room, a certain Jashinist was completely ignored, due to the whole new plot twist. He now plans to file a law suit against the author and every other insane fangirl out there. Expect him to come after you when someone actually bothers to find him, which is extremely unlikely.

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DON'T YOU LOVE HOW THEY ARE ALL IN ONE HUGE MISUNDERSTANDING? i know i do.

Uhwow. This chapter is really question after question after a bit of humour after motherfucking question. How boring. The next chapter, we might... see some action. Or some rejection. Or some other pairings...I like that idea. :3

To all my reviewers, who I have pretty much screwed for these past months, I have one thing to say: i haz no cookiez to give 4 mai sorryz!111

But I can write slash for your perverted pleasure

READ AND REVIEW, I GUESS. IT SORTAKINDAREALLY MAKES ME HAPPY. ;A;