Sometimes it wasn't easy for Tohma to be emotionless and polite like he always showed himself to be. Sometimes he wanted to scream, to cry, to punch something, to hold onto something and never let it go. But he had to keep up his cool façade. Sometimes, though, he needed an outlet. He needed something physical that could help his mind ease and relax.
Especially after the past days' events.
Eiri had left Shuichi for another. Shuichi was left numb and emotionless. He could not sing and he could not bring up the energy to do anything else. This had not worried anyone too much. He barely spoke and was often seen in a daze, his face very still and eyes dim with depression. Tohma did not bother himself with it though. He was upset enough as it was about his wife's divorce. Their relationship had been rocky to start with, what with an arranged marriage followed by a miscarriage. His wife had slipped into a depression and Tohma couldn't help but feel it was his fault. So when she came to him with the papers, he could only help her by signing and breaking their marriage.
So, during these trialing times, Tohma needed an outlet. He drove his car late into the night and searched for his destination. It wasn't long before he found it. He parked his car, took out his bag, and walked inside the arena.
When he entered he heard music playing. So that meant there were some late nighters here too. He had wanted it to be empty, but it could not be helped. And he needed a stress reliever. He walked down the hall and into the stands where he could over look the rink. The ice skating rink to be exact. Yes, Tohma enjoyed ice skating. It was one of his favorite hobbies after composing. Music was playing but he could not see anyone out on the ice. He had assumed the employees here left the stereo playing until he suddenly saw a pink head step inside the rink.
He was surprised to see Shuichi here. He walked down the stairs to the first couple of rows, keeping his eyes on the pink haired singer. Shuichi stared down at the ice, his mind in another world. All he did was skate in circles around the perimeter of the arena. He did not even notice that his boss was watching him with curious eyes and putting on his own ice skates to join him because, with Shuichi or no Shuichi, Tohma wanted to skate.
Shuichi continued his laps at a slow pace, staring at his feet. He seemed to move like a robot. He probably had no idea of his surroundings. Shuichi could be surrounded by a crowd of rowdy teenagers and drunks and would not notice. Tohma decided to test this theory by skating behind the singer a few feet away. He noticed that Shuichi always had his hand on the railing, trailing his fingers over it. He stumbled a few times, catching himself, and then returning back to his normal pace.
After a few more laps of following, Tohma decided to let his presence be known to the singer. He sped up and skate right beside Shuichi now. The singer still did not notice.
"Hello Shindou-san," Tohma greeted.
"Hm?" Shuichi turned his head and met Tohma's eyes. "Wah!" His feet slid out from under him and he ran backwards in the same spot, flailing his arms, until he landed on his butt.
Tohma turned gracefully in front of him. Shuichi was trying to heave himself up by using the rail, but his feet kept sliding out from under him. It seemed that what little grace he had been blessed with those few minutes were suddenly thrown out the window. Tohma held out a hand.
"Let me help you up," he said with a soft smile.
Shuichi stared at his hand, then to it's owner. He allowed Tohma to grasp his hand and pull him to his feet. He stumbled, but Tohma caught him around the arms.
"Careful, Shuichi," Tohma said, "You don't do this often, do you?"
"It was a spur of a moment thing," Shuichi said so softly that it was just a pitch away from being a whisper.
Tohma smiled genuinely. "Let me help you." He put Shuichi's hands on his forearms and did the same with his own. They were very close together. Tohma, being graceful and skilled, skated backwards, guiding Shuichi with him. It was like they were dancing.
The song seemed to have changed with the atmosphere. It suddenly played the guitar strings of Every Breath You Take by The Police.
Shuichi kept his eyes on his hands on Tohma's forearms. "How long have you been ice skating?" he asked carefully.
"A few years," Tohma answered, "It's very relaxing after a stressful day."
"Hmm." Shuichi nodded.
They continued to skate in silence. It was a comfortable silence.
"What brought about this 'spur of the moment thing'?" Tohma asked.
Shuichi met his gaze. Emerald locking onto amethyst. Then he looked back at his hands. "I've been having writer's block. I was walking to clear my head when I saw this place, so I decided to try it."
"You were doing very well earlier."
Shuichi looked back up at him, and finally, Tohma saw a flicker of emotion. His cheeks had brightened pink with embarrassment. "I…I'm not that good."
"You're doing well so far."
Shuichi looked down at their feet to see and he saw that his movements were perfectly mirrored with Tohma's before his footing suddenly slipped and he lost his balance. He fell forward and he wrapped his arms around the nearest thing that would break his fall, which was Tohma's waist, and his head landed on the blonde's chest. Tohma had caught his back, his hands at Shuichi's side, feeling the boy's ribs of his lithe body.
In his ear, Shuichi could hear Tohma's heart beat.
Thump, thump… Thump, thump.
"Are you okay, Shuichi?" Tohma asked, bending his head down to Shuichi's. He watched Shuichi lift his head up and—to his delight—saw that Shuichi's face had reddened even more to nearly match the color of his hair.
"Y-Yeah," he said, looking away, "Sorry about that, Seguchi-san."
"I've been calling you, Shuichi," Tohma said with a smile, "I think for today we can be familiar enough to use first name."
Good thing he had good self control because he wanted to giggle as he watched Shuichi's face light up even more. "Th-Thank you…Tohma."
Thump, thump, thump.
Just from hearing his name being spoken from the singer made something strange happen. His chest tightened and his arms where Shuichi was touching was tingling. He seemed to be looking Shuichi with a new set of eyes. Had the singer been this adorable, this beautiful? Had he never known how his eyes seemed to shine? Had he been ignorant to the glow of his skin, to the smoothness of it? Had he been dumb to the way his body was lean and small, almost exactly like his own? Had he been blind to the way his lips were thick and in a constant pout, and had his own lips tingled to touch those lips that looked soft and warm?
And it was all from hearing just his name.
Suddenly these strange feelings turned into desire and wanting. And what Tohma wanted, Tohma made sure he got it.
Every move you make
Every vow you break
Every smile you fake
Every claim you stake
I'll be watching you
He knew his arm was sliding up Shuichi's, and he did not stop it. It slid up to the singer's shoulder, up his slender neck, tracing over his jaw line. They did not break eye contact. He cupped Shuichi's cheeks—hot from so much blushing—and leaned forward. Shuichi didn't move away.
His lips were just as soft as he imagined, and they had a taste about them. And they were warm, very warm. His other arm trailed downward and wrapped around Shuichi's waist, bringing what very little space they had apart together. Shuichi hesitated, but then moved into the kiss. His arms moved up to Tohma's shoulders, his grip was firm but gentle.
The kiss continued and deepened. Their noses bumped and rubbed against each other. Shuichi's tongue peeked out and Tohma kissed it, his head getting dizzy from tasting such a succulent treat. Their tongues lazily moved against each other, wet and swollen lips still claiming and searching.
Tohma could hear his heart beat, or at least he thought it was his. To his astonishment, he was hearing his and Shuichi's.
Thump, thump, thump…
Thump, thump, thump…
Whatever gross relationship they had before, however many times Tohma felt negatively for the singer, was gone in this moment. Whatever happened in the past was gone when their arms entwined. And Eiri Yuki ceased to exist for either of them for these few precious minutes that they had each other.
All that mattered was Tohma got what he wanted…
Shuichi's breath ghosted over his lips. "…Tohma…"
…And maybe even more.