"Hello, Chazz," his sex addicts counselor, Taylor sighed as Chazz entered his office. Chazz, being a hopeless sex addict and a man whose work required him to travel a lot, knew most of the sex addicts counselors in every major city throughout the northern United States and Canada, but Taylor was one of his favorites. He seemed to take the job seriously, at least.
"Hey," Chazz said, flicking his hand in Taylor's general direction in what could possibly be construed as a wave. He slouched down in the chair in front of Taylor's desk without being asked.
"So, what have you been up to lately?" Taylor asked.
Chazz grinned. "Winning. Skating competitions. Enjoying the sweet taste of victory."
Taylor put away whatever he had been writing and gave Chazz his full attention. "Right. I … um … heard. And how have you been handling your addiction, what with this new fame?"
"Hey. I have been famous for years," Chazz saw fit to remind him. "Everyone knows Chazz Michael Michaels." Taylor rolled his eyes, but motioned for Chazz to continue. "I haven't been handling the addiction part so well lately," he admitted, becoming more serious and looking at Taylor, desperately, as though pleading for help. "I just can't seem to tame the beast. And by the beast, I mean my --"
"I get it, Chazz," Taylor cut in, wincing. Chazz shrugged. You'd think, being a sex addicts counselor, that he would be used to this sort of talk. "I have to say that I'm a bit surprised you requested an individual session. Usually, you have no problem saying what you need to say in group."
"Yeah," Chazz said. In reality, he didn't want to say anything that he was about to tell Taylor in group. "Even the Chazz, gets a little shy from time to time." He belched loudly. "Tacos for breakfast," he explained.
"Right. Now, why don't you tell me what sorts of problems you've been having with your sex addiction."
Chazz thought that should be obvious. "I've been having sex. Lots and lots of sex. I haven't been practicing … restraint."
Taylor nodded and waited for Chazz to continue.
"See, Coach decided that Jimmy and I needed a few weeks in seclusion to really focus on our skating for the next round of competitions. I thought that was lame, but MacElroy was all for it, so what could I do? Anyways, this place was so far away from the real world that we hardly saw anyone – especially not any women. Do you have any idea how hard that was for a sex addict? Plus, Coach found out about all those times I used his phone for phone sex and he cut me off."
"I see. That must have been … difficult for you."
"You have no idea," Chazz sighed. "So I just had sex with my partner instead," he said it quickly.
"Your part-- you mean Jimmy MacElroy?" Taylor burst out and then clasped his hand over his mouth. "Never mind. I shouldn't have asked you the name."
Chazz ignored his dismay. "That's right, Jimmy MacElroy" he said, leaning back and putting his hands behind his head. "Did I just blow your mind? Chazz Michael Michaels, the ultimate lady's man, every woman's fantasy, did it with a dude." He waited for Taylor's shocked reaction, but the other man merely raised an eyebrow at him. "You aren't surprised?" Chazz asked, sitting up, a little.
"Well, it's not the first time, is it?" Taylor asked.
"Yes! Well, the first time when I was sober. I'll do anything drunk, anything. Remember that."
"So you weren't drunk this time?" Taylor asked.
"No," Chazz admitted, a bit reluctantly. "It was right after one of our workouts. I was all sweaty and MacElroy couldn't take his eyes off my body," Chazz began to warm up to the subject. Might as well make the story sound hot, even if it was incredibly gay. "I told him that if he didn't stop staring at me, then I might just think he was hungry for some Chazz meat. He said that maybe he was, but I don't think he realized what that meant at first because the next second he blushed as bright as a school girl. An innocent, virgin little Catholic school girl tempting me with her cute little ass and her big, blue eyes…"
"Chazz!" Taylor said, drawing Chazz out of his fantasy.
"Sorry, what? Oh, yeah, MacElroy. I told him that if he was going to look at me like that, then he had to return the favor and take his shirt off so that I could ogle him too. He's a big girl, so he whined and blushed and called me a pervert, but I gave him my patented "take off your clothes" look and of course he couldn't resist."
"You know, you really don't have to go into this much detail if you're not comfortable."
"He was giving me that look that just says, 'Touch me, Chazz. Kiss me, Chazz. Fuck me, Chazz.' I kissed him. Hard. With tongue. Then I licked my hands and touched his nipples."
"Chazz, I really don't need this level of detail. Just the end result."
Chazz smirked. "The end result is that I rocked MacElroy's world. With my wiener," he added, in case there was any confusion on that point. He didn't tell Taylor that at first it had been a struggle for power between them or that Jimmy had become scared halfway through and Chazz had went really slow to make sure he was comfortable. He didn't tell how tender Jimmy's kisses had been afterwards or how he had held Jimmy close for far too long. Those didn't seem to be very Chazz-like details.
"And this was your first sexual encounter with Mr. MacElroy?"
"Yeah. Well, I had already given him some kissing lessons. It was to help him get it on with his lady!" he said when Taylor gave him a look. "But MacElroy broke it off with her ages ago."
"Do you always call him by his last name?"
Chazz smiled arrogantly. "Sometimes I call him MacElroy. Sometimes I call him Jimmy. Sometimes I call him "princess". Sometimes I just call him my bitch."
Okay, so those last two weren't strictly all that true. At least, when he tried them, Jimmy tended to get angry which could lead to Jimmy cutting off the sex. Chazz didn't like having the sex cut off, so he kept some of his more colorful names for Jimmy to himself. There was no need for Taylor to know that, though.
"So you've had sex with him since then?"
"Oh, yeah. Constantly. Everyday."
"I see. And how many other partners have you had since then?"
"Well … none," Chazz said, realizing for the first time that it had been months since he had slept with a woman. What was wrong with him?
Taylor blinked. "None?" he asked, amazed. "Well, that shows unusual restraint, Chazz. You seem to actually be making progress."
"No, you don't understand, Taylor. This is not progress. I can't control myself when I'm around MacElroy. I try to recite the Serenity Prayer, to tell myself that having sex with my partner and friend would be a big mistake, but it never works. I've never had so much trouble resisting anyone."
Taylor cocked an eyebrow. "I mean I was actually trying this time," Chazz clarified. "Trying really hard. I don't want to keep having sex with a dude. But I can't control my lumbago."
"Libido," Taylor corrected.
"I think we've done it in every possible corner of the apartment," Chazz went on. "His bed, my bed, the nightstand, the shower, the bathroom floor, the living room floor, the couch, the recliner, the kitchen table … of course now Jimmy refuses to eat off the table. Or the counter. Or the coffee table in the living room. In fact, we just eat out most nights. Only not at the second booth from the back at the Mushu Pork Palace."
"Wait a minute, back up," Taylor said. "You're living together?"
"Well, yeah. We're sharing an apartment, anyway. Jimmy thought that it would help making rent easier on the both of us."
"I see. How long have you been sharing an apartment?"
"Almost six months, I guess," Chazz said, after thinking for a second.
"And have you had the opportunity to have sex with other partners in that time?"
"Are you kidding? The ladies can't keep their hands off Chazz and I've never been more famous."
"So why didn't you?" Taylor leaned forward as if truly interested.
"Hey," Chazz objected. "I thought the goal of sex addicts meetings was to have less sex."
"I wasn't objecting. I was merely wondering. I know how hard it is for a sex addict like you to resist the advances of beautiful women. Why did you do it?"
Chazz gave a long, somewhat annoyed sigh. "I don't know. I knew that MacElroy would probably get mad if I started having sex with a bunch of women. He's such a girl. Besides," here he grinned, "I always knew that that MacElroy would be waiting back at the apartment, willing to have all the hot, crazy sex that I wanted."
"So you don't want to risk your current relationship? You are satisfied with your current relationship?"
"No!" Chazz objected loudly. "I am never satisfied."
"I don't believe this," Taylor exclaimed, ignoring him. "Chazz! You are in what appears to be a healthy monogamous relationship. I have to admit that I sometimes wondered if it would ever happen. Yours is one of the worst cases of sex addiction that I have ever seen."
"Hey, there is nothing healthy about my relationship with MacElroy. It's hot and wild and uncontrollable."
"A relationship can be passionate and still be healthy," Taylor sounded happy, as if he had somehow cured Chazz. "What is important is that you are showing commitment. You know, I've heard of sex addicts who had sex with lots of people always looking for something – then one day they realized that the something was a partner of the same gender."
Chazz didn't like where this was going. "The Chazz is not a homosexicle," he said. He knew that the word was "homosexual", of course. Chazz knew every word with "sex" in it, including sexagon, which was a shape with six sides. But "homosexicle" sounded so much more provocative. Like a popsicle, only with sex. He would have to tell Jimmy that – Jimmy liked popsicles. "The Chazz is all man," he went on. "I've been with hundreds of women. Besides, have you ever met MacElroy? He practically is a woman. Sleeping with him does not make me gay."
"Okay, so you aren't gay. But you obviously care enough about your relationship to not let your sex addiction destroy it," Taylor said.
"You don't understand! I may not be having sex with a ton of women, but I'm still addicted. Addicted to MacElroy." Chazz paused after saying this. Was he really addicted to Jimmy MacElroy?
"Have you ever considered that you might be in love," Taylor said, quietly.
"In – in love?" Chazz asked. He honestly hadn't considered it. Love was a word that women sometimes wanted to hear from him, but Jimmy had never given any indication that he did. Chazz had always said it to women in the past reluctantly, grudgingly because he had never felt loved in return.
"Chazz?" Taylor asked, when he was quiet for a long while.
"Oh. Sorry," Chazz said, realizing that he had been thinking for quite some time. "My mind is just bottled. If I were in love – and I'm probably not. In fact, I almost definitely am not. But if I were, would that mean that I was cured of my sex addiction?"
Taylor gave him a look. "Chazz, you know as well as I do that sex addicts can be in love. And you will probably never totally stop being a sex addict. But this relationship … it seems to be a step in the right direction."
"Oh. I've, um, got to go now. I need to think about all of this, I guess," Chazz was not used to doing a lot of thinking.
"I'm almost out of time, anyway," Taylor said. "You should talk to Jimmy. Figure out where both of you stand."
"I'll talk to him … with my penis," Chazz said. All this talk about Jimmy had made him a little bit horny. Okay, really horny.
"Chazz," Taylor said in warning.
"I'll talk to him for real," Chazz said before Taylor could go all angry on him. Suddenly, he was less eager to get home to Jimmy than he had been a moment before.
"I'm proud of you, Chazz," Taylor said. "This is a good thing, it really is."
"Yeah," Chazz said, half believing him.