How Much I Love You

Chapter 1: Darkness. Headaches, Connections

He tip-toed his way across the dark of the room. Silent. So much so, that a pin drop could be heard all throughout the tower. He approached the bed and set his dark gaze upon the sleeping beauty. Her beautiful violet hair… he ran his finger through it gently, so as not to wake her. Under the shadows, two sets of white teeth could be seen on the dark face. He pulled out a tiny chip; about the size of an ant. He placed it onto her forehead. It started beeping a very tiny beeping noise. It then sunk itself into her forehead. The sleeping beauty shuffled a little in her sleep and her brow furrowed. She shifted. The shadow silently went to her window. He placed his hand on it, and was on the other side of it instantly. He dropped to the ground, landing on his feet, not making a single sound. He ran, extremely fast, across the ocean.

Raven shot up, a few hours after what the shadow had done, but of course she was unknown to it. Odd. Usually, she was real stubborn when it came to waking up… but she never let the other Titans know that. She stared at her clock, almost surprised it was only 5:00 A.M. More surprising, she wasn't even tired. She'd normally wake up around 6:00, but take half an hour to actually get up. Then she'd continue about her morning routines. She shrugged it off. She got up and stripped off what clothing she was wearing and climbed into her shower. When she was gently washing herself, she grabbed her head, dropping the scrunchie she was using. She had a horrible headache. Her eyes were shut tight, and she uttered her mantra, hoping to relieve the stress of it. It worked; she was thankful for her healing powers and finished washing herself. She departed from it and dressed in her usual attire, and exited her room. It was still another 45 minutes or so before the other Titans would be up, so she could do one thing she wouldn't dare do when other Titans were around; watch T.V. Of course, she'd only watch educational shows. It was a little guilty pleasure she had. Sometimes she'd wake early just to do it. Again, something she wouldn't share with the other Titans.

She sat softly on the couch, and turned on the T.V. The volume wasn't blaring for once, but Raven completely shut out the volume. She was able to pick up sound waves using her powers, so she didn't need to have the television having any volume. She sat, watching a program on animals. Raven always loved animals. Another secret she kept to herself. She didn't need to worry about if another Titan were to come, as she would sense them coming. She could turn off the television and start making her tea, pretending she was only down for a moment. But… something was wrong. Something different.

"HI RAVEN!" Beast Boy screamed unnecessarily louder than it needed to be, "whatcha watching? Since when do you watch T.V.? Is that about animals? How can you hear anything without any volume? You like animals?"

He continued bombarding her with questions for another minute or so before he finally picked up on the annoyed face Raven had on.

"Oh, sorry…" he said nervously, scratching the back of his neck.

Raven sighed, "if you must know… I watch television occasionally, alone."

"Ohhh… why?"

Raven rolled her eyes. But she understood it was odd for her, none of the other Titans knowing of it. But now Beast Boy did. "Because I want to. Do I need a reason for watching it?"

"No, no!" Beast Boy cried, raising his hands defensively. "I meant, why don't you watch it with us? You know, other than movies."

"You'd never watch what I want to."

"You never ask," Beast Boy said, and took a look at the screen. He saw… animals? No, this couldn't be real! Could it? "You're watching a show about animals? Do you like animals?"

Raven nodded, a tiny blush appearing on her cheeks. But it faded almost as instantly as it had appeared. Beastboy felt a certain connection with Raven here. He didn't know what it was, though. Raven liked animals, something he never knew before!

"Hey wait a second! I could turn into any animal!"

"Can," Raven corrected.

"Why would you watch boring old T.V. when you got your own zoo right here," he said, raising an eyebrow and pointing at himself, smirking.

"It wouldn't really be a zoo unless we were in your room. But then again, that's an insult to the animals."

Beast Boy frowned for a second. But he put on his trademark grin after that, "well I can turn into any animal! Come on, what do you want me to turn into?!"

"A fly, so I can swat you," Raven couldn't help but smile at her own joke. Beast Boy seemed to enjoy it too. He was laughing. At one of her jokes, despite it being an insult? That wasn't like him. "Someone's happy today."

"Just really happy to see you, Raven."

And affectionate, she thought. Strange, Beast Boy normally wasn't like this. Raven was flattered that Beastboy was actually happy to see her. Out of all the people, it was her! Maybe… maybe her most hidden secret… no. Beast Boy was just being nice. He didn't have feelings for her. Did he? Well, they were a lot better friends since after Terra had forgotten her old life. Raven patted the couch for Beast Boy to join, and he did, happily. He sat and watched the television for a moment.



"As much as I love animals… and this is great and all, could there possibly be, you know, some volume?"

Raven thought, but just for a brief second. It was all she needed. She decided to give a test to Beast Boy. She was seated on the couch, and right on her right, was the remote. On her left, was Beast Boy. Her test was to see how Beast Boy responded and reacted when she said he can do it himself.

"The remote's there. You can do it yourself," she said in her monologue voice. Beast Boy didn't say anything, and a little bewildered at what Raven had said. He didn't move… Beast Boy didn't think what to do for a moment. He reached over Raven, instead of going around, which Raven secretly hoped he did the former… and he did so. He grabbed the remote… and picked it up. And moved his hand away from Raven, blushing furiously. But he hid it well. Raven had her hood up, so her blush was hidden perfectly fine.

Woah! What do you think you're doing?! You idiot! You reached over Raven like that! Why she hasn't vaporized me yet is beyond me! Why did I do it anyway?

Despite being closer friends, Beast Boy was absolutely positive Raven would rip him apart if he did anything like that. But she didn't… so that confused BB greatly. He smiled nervously at Raven, and pushed the volume up a few times. Not too loud; he knew Raven didn't like blaring television. Or blaring anything for that matter. The two sat in silence watching for a while.

After about 10 minutes of silence, Raven couldn't take watching animals mating anymore. "I'm going to make some tea," she spoke to Beast Boy in her monologue voice.

"I'll help!" Beastboy shot up out of the seat, and trailed Raven close behind.

Raven was going to neglect it for a second, but she decided, for once, it would be nice for someone to make her tea for her. Instead she asked a question that was bugging her for a while. "Why are you up so early? I don't see you as an early riser."

Beast Boy carefully put Raven's favourite kettle on the stove, making sure not to spill it or accidentally drop it. If he did, it would be hell to pay. So once he finished doing that, he turned his attention to her. "I'm always up this early. Well, not always. But I am a lot. Ever since Terra," Raven cringed at the name, "was gone, I've been sometimes having some extra steam I need to blow off. So I do some early-morning training."

He explained it while carefully taking the kettle off the stove. He got out two cups, of which Raven raised her eyebrow to, and proceeded to making herbal tea. For two. Raven thought it was preposterous Beast Boy could be sophisticated enough to drink herbal tea… but before her own eyes, Beast Boy was making it for the both of them. He brought both steaming cups over to the table. And yes, Beast Boy used milk. After much convincing from the rest of the team, he has some small exceptions to what he eats and drinks now. Milk being one of them… though it is the only dairy he puts into his body. He realized, since he had his powers, he didn't have any meat or dairy. And he needs the dairy.

He set a cup of tea in front of Raven. She eyed it, as if any moment it were going to jump out of the cup and attack her. Wait, that was Starfire's cooking. With Beast Boy, it was more like she was afraid it would taste so horrible that she wouldn't be able to drink tea for a week.

"It won't bite. I promise! Look, I'll even drink a bit of mine to prove it," Beast Boy said, taking a small sip. "OH BUT IT'S HOT! AH MY TONGUE BURNS!"

He ran over to the sink and ran his now red tongue under icy cold water. Raven was amused by Beast Boy's antics, and had a very faint smile come across her lips. But as BB finished with the sink, Raven's smile went away as quickly as it had come.

"Since when do you drink herbal tea?" Raven was very curious. She was seeing a whole new side of Beast Boy. She was also flattered that he was showing it to herself. She always felt closest to Beast Boy in terms of friends. And Raven, for as long as she could remember, had the tiniest crush on him. But… ever since this morning, this tiny crush has been very slowly starting to grow.

Beast Boy posed his hand on his chin for a second. "You know, come to think of it, this is only my second cup of herbal tea ever…" that didn't help convince Raven it was going to be good. But she knew, sooner or later, she would have to try it. She didn't want to hurt Beast Boy's feelings. Not like that, at least. "Don't worry Raven. I bet it's not horrible! Mine wasn't. Well, it was so hot it kind of singed my tongue instantly, and I couldn't really taste it so…"

He stopped and looked at Raven who looked slightly bored, staring into her tea. Beast Boy mentally slapped himself. He was trying to be a better friend to Raven. She was to him – normally, she wouldn't watch T.V. with him, she wouldn't let him make herbal tea for her, and she wouldn't sit around this long listening to Beast Boy. But she did now, because she was being a better friend towards him. Beast Boy counted how many times he already messed up today. First was yelling as loud as can when he saw her, second was reaching over her to grab the remote. Third was mentioning Terra – yes Beast Boy recognized the face and instantly regretted it. And fourth; he was talking quite a bit. The empath sensed her friend's distraught. She wasn't really puzzled as to why she couldn't sense him before – it sometimes happened.

"Look, Beast Boy… it's okay. I know we're trying to be better friends. I know you have a harder time than I do. But I can forgive you if you mess up… a lot… in a day…" Raven comforted in her unique way. But it was enough for the green boy, as he instantly lit up to this and smiled.

The rest of the morning went on normally from there. Beast Boy and Cyborg both argued over what to cook, while Robin and Starfire made plans for their date. They never had long dates or traveled too far from the tower – only because crime could be afoot any moment, and they didn't dare stray far for too long.

"So first we shall go to the movie viewing place, and eat lots of popcorn, and soda, and…" Raven drowned out Starfire's constant rambling. With Robin and Star going out now, it was extremely difficult to find and spend some quality time with either of them. Raven wasn't really complaining, but she did get a little depressed that two of her friends were hard to spend time with, be it apart from crime fighting. She still had Cyborg, though… and not to mention Beast Boy. Cyborg was always there, watching out for her as if he were a big brother she never had. And Beast Boy, literally by her side every moment she wasn't in her room. Not that she didn't enjoy it. She enjoyed every moment she got to spend with Beast Boy and Cyborg. But more so the former. And it's been like that since the Tokyo trip, with Robin and Star so occupied with each other. It was getting harder for Raven to find joy with her friends… or anything else for that matter. It bothered her and annoyed her to a great extent. She quickly dismissed these inane thoughts, because well, it was the time of month for her and her mind was acting unusual. Pair that with the fact Beast Boy was acting really sensitive was not good for her. It was good for her, as well though… or so she hoped. Good for BB at least. She departed after she finished her breakfast, saying she needed to meditate.

Beast Boy was staring at the latest game magazine that came in through the mail. "DUUUUUUUDE!" he yelled to Cyborg who jumped up from his single-player game. "THEY. HAVE. A. NEW. GAME. STATION!"

Beast Boy could've sworn he missed the next minute or so of his life, as he was sitting in the T-Car. He was amazed how Cyborg and him moved from the living room to here…


The car rolled out of the garage at lightning speeds off toward the mall.

"What game are we gunna get first? Mega Monkeys 7: Battle of Monkeyania? Or Mega Monkeys: Clash of the Monkey. Which is a prequel to Mega Monkeys One, the amazing game that started it all!" Beast Boy read off the magazine.

"Who said we're getting ONE?!" Cyborg expressed relentlessly.

The car sped off towards the mall with two extremely happy Titans in it.

Raven sat a top the Titan Tower. Her favourite spot to meditate; she realized the T-car speeding off to the mall at ungodly speeds. She knew a new Game Station came out and Cyborg and BB were the first to get their hands on one. She also noticed Rob and Star speed away on their bike. That gave her some alone time to meditate. Which was the best time to meditate. She could really clear her mind now.

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos…" she repeated in her monotone many times. All was going well for her, and her mind was getting in a high state of focus… then suddenly…

The pain. The immense pain that felt like her brain was ripped straight out of her head and punted like a football… the headache. The same one she had before. She lost all her concentration and landed hard on her bottom. But the pain there didn't even scratch the pain that was coming from her head. She put her hand on her forehead, touching her chakra.

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos…" and a tiny black energy emanated from her. Her headache vanished again. Raven decided that she should get some rest now that her mind was cleared. That wasn't like her at all, napping in the middle of the day. But she had to try, because her headache may return. She lied her head on her soft pillow, shutting her eyes. But to no avail, she couldn't sleep. She simply was not tired. Raven sat up in her bed, and attempted to bring a bottle of half-empty water from last night on her dresser to her. But… something was not right. She couldn't move the bottle. It just stood there. Raven started to get annoyed. "Azarth Metrione Zinthos" she said. The bottle got surrounded in a black aura, but it did something she did not intend it to do; explode. Raven furrowed her brow angrily at the bottle and proceeded to cleaning it up.

Greetings, readers of my first Teen Titans fan fiction. I hope you enjoyed my first installment of this story. If not, tell me how I can improve. Thank you very much for reading. Reviews are very greatly appreciated.