Note from the Author: HOY, FOLKS! Aside from my GaaMats fic "Student or Dearest Person?", I am also working on several sub fics that are part of my "Project: Before Akatsuki", which is a depiction of the lives of Akatsuki members before they joined. My first one was this; Life is a Bang, the story of Deidara's awesome life, and how it was ruined, turning him down the path of Akatsuki. He had everything a man could ever want. Money, fame, women, and a load of talent. When Itachi and Kisame appear before him and tell him to join the cause of Akatsuki, he turns it flat down. But does he even have a choice? An additional note; In this fic, Deidara is straight. Sorry fangirls. XD Besides, I think it's far funnier to see the guy pimp around a flock of women, and I'm the writer, so mah funniez is what goes in here! XP This one won't be updated quite as often as my other fic, because its' fairly new. However, I will try to update it at least every 2 days, expect for the first three chapters, which will be released daily. Hope you all enjoy the awesome life of Deidara, right before it goes...BOOM!
He had everything a man could ever want. Money, fame, women, and a load of talent. When Itachi and Kisame appear before him and tell him to join the cause of Akatsuki, he turns it flat down. But does he even have a choice?
An additional note; In this fic, Deidara is straight. Sorry fangirls. XD Besides, I think it's far funnier to see the guy pimp around a flock of women, and I'm the writer, so mah funniez is what goes in here! XP This one won't be updated quite as often as my other fic, because its' fairly new. However, I will try to update it at least every 2 days, expect for the first three chapters, which will be released daily. Hope you all enjoy the awesome life of Deidara, right before it goes...BOOM!
Oh, and one last thing. I was always a bit shaky on Dei's 'uns' 'yeahs' and 'hms'. Bear with me if they get a little annoying.
Disclaimer: Okay, if I seriously owned Naruto, I wouldn't be writing this fanfic. I'd be paying someone like James Paterson to do it for me, 'cause I'd be rolling in dough.
Dawn. Such a time was where the usual veil of darkness left the world and replaced itself with a warm ray of light. Such a time was what the inhabitants of Iwagakure, the village hidden in the rocks, arose to preform their daily lives as always. Nothing much ever changed, aside from the actions of the village's most popular shinobi.
Deidara Shoshin awoke in the bed within his designer apartment with a mighty yawn. Looking at the window, he adjusted himself to the rays of sunshine peeking through. Just another day? Not even the slightest chance.
The long haired blonde quickly put on his clothes and grabbed his flak jacket, throwing it on as he grabbed an apple from the clay bowl on the kitchen table. Grasping onto it, he stared at the bowl with his hand to his chin. "Hm...Now that I look at it this way, its' missing something, yeah." Putting the fruit down for a moment, Deidara performed a crossed hand sign, and channeled his chakra swiftly through his body. "KATSU!" he shouted, causing the bowl to explode, sending chunks of fruit flying in random directions. Conveniently, nothing his him, and he continued to look at the spot where the bowl was, now only where a cinder remained. "...I like it. It's fleeting, and deadly. Now then..."
Facing the door, Deidara grabbed the apple he had set down, and bolted out the door of his apartment, turning for the stairwell down the hall and slowing his run to a steady pace. "Now then, today I...meet the Tsuchikage. That's right. Wonder what kind of mission the old man has for me."
As he approached the stairwell, he noticed two people standing next to it, wearing bamboo shades over their heads, and black cloaks with cloud designs on them. They appeared to be staring at him through the shades. Deidara stood there for a moment, looking right back at them.
"Hoy, what are you looking at, hm?" he shouted, balling a fist at them. "Have you got something against me or something?"
The larger of the two spoke up suddenly, a deep and cutthroat, yet amused laugh proceeding his speech. "Oh, no, we've got nothing against you. We just wanted to see ya with our own eyes, is all. They say you're quite the explosives expert."
A confident smirk graced Deidara's lips, and he lowered his arms to his side. "So, you two must be fans of my art, then. Well, I would love to stay and chat, but I've gotta get somewhere. Why not try and catch up with me upon my grand return today, un?"
"Heehee, very well." the tall one said. "We'll talk to you later, I'm sure."
Deidara smirked again, but his smile faded when he looked again at the shorter one that hadn't spoken yet. Shooting him a curious look, he dashed down the stairs, and left the sight of the two.
"Man, what weirdoes, un." Deidara exited the apartment building, and rose the hand carrying the unbitten apple to his face. It was when he nearly took off his hands biting when he realized that the apple was no longer there. "What the?! What in hells name?!? Bah...I probably dropped it." The blonde artist ignored the preposterous thoughts of one of those guys he'd run into taking the apple while he wasn't looking, and continued to run down the streets of Iwagakure.
The current Tsuchikage, Toriyama Akaseitoka, was a veteran of the Kono/Iwa war that took place nearly two decades ago, and ever since had been trying to establish Iwagakure as a world military power. Even today, his motives for requesting Deidara's presence had everything to do with this.
"Where on earth is that guy?" said a Jonin from across the room named Osoi, who was apparently involved in todays' operation.
"Just wait a few." replied Dakara, another Jonin, who was leaning against a bookshelf in the office. "It's not even time for him to be here yet."
"Why don't both of you be quiet. He's here anyway." the Tsuchikage said.
Osoi's ear's perked. "What's that sound?"
Toriyama opened the window, and the screams and cheers of dozens of women flooded the room. "Deidara's entourage."
A moment after that, a loud stumbling noise was heard down the hall, and the door opened, revealing an almost out of breath Deidara, his hair in a slight mess. "My fanclub is starting to get a bit violent. Any more, and they might just take off my arms!"
Closing the door, the artist made his way over to the Tsuchikage and bowed respectfully. "Tsuchikage-sama." Raising his head once more, he cleared his throat and continued to speak. "I'm ready for today's mission whenever you are, hm."
Toriyama nodded. "Good. I wouldn't expect anything less from our top bomb specialist. Now then, recently, we found the village of an enemy of ours, the Village Hidden in the Caverns in a deepground entrance on a mountain roughly four miles east of Saniba Village. Deidara, today you, Osoi, and Dakara are going to the Village Hidden in the Cavern, and you will demolish their entryway. Just the entryway will do, because eventually, we will send ninja in there to raid the village of any supplies they have."
Deidara rose his eyebrow. "The catch?"
"Ah, so you caught my drift, did you? The catch is that there are actually two secret entries and exits to the village besides the main one. You will need to close both to ensure they all die trapped in their own foolishly placed village. Also, the inside must be kept in tact."
The same smirk of confidence that had graced him earlier returned, and Deidara reached for his bag of clay, placing his hand inside at once. "Sounds exactly like my kind of thing, hm. But I do have a question. Will this mean the end of our current war?"
Toriyama nodded, giving Deidara yet another idea to spice up the village's life. "Well then I have a little idea. What do you say after I complete this mission and the nin that go in after me declare that we've won, we throw a big celebration, hm?"
Toriyama pondered for a moment with his hand to his chin, stroking his scarlet goatee. "Hm...It might give the village something cheery to discuss for awhile. ... why not? Complete this mission, and I will announce it."
Deidara bowed respectfully and yanked his hand out of the clay, tossing a tiny clay bird out the window, and performing another hand seal, causing it to enlarge in a plume of smoke. It was big enough to ride, which is exactly what Deidara intended to do as he jumped out the window and began to soar away on it, the screaming women's noise growing. "I'll complete this mission in record time!"
When he was nothing more than a dot in the sky, Osoi mumbled something about him taking off too damn early, and jumped out the window onto another roof, followed closely by Dakara.
"That Deidara is going to be great someday, that is for certain." the Tsuchikage said, closing the windows to at last mute the women below.