A/N: The Teyla prompt battle on live journal got under my skin. What brought this about was reading the words 'Teyla & Rodney, comic books'.
If you know me, you know it was just a matter of time before it all went downhill.
No plot, no point, just an excuse to write dialogue and some nice "Oh, those wacky earthlings" bemusement from Teyla. Set this somewhere in…oh, I don't know...late season two, early season three.
Teyla Emmagen blinked at Rodney McKay without comprehension.
It was becoming a rather common expression to read on her face, actually...too common for Rodney's liking. As if he had lost his marbles and she was wondering where they could have possibly rolled to and if she might be able to find suitable replacements.
Teyla stopped blinking at him and looked back at the book he was holding out to her, giving it the same look as she'd given him. "She is...green."
This statement brought about another quizzical look. "She-Hulk."
Well, at least she was learning. "Female counterpart to the Hulk."
That damned look was back. "The Hulk and She-Hulk? Why is he not called He-Hulk? Would that not make more sense, Doctor McKay? They are both a variety of 'Hulk' and if one is called 'She' due to gender, would it not be fair if both were designated by--"
Rodney waved a hand. "Stop, stop, stop. You're missing the point."
"But it is a sexist--"
"You've been listening to Cadman, haven't you?" Rodney set the She-Hulk comic book aside and picked up another from the pile. "You shouldn't, she doesn't know what she's talking about."
Rodney gestured with the next book. "Let's move on. Do you know who this is?"
"Doctor McKay, I do not see why you feel the need to educate me in such matters."
"You feel the need to beat me with sticks once a week," he snippily replied, still waving the comic book under her nose.
Her eyes slid halfway closed and she regarded him indifferently. "That is self defense, this is…I do not know what this is, but it serves no useful purpose that I can discern."
"It's important!" he exclaimed. "Comic books are a vital part of Earth culture. Sheppard's taught you about sports, Elizabeth is teaching you about art and suchlike, I'm teaching you about comic books."
Teyla released a long suffering sigh and Rodney grinned, knowing she had relented. "Very well. What is the next one?"
He held up the next slim volume and brandishing the image of a woman whose skin, hair and eyes were all paper white. "Lady Death. Ruler of the underworld, fierce warrior, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera."
At this image, Teyla's eyes bulged. "How does she maintain her dignity in battle when so little of her body is covered?"
"Double sided tape, best I can figure it." Once again he set the comic aside and picked up another, showing it to her. "This is Mystique."
Teyla stared, her brow furrowed in thought. "She is blue."
Looking back up at Rodney, the Athosian tilted her head to one side and gave him that look. "Is there some sort of sub-culture on Earth which worships strangely colored women?"
"Only if they're strangely colored, scantily clad women." He smirked at her. "Wait until you see the Orion Slave Girls. They've practically got their own religion in some circles."
Teyla grew pensive once more. "So if I were to paint myself in such a manner, I would be considered desirable on Earth?"
"Well you're desirable here--" Rodney snapped his mouth shut once he realized what had passed through his lips. "Oh, I mean...uh…that's not what I mean. I mean, you wouldn't have to paint yourself, although I'm sure I wouldn't mind seeing--I mean, that's still not what I mean!"
The corner of Teyla's mouth twitched and her eyes were filled with mirth.
She was barely holding back the laughter.
Rodney gulped loudly. "I...you know what I meant; I didn't mean it how it sounded!"
She allowed herself a wide smile at his discomfort. "It sounded like a compliment."
"You can't fault a man for getting a bit tang tongueled--I mean, tongue tangled--wait, what, what? Compliment? Oh. Well then…that's how I meant it."
She shook her head, stifling her own giggles lest they make her look less composed and made ready to leave. "She was right. You are adorable when you are being awkward."
"Awkward? I am not--wait, ADORABLE?!" McKay leapt from his seat and hurried after his wayward comic book charge. "You can't leave! Who said I'm adorable?! Teyla! WAIT!"