Disclaimer: I own nothing... don't sue me...
Notes: Ok, this is meant to be funny, NOT to be taken seriously in the least little bit! There is a song from the Buffy the Vampire Slayer musical episode about a parking ticket. My friend challenged me to write a fanfic around this parking ticket song. Really it might not make sense if you don't look up the lyrics to the song, or may just seem completely random... which really it is. This was done solely for our entertainment...plus we both really hate Messiah. So, if you like random funny fanfics, then read... if not, then don't read it!
Parking Ticket: The Torture of Messiah
The darkest part of the night, just before dawn, had finally reached the city. Although many people slumbered peacefully in their beds, an equal amount were creating noise on the still busy streets. Far above them, perched lightly among the rafters of a tower, sat a silent angel.
Kagetsuya stared blankly out over the city, taking in nothing he saw, his mind elsewhere.
Again…he's talking in his sleep again… this is getting ridiculous. Pretty soon both of us will become full-fledge insomniacs! Kagetsuya sighed. The sun peaked out over the horizon, signaling the start of day.
"I guess I'll head back now… Chihaya's probably startled himself awake by now." Pushing off of the rafter, Kagetsuya lifted off into the sky.
When he had returned he found Chihaya awake as expected.
"Kagetsuya, where have you been off to so early?" Chihaya asked as he rubbed his eyes wearily.
"No where. Couldn't sleep again?" Kagetsuya asked, already knowing the answer.
"No." Chihaya slumped into a chair and stared out the window.
"What's bothering you this time?" Retrieving freshly made cups of coffee, Kagetsuya placed one in front of Chihaya and sat down across from him with the other one.
Kagetsuya made a slight jerking motion at the name.
"Just forget about him, Chihaya! It's none of our business."
"I know that! Kagetsuya, you know that I can't just forget him!"
Shit…the day just started and already it sucks! Kagetsuya thought to himself as he rested his head in his hands.
"I need to find him… I want to see him again." Rising from his chair, Chihaya left the room. A few minutes later, he returned with a notepad in his hands.
"What's that?" Kagetsuya asked, lifting his head up.
"Messiah's address. I'm going to find him.' Chihaya grabbed his coat and started for the door. Rising quickly, Kagetsuya ran to block him.
"Chihaya! Please! Just forget about him! Give me the notepad." He reached his hand out but Chihaya pulled it away.
"No Kagetsuya. I'm sorry, but I'm going." Moving aside, Kagetsuya watched bewildered as Chihaya left.
"Aargh!" Kagetsuya slammed the door after Chihaya and pounded it with his fist. "It's not fair! Chihaya, why does he matter so much to you?"
Kagetsuya closed his eyes and tapped his head on the door thinking that there had to be something he could do.
I'll get there first… Rushing to the computer, he quickly found Messiah's address. I'll fly, that'll be faster… Chihaya will have to try and find a parking place… I'll bet there'll be no parking anywhere! Hurrying to the window, he paused remembering suddenly that Chihaya did not own a car and would be taking the train and therefore parking would not be an issue.
Shit! I really need to start getting some sleep! Shaking his head violently to clear it, he flew out the window and towards Messiah.
When he drew near to his destination he found an abandoned alley to land in without attracting too much unwanted attention. Closing his eyes from fatigue as he landed, he was greatly surprised when he hit something causing himself to tumble onto the concrete and land flat on his face.
What the hell? He turned to look at what he had fallen on and saw a large, red hydrant. How did that get there? Thank god no one was around to see that… Pulling himself off of the ground, he retracted his wings and walked the rest of the way to Messiah's.
Busting down the door, Kagetsuya stormed into Messiah's room.
"What are you do…" before Messiah could finish his sentence Kagetsuya knocked him unconscious with a pipe he had picked up from the alley.
"It's time to settle this Messiah." Kagetsuya tossed the unconscious Messiah onto his shoulder and flew from the room. Looking back at the receding ground below, Kagetsuya saw Chihaya.
"Kagetsuya?! What do you think you're doing?!" Chihaya screamed at him.
"Stay out of this Chihaya!" Ignoring Chihaya's continued cries, Kagetsuya flew on.
Eventually he reached an abandoned warehouse. He descended and tossed messiah onto the hard floor. Looking around, Kagetsuya found a large assortment of sharpened spikes.
"Perfect…" He said smiling, "I'll show that bastard…" Picking up one opf the spikes, Kagetsuya drug Messiah to a nearby wall and rammed the spike through one of Messiah's wings, connecting him to the wall.
The pain shocked Messiah back to consciousness with a jolt.
"What the hell are you doing?!" He cried as Kagetsuya continued to ram spikes into his other wing, arms and legs completely immobilizing him onto the wall like a pinned butterfly.
"Teaching you a lesson…"
"What?" messiah replied in confusion as the pain blurred his eyes.
"Because of you, messiah… Chihaya can't sleep at night. This infatuation with him has got to end!" Kagetsuya picked up another, longer spike and held it like a javelin several feet away.
"What are you talking about? Chihaya gave me my heart! I love…"
"Wrong answer!" Kagetsuya threw the spike. It landed in Messiah's shoulder, turning his words into shrieks of pain. "Why can't you just let it go, messiah? Let him go! Take away whatever hold you have on him! I think I've given up enough to deserve at least that. Just leave us be. I've paid more than my fair share of the price.
"Kagetsuya!" he heard Chihaya cry from close by.
"Shit!" Kagetsuya looked around through the windows for the source of the voice. He saw Chihaya come flying through an open window above the rafters.
"Kagetsuya! What are you doing?!"
"Chihaya! I told you to stay out of this!" Chihaya landed between Kagetsuya and the pinned Messiah. Kagetsuya picked up another spike, preparing to throw it. "Chihaya, he's the reason you can't sleep at night! Because of him, your softhearted conscious feels a need to do something to save him! He's not worth it!"
"Kagetsuya, please! Stop this madness!"
"Move aside, Chihaya…"
"Kagetsuya! Don't do this over me! This is torture! I'm just a poor girl! I'm not worth all of this trouble!"
"Chihaya! I said move…wait, did you just say 'girl'?" Kagetsuya lowered the spike and stared at Chihaya. Chihaya looked startled for a second.
"Did I miss something? I think I lost consciousness again… Chihaya's a girl?" Came a rather groggy Messiah.
"No… well… I'm not…" Chihaya stuttered as he averted his eyes.
"I know he acts like one… but no, he's a guy… and I should know!" Chihaya's face reddened as he clenched his fists.
"I do not act like a girl!" Kagetsuya smiled.
"But that's what you said… you said, 'I'm just a poor girl' isn't that right, Messiah?" Chihaya turned quickly to see Messiah's slowing nodding head.
"So when did this happen, Chihaya?" Messiah asked, still only slightly conscious.
"What? Nothing happened!" Chihaya said, flustered, as he looked back and forth between Kagetsuya and Messiah.
"It must just be all those bows and frills Lord Michael's always putting on him. At any rate, last time I checked, Chihaya was a guy. Now can we please get back to the matter at hand?" Kagetsuya said as he raised the spike once more. Chihaya's mouth hung open as his face turned the most brilliant crimson color.
"Well, maybe someone lese should check. Hey Chihaya, I'm not wearing any underwear." As soon as the words had left Messiah's lips, Kagetsuya threw the spike, which hit Messiah directly in the abdomen. Chihaya gasped and ran to Kagetsuya. He/she/it/? Buried his/her/it's/? face in Kagetsuya's shoulder, who gently embraced him/her/it/?.
"It's ok now Chihaya. See, this is why I didn't want you to go out alone to look for him. You're too sweet and naïve… people'll take advantage of that."
"Even angels?" Chihaya asked looking up at Kagetsuya.
"You must remember that he is not really one of us… he is an artificially made angel."
"But why did you do all of this, Kagetsuya? Surely not just because I was not sleeping well?" Kagetsuya and Chihaya's eyes locked on each other.
"You know why." Chihaya smiled.
"Why don't you show me? I'm naïve remember?" Kagetsuya gave a small laugh as he leaned down and kissed Chihaya gently. After a moment, Kagetsuya pulled back.
"Let's go home." Chihaya nodded in agreement. With that the two angels took off hand in hand.
"Hey! Guys! Wait! Aren't you going to help me?! Chihaya! Please!" Called out Messiah onto deaf ears. "I'm sorry, ok! I take it back! Just please help me! Chihaya! CHIHAYA!"