Don't own anything. Shut up.


Chapter One: Moving Day

It had been three months since the explosion that had destroyed the second Smash Mansion. The third Mansion had been built to accommodate more people, but it was a difficult feat to make one's way to the next Mansion. The small hotel that the current twenty-five Smashers had been staying at was alive with discussion concerning the new living arrangements.

"But how do we know we'll even make it there?" asked Fox heatedly, slapping down a real estate brochure.

"Yeah, we have no idea where we're going!" complained Donkey Kong, raising his fist for emphasis.

Master Hand tapped on a spoon to indicate silence, and cleared his throat.

"Ladies, gentlemen, and those with dubious genders," he began, glaring at Captain Falcon, "I understand our situation is dire, but we have to face facts. Our Mansion was blown up after some evil force possessed a few of us...and we all died. With one exception, of course, Jigglypuff."

A babble of talk broke out again, and Master Hand threw Luigi at the crowd.

"Now, I have paid for a luxury Mansion, far bigger than the one we originally had. However, to allow for more media attention, and more money, we need more people to move in with us." Master Hand said.

The Smashers all talked among themselves again, fervently wondering who would join them.

"Some of the new Smashers you will be familiar with, some you will not." Master Hand continued. "Applicants from all over have requested staying at the Mansion."

"Well, how are we going to get there?" asked Bowser.

"I'm glad you asked that," smiled Master Hand. "And I can only reply that it's YOUR PROBLEM, FOOLS!"

Master Hand floated out of the hotel's window, flying off in the opposite direction from where the Mansion was.

"Well, we-a heard him," said Mario, picking up a few things and putting them into a bag.

"What?" asked several people, confused.

"He's right..." said Fox hollowly. "We have to get to the new Mansion!"

"But we don't know where it is!" cried Pikachu. "It could take months!"

"It won't take months," replied Fox simply. "We're all capable people, and all this does is separate those with the ability to fend for themselves from those who can't."

Link rose from his chair too. "I'm coming too."

Mario, Fox, and Link looked around the room. "Anyone else-a coming?" Mario asked.

"Oh...well...alright, I'll see what you mean..." decided a resigned Pikachu. "I'll come."

"Good," smiled Link. "We'll see the rest of you if you care."

Mario, Fox, Link, and Pikachu left the hotel, leaving confused and shocked Smashers behind.

"They'll wind up dead tomorrow," put in Ness.

"I agree!" smiled Mario, except he was fatter and not Mario.

"Who are you?" asked Peach suspiciously.

"Yeah, I think it's a fake!" said Link, except he was a midget.

The majority of the Smashers sitting at the table looked around at "Mario" and "Link".

"...'Kay." said Luigi.


The party of four were traversing the streets, when they passed a TV store, where one of the TVs was playing a news broadcast.

"Our top story today," reported the newscaster. "Four of the self-named Smashers have abandoned their hotel, and are attempting to make their own way to the 3rd Smash Mansion! We have reason to believe that these suspects are veterans of the Mansion since the first house. It is unknown where they are, but their public salutes their bravery."

"I don't see what the big deal is," commented Link. "All we're doing's going to some house we can't find."

"It's-a brilliant," Mario smiled. "They want to-a make us seem important-a!"

"Well, we had better go then," decided Pikachu. "We should get there before it's claimed by some damn newcomers."

"Yep, on the road now," agreed Fox. The four Smashers walked on, casting appreciative smiles back at the newscaster on TV, who was now talking about motorcycles and airships.

"So, what happens once we don't find the place?" asked Pikachu. Mario and Link stopped dead in their tracks.

"What did you just say?" asked Link hollowly.

"I'm just saying." said Pikachu. "I don't see us getting there anytime soo-"

Pikachu was cut off, as Link had taken out his Master Sword, and performed a Mortal Draw, the blade against Pikachu's small, furry chest.

"We ARE going to get there." said Link gruffly. "It may take a while, but we WILL arrive at the third mansion, triumphantly."

"You're insane." panted Pikachu, sweating. "I'm getting out of this." And with that, Pikachu turned around, heading back.

"Where-a, are you-a going?" asked Mario.

"Back to the hotel." said Pikachu shortly. "To let the others know that their precious Hero of Time's lost it."

"You know, he could be right." replied Fox. "Maybe we're not going to make it."

"You're kidding." said Link shortly. "We've only just embarked on our search and you're giving up? You call yourself Smashers?"

Pikachu turned on the spot, his cheeks glowing with electricity. "Did you just insult me?"

Link fired a warning arrow, and drew his bowstring for another one.

"Don't do anything-a you'll regret!" panicked Mario, looking from Pikachu to Link worriedly.

"You can't just fire arrows at someone like that!" blurted out an outraged Fox. He then aimed a kick at Link, who jumped back, and took out his shield. Fox's ankle made contact with the shield, and broke with a sickening crunch.

"Fox, come on." said Pikachu. "I'm taking you back."

Mario shot a fireball at Pikachu and Fox, missing them, but gaining their attention. "Now wait-a one moment-a!"

"We're going, Mario." gasped Fox through his pain. "I'm sorry, but I can't follow you like this."

"Who's that on the bike?" asked Link, pointing at the driving figure approaching.

"Crap-a...Wario..." moaned Mario.

Pikachu ran off, supporting Fox as best he could, as Wario grinned.

"We should-a hide in this house-a!" said Mario, hopping into a house none of them had previously noticed.

"Hello!" said a female realtor enthusiastically. "May I have both of your names?"

Mario looked at Link, uncertainly, then said; "Mario Antonio P. Von Mario-a."

"Link. Just Link." said Link.

"Any fears, Link?" asked the realtor.

"The Great Fairy..." admitted an embarrassed Link. "And Gossip Stones."

"You, Mario?"

"Um-a, not really...but I'm embarrassed of-a my bad sense of direction-a...does it count?" asked Mario.

"No, it does not." said the realtor, writing down things on the house's clipboard.

On the outside, Wario continued to snarl at nothing in particular.

"Well done!" smiled the realtor. "You are the first and second Smashers to return for Super Smash Bros. Brawl!"

"What-a?" asked Mario, confused.


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