I just couldn't miss a chance to write a birthday fic for Oshitari since he's one of my favorite characters from Prince of Tennis (top 3 actually). But enough of that. I've finally finished it! This will be a series of Hyotei insanity fics.

It was 6:30 in the morning. Oshitari was sitting in the Hyotei clubhouse reading a romance novel. Then Atobe came by and stared at him like he was crazy.

"Is there a problem Keigo?"

"Yes, in fact, there's three problems. One, the courts are trashed. Two, you're here early, which is never a good thing. And three, you're calling me by first name. Last I checked, it was Atobe buchou to you."

"The courts are trashed? Wow, probably vandalism by some gang." Oshitari's reply sounded way too sarcastic. "...And the fact that I'm here early shouldn't be a problem at all." a sadistic smile started to form on Oshitari's lips. "While I'm at it, I should correct my earlier mistake shouldn't I, Oresama?"

"God damn it, just shut up."


Atobe left the room. A minute later, Gakuto came running in.

"Yuushi! I nearly got in trouble for that! What's your big plan anyway?"

"Simple. You trash the courts to make him walk over there, then you set off the smoke bomb you got at the prank store to cause a distraction."


"We steal his diary."

"Sweet! But how will you find his diary?"

"He always keeps it with him. In his tennis bag."

"Let's go get it then!"

"No need."

Just then, Jirou came into the clubhouse.

"Oi, Oshitari! I got it! Now you gotta keep your part of the deal!" said an excited Jirou holding up a purple notebook with a lock on it.

"I'm confused." said Gakuto.

"I told Jirou that if he got the diary, I'd let him read it first."

"Oh no, it's locked!" said Gakuto and Jirou simultaneously.

"No big deal, I expected it to be." said Oshitari holding up a small hairpin and picking open the lock with ease. "Now, let's see what he wrote..."

"Oh god! Can you believe what he wrote?!" said Gakuto during lunchtime.

"You're just pissed off because he called you and Shishido retarded morons." said Oshitari.

"No, I mean, that."

"Oh... that. By the time we get to afternoon tennis practice, at least all the regulars will know."

That afternoon at practice, Gakuto came to practice with a megaphone (stolen from coach Sakaki's office) and Oshitari was holding Atobe's diary.

When all the regulars arrived, Gakuto started yelling into the megaphone: "Hey everyone! Wanna know some of Atobe's secrets? We'll announce two for free! Then you gotta pay us if you want to hear more!"

"Go ahead Gakuto." said Oshitari.

Gakuto flipped to a random page and started reading the entry out loud using a poorly imitated Atobe voice, "I am extremely annoyed at the fact that I am still unable to defeat neither Sanada nor Tezuka at full strength. The fact that I lost to Echizen twice just makes it worse. And..."

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!?!?!?!??!" yelled Atobe who had just decided to show up.

"We're listening to a very entertaining story Gakuto and Oshitari are telling." said Shishido.

"And you're not going to interupt." said Hiyoshi as he bound and gagged Atobe from behind.

Gakuto read a few more stories after that. Now it was Oshitari's turn.

Oshitari flipped to a page he had previously bookmarked with post-it and started reading: "I, oresama hve to admit that I am still madly in love with two of my greatest rivals, Kunim-"

"SHUT THE HELL UP NOW OSHITARI!" yelled Atobe, who had somehow escaped from Hiyoshi's hold.

"-su Tezuk-"


"and Geni-"


"-rou Sana-"


Oshitari stopped, but it was already too late. The regulars had heard way too much already.


Oshitari just had to add in a comment, "I could run a thousand laps but who says you're getting your diary (or your reputation for that matter) back?"

"Guys, I think Atobe just fainted." said Chotarou.

This was only my second fic so it's probably not too good but please review anyway just to let me know you read it. I'll update when I get another chance!