A/N: This story used to be a part of Snarktastic, which was a series of one-shots. I am posting this on its own for two reasons. One, while it was originally intended to be a drabble, it ballooned into something so large it can stand on its own; and two, posting it separately will make it easier for someone on the look out for certain characters or genres to find it. Snarktastic was originally written during the lull between seasons two and three; therefore all the stories are set somewhere in there.

Word Count: 420

Prompt: Another blamed on ilovedanieljackson and that bloody (haha! Ahem) 'A Dog's Breakfast' trailer.


It was an incredibly vain thing to do. On some level, Rodney knew that it was but he still couldn't stop himself from doing it.

Elizabeth had come back from her week long vacation on Earth looking like she was lit from within. She said she'd spent a much deserved week just soaking up the sun whenever she could.

John had come back from his vacation looking incredibly healthy as well. He went surfing one day (one day!) and came back looking like he'd spent the summer in California.

Even Carson, who went all the way back to Glasgow to visit him Mum, came back to Atlantis looking sun kissed.

With each rotation of crew members that went on vacation and then came back, there were more and more people who'd spent that time on beaches, who positively glowed.

Pretty soon, only a few members of the science staff were left who looked pasty in comparison.

Rodney would never, ever admit it, but he was jealous.

Occasionally he'd wonder if he might look better with a tan...after all, everyone else seemed to.

The only problem with that was Rodney just didn't tan.

Oh, he'd burn, but not tan and there was a big difference between the two.

So when Rodney finally got his week off and got to go back home he knew that everyone back on Atlantis would be expecting him to return with that same glorious, dusky glow.

But since he couldn't stay out in the sun, he decided to do the next best thing.


It was the latest thing and it promised a perfect tan or else you'd get double your money back.

Well, honestly...how could Rodney pass on something like that?

So he spent the entire week at home on Earth cooped up in lab after lab, and on the final night of his stay, he applied the Nu!Tan. He followed the directions to the letter and then went off to bed.

The next morning he awoke to the sound of someone banging on his front door. Wearily, he climbed out of bed and puttered through the living room, intent on giving whoever had decided to awaken him at this ungodly hour the yelling at of their life.

He flung wide the door to find Colonel Sheppard standing there waiting.

"What do you want," he barked, "I've still got six hours before the Daedelus-...what?"

"Rodney?" Sheppard asked, looking muddled, "What happened?"

McKay narrowed his eyes at the Colonel, "What are you talking about?"

"Rodney...you're orange."