Title: A Different Kind of Food Fight
Author: Antharyn
Pairing: Hisagi Shuuhei+Kira Izuru, Madarame Ikkaku+Kira Izuru, Kenpachi XD
Rating: G 'cause I are boring.
Notes/Warnings: I suck at funny. Conniving Shinigami. Thug love! 333333

Summary: Everyone wants a piece of Kira's...cooking.

He felt the pressure of the man's unchecked reiatsu long before he had stepped into the 4th Division Headquarters and heard the startled yells of people outside before the door burst open and then closed again with a loud bang.

Trust the 11th Division 3rd seat to make such a grand entrance when he came to gloat.

"Got your ass handed to ya, didn't ya?" Ikkaku said in greeting, leering at his friend sitting on the bed propped up against the pillows. "Admit it. You lost."

"It's called a technical knockout."

"Bullshit. You lost. Say it."

Hisagi felt a migraine coming on. 'It was hardly a fair fight, asshole."

"Che. I still woulda beaten ya even if ya hadn't twisted your ankle and broken your ribs when ya fought Iba and Renji!" He grabbed the chair next to Hisagi's bed and sat down. "So you lost. Now say it!"

The 9th Division Vice-Captain glared.

Ikkau smirked. "All right, fine. Don't say it. But to give ya credit," The bald Shinigami continued. "Ya lasted long enough considering I wasn't holding back on ya."

Hisagi rolled his eyes. "Figures you'd go all out even for what was supposed to be a friendly match."

Ikkaku grinned. "It's what I do. Plus, I had to win. I mean, Kira's a great cook."

At that, the dark-haired Shinigami's eyes widened. "You defeated Zaraki-taichou?" He admitted he would have gone against the 11th Division Captain himself considering what was at stake but he didn't actually think anyone would live to tell the tale.

"Beat Taichou? Hell no!" Ikkaku scoffed. "Told him I'd split the winnings if he decided not to fight."

"And he agreed?"

Ikkaku grinned again. "Like I said, Kira's a great cook. Plus I woulda fought him damn hard to win and it woulda taken some time before it was over, ya know?"

"…so you and Zaraki-taichou were both with Kira last night?"

"Yep." Ikkaku stretched back against the chair with a stupid wistful look on his face. "Went home pretty late, too."


"Jealous?" The 3rd seat leered and to his surprise Hisagi grinned.

"Not at all."

Ikkaku was just about to ask what kind of medication the idiots in the 4th squad had him on when there was a soft knock on the door and he turned around to see Kira come in, balancing a tray full of food in his hands.

"Oi, Kira." Ikkaku greeted, standing up so quickly it was as though the chair burned his rear.

"Ikkaku-san." The blond greeted cheerfully, setting the tray down on the bedside table.

"You blushin', Ikkaku?" Hisagi laughed when the bald one's ears went red.

"Shut up, asshole." The 3rd seat grit out then turned to Kira. "What're you doing here? You on your lunch break?"

Kira shook his head. "It's my day off so I came to see Hisagi-san." The blond answered, not looking up from where he busied himself getting lunch ready.

"He's been here all day." Hisagi said and smirked when Ikkaku's eye twitched.

Smug bastard.

Kira failed to notice the exchange and excused himself, saying he left the chopsticks in the kitchen. The two of them watched the blond go and Ikkaku would have launched himself at the 9th Division Vice-Captain the second the door clicked shut if it weren't a crime to strangle an officer or any fellow Shinigami, really, to death.

"So he cooks for ya now?" Ikkaku asked, glaring daggers at the other man who only grinned.

"He feeds me, too." Hisagi said matter-of-factly, raising a bandaged hand. "Hand's broken, see. Thanks to you."

Ikkaku stared at him. He couldn't remember breaking the other man's hand yesterday. And damn if those bandages looked a little too sloppy to be the work of a 4th Division squad member.

"Why you little—" Ikkaku was about to strangle his friend for real this time when Kira breezed back into the room with the chopsticks.

"Would you like to join us for lunch, Ikkaku-san?" Kira asked. "I'm sure there's enough for the three of us." The blond sat himself on beside Hisagi on the bed, already mixing rice and vegetables in the bowl he held.

Hisagi raised a brow at him and he took the hint.

He lost this round. Bad.

"Nah. I gotta get back to Headquarters." He said because damn if he was gonna stick around to watch Kira feed Hisagi for the next half hour.

He said goodbye to Kira and shot Hisagi one last murderous look before he turned and left.

The sound of his two friends talking quietly and the smell of Kira's cooking followed him out and he rounded the corner hurriedly only to find Iba and Renji, bandaged and in bed but with food that smelled so good it had to be Kira's doing.

"Well, shit."

He whacked them upside their heads and stormed off.

The next time they decided to fight for a free meal from Kira or anything that had something to do with Kira, really, he was going to kill them all.