Oh My Gigai!

By Uchiha Xairylle

Chapter One : After Spike

Thud! Thump! Thud! Thump!

Ichigo could feel something hitting his body and his body being hit against something but somehow, he could not discern if it was painful, annoying or both. What he was sure of is that he seemed to have some hearing sonar power or something. That or his reiatsu sensors have gone mad. He could hear his damn heart beating… And there was some chirpy voice, which he was trying to make out something and anything out of.

"Ichigo, get your ass up right now!"

Ah, okay, that was Rukia.

Everything's fine.

He opened his eyes only slightly but the pillow that was in his vision seemed to sway. Although his shirt was off, he seemed to feel really grimy and sweaty. Screw that. Someone must have spiked the punch back at Keigo's place last night. He probably had too much. Probably? Heck, he had too much. Ichigo now permanently hated hangovers as much as he hated Hollows.

Stupid hangover.

Stupid Hollows.

Stupid spiked punch.

He would find out the one responsible for the punch after he sobers up. And that should, must and will be soon, as Rukia was having the time of her life kicking or doing something else to him. But right now, the world could crumble but he'd just like to have some rest. He can save the world later when he's sober.

"There's a Hollow, Ichigo and innocent souls are going to get eaten!" Rukia was shaking him vigorously.

"Save them alone just this once, Rukia." Ichigo replied groggily, "I just can't get up."

"You damn boy!" Rukia scowled and took out her mod soul dispenser only to find out she had run out of it. My, she'd have to get some from Urahara again but right now, Ichigo's Shinigami Representative badge would do.

The phasing of Rukia's soul out of its gigai sounded like it came from speakers. Ichigo groaned as Rukia leapt out of the window. A few more moments later, Ichigo felt uncomfortable and decided to lie on his other side. As he shifted, he felt something itchy against his face. He brushed it away but it came back. Screw that, he could just sleep it off…

Especially with that wonderful scent that seemed to rock him gently.

What was that?

Just to make sure Rukia did not leave a Chappy The Bunny anything anywhere near him, Ichigo opened his eyes and found himself face-to-face with Rukia's sleeping gigai. It was lying on its side and stray wisps of her – its – hair were on his face.

Ichigo muttered something out of the side of his mouth but even he could not comprehend it was he had said. Just as he was about to close his eyes for some good rest, the gigai began to fall off the bed. As its features drew farther from his gaze, Ichigo's arm moved and lazily draped around the gigai's waist and drew her – it – closer towards him somehow clumsily and found himself lip-to-lip with the gigai.

He never knew Rukia's gigai's lips were this soft.

"Rukia, you idiot." Ichigo pulled away as he muttered to the gigai and removed the strands of hair off his face. And gently, his hand stroke her – its – hair for the heck. His head swayed and suddenly wanted a pillow but was too lazy to get one from the other side. The gigai was nowhere close to being a pillow but it will have to do.

And with that thought, it was Ichigo's leg's turn to drape over the gigai.

"You're not using my shampoo, are you?" Ichigo muttered randomly to the gigai, "Maybe I should use yours."

He was waiting for a response or any violent reaction from the small bunny-loving girl he seemed to be hugging but received none. Ichigo grunted and then sighed and decided on resigning from his thoughts about Rukia and shampoo and to just getting some shut eye.

He breathed in to relax, taking in more of the gigai's scent.

Wow. His pillow didn't smell this nice. Perhaps he could get one for personal use from Urahara? Steal one?

Ichigo's gaze swayed towards the gigai's small face who, from his point of view, seemed to be breathing softly. And Ichigo blamed the punch for being spiked because now he was finding the gigai to be beautiful.

Stupid. Finding an object beautiful.

Well, that be damned. If finding an object to be beautiful was stupid then being attracted to it was way beyond that line. Ichigo found his face drawing closer to that of the resemblance of Rukia's face and in no time was kissing the gigai. Stupid as it seemed, the Shinigami representative seemed to enjoy it and he remained so for moments, his lips moving as if waiting for any response.

Of course, Rukia, ah, er, the gigai, did not kiss him back much to his disappointment. No, wait, if it were Rukia he would not kiss her in the first place. It just happened that the gigai looked like Rukia. And they were in the same place at that time. And, ah, er… Yeah. That was the explanation. He was just drunk and not attracted in any way to Rukia. Yeah, that was it. But anyway, he felt her – its – skin like satin as his thumb traced circles around it.

"Rukia…" he managed to say out of the corner of his mouth.

Ichigo laughed and remained still to get some well-deserved rest. Honestly, was this the way Yuuzu felt while hugging Bostafu, er, Kon? Rukia's gigai was way larger than Bostafu, um, Kon. And Ichigo found a silly smile plastered across his face.

Using the name "Rukia" and "large" in the same sentence seemed… weird.

By and by, he felt his eyes getting heavier and he gave out a sigh, enjoying the relaxed position he was in.

If Byakuya found him right now, he'd be so dead.

And then a strong reiatsu shook Ichigo's senses – so strong enough to sober him up.

Speak of the devil!

Ichigo sat up and looked at his window where the dreaded reiatsu was coming from and true enough, the head of the Kuchiki clan was there and looking at him with cold, thunderstruck eyes.

Byakuya's mind automatically generated a thousand ways to torture Ichigo that he did not know which to bestow on him first. This… this littleprick had his… his… limbs around his sister! Was he of nobility? Last time he checked, well, no. So is this what he'd done to Rukia before? No, wait, is this what he has been doing to Rukia all this time that she was staying with him! There was only one bed in the room. Rukia did mention staying at Ichigo's place. What the hell was her gigai doing here in Kurosaki Ichigo's room!

Ichigo could've said, "I can explain!" if it were not Byakuya who had drawn out Senbonzakura.

Losing no time, Ichigo grabbed his Shinigami representative badge (which was thankfully nearby) and used it even before the word of impending doom "Bankai" could escape Byakuya's lips. Ichigo instinctively shunpo-ed away, surprisingly through the window and past Byakuya.

Ichigo's body fell on the bed, arm and leg still around Rukia's gigai.

Shunpo once. Shunpo twice. For the love of his intact body and limbs, shunpo for his life!

Ichigo sped off did not even look an inch back to see if it were his imagination or there were actually a thousand angry petals after him. Chances are, he was too sober for his imagination to work. Who thought pink could be this scary? Well, if it were brandished by Kuchiki Byakuya then, hell, that's one hell of a nightmare.

Sure, he had put those petals to shame back in Sereitei while he was in Bankai but that time, he was certain Byakuya was at fault so his resolve was more than solid. (I will save Rukia!) But this time, he was guilty and Byakuya had more than a thousand petals, angry thoughts, homicidal intentions and who-knows-what-else after him. (Somebody save me!)

"Kurosaki!" A voice that just might be salvation.
"Ishida!" Ichigo sped towards the Quincy and dragged him into an alley.
"What the hell is wrong with you!" Ishida gave an annoyed look through the glare of his glasses.
"A thousand angry pink petals are after me!"

A thousand angry pink petals? So that was Kuchiki Byakuya's reiatsu he had been feeling after all. Ishida blinked and wanted to slap Ichigo but then resorted to just fix his glasses from his nose bridge.

"Oh? And what did you do to Byakuya this time?" Ishida replied, "And with your uncontrolled spew of reiatsu, oh, sure, you can hide in this alley. Should I put a sign saying you're not here?"

"Nothing! It's just that I… Rukia… I mean Rukia's gigai… I mean…"

"Okay, so what did you do to Rukia?" the Quincy smirked. It was only a short time before Byakuya reached Ichigo and him. And if he were up to him, he was in no way interested in getting involved with "a thousand angry petals" known as Senbonzakura.

"Rukia's gigai…"

"What about my gigai?"

That could be salvation or catastrophe.

"Rukia!" Ichigo's eyes were wide as he grabbed Rukia by the shoulders, "He thinks I harassed you, I mean, your gigai, I mean… He thought I did to you what I was doing to the gigai and…"

"Who are you talking about and what have you done to my gigai?" the small Shinigami replied, "And did you feel niisama's reiatsu just a few moments ago…?"


The voice was deep and cold and angry and with it, pink surrounded the three other people in the area.

Oh, dear lord!


Okay. Ichigo was contemplating now. If things get worse, he will go Bankai and he could bother with the results later.

"Come here, Rukia."

It was not a request. It was a direct order. Ishida, Ichigo and Rukia gulped but the younger Kuchiki did not immediately comply, "W-what is the meaning of this, Niisama?"

"We can ask the boy later about him being horny but right now, step away from him." Byakuya was referring to Ichigo as his stare fixated on his petite younger sister. The first thing Ichigo and Ishida did was to check if there was any hint on Ichigo's crotch, found none and ended up with Ichigo slapping Ishida. A baffled Rukia walked towards her brother, throwing quizzical stares at Ichigo as she went.

"I have nothing to do with this." Ishida spoke up.
"You were trying to hide him." Byakuya said in a tone that sounded more of a declaration than an accusation.
"I was not!"

Thenerve this 28th Kuchiki Clan Leader had in blurting a command towards him, a Quincy! He could've drawn out his bow and shoot at the accursed Captain but then, the pink around him was scary.

"Hold it, Byakuya, I can explain!" Ichigo spoke up, "It was an accident."

"That you were kissing Rukia?"

Rukia gasped.

"That was her gigai!" Ichigo turned red.
"And your point is?"
"I was drunk!"
"Not an excuse for tarnishing my sister's purity." Byakuya's tone was changing but Ichigo could feel that icy stare stabbing him like Hyouinmaru would.

Rukia gasped in unison with Ishida.

"Tarnished your si—It's not like I was copulating with a god-forsaken gigai let alone your midget of a sister'!"
"Ichigo!" Rukia glared, wanting to kick Ichigo in the face.
"Bastard." The stare from the Shinigami Captain was sharply increasing and Ichigo could feel the hairs on his skin stand up.
"You were groping Rukia's gigai?" Ishida asked mindlessly and unbelievingly at Ichigo, "A gigai, Kurosaki? A lifeless gigai!?"
"I was just using it as a pillow!"

That was as good as a confession for Byakuya.

"Shut up, kozo." The older Kuchiki said. The petal blades rose to strike.
"Niisama, don't!"

For a moment there, Rukia sounded like Hisana and Byakuya's already stiff shoulders seemingly twitched.

"Aren't there any… like… rules about this?"

It would either fix or complicate things but right now, it saved Ichigo's ass even for several moments. Byakuya paused, seemingly contemplating as his gaze shifted from Ichigo to Rukia then to Ichigo then back at Rukia.

The Quincy was becoming annoyed. How did he become involved in the first place?

"Actually, there is." Byakuya said again, "And it involves me staying with you and the orange-haired brat."

To Ichigo, it sounded like, "The Soukyoku will be thrust into your guts." It was like he was being asked to swallow Senbonzakura in entirety petal by petal.

The spiked punch after effect known as hangover came back. That or something was horribly wrong with Ichigo. His sight was darkening and his knees were wobbling and all of a sudden, he felt his self falling as the sounds around him seemed to have died down. And as Shinigami Representative Kurosaki Ichigo lost consciousness, he heard Rukia say, "But Niisama, there is only one closet in Ichigo's room!"

Please let me die now.

- End of Chapter 1 -

Author: I swear this is IchiRuki and not IchiRukiByakuya. Well, Byakuya is adorable. This fic is probably what happens when I have to much adorable, smexy and hawt Byakuya from Bleach and Bleach Rock Musicals.