Disclaimer: Stargate Atlantis and all associated characters etc are the property of MGM and all the rest, and are used here purely for the purposes of enjoyment and promoting the show we love.

Summary: When on a scientific mission, Rodney and Carson rescue and adopt a young…being. Told from that individual's POV. Crack!fic.

Author's Note: This is just a bit of crack!fic. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I am enjoying writing it! It is technically still a WIP, but the story is now basically finished, with only the epilogue left to write, though the later chapters still need some editing. I plan to post every couple of days. The chapter length – indeed, the story length – is very short for me; I tend to run more toward several pages. But then, this whole story's a bit of a departure for me, so we'll see how it turns out. Please let me know what you think!!!

There's a bit of information purposefully left out of the story for you to guess/wonder at, but if you believe you know the answer (I'm sure many of you will guess it almost right away), I would ask you not to spoil it for others by declaring it in your reviews. If you want confirmation, you can either wait to the end, or send me an email through my author profile.

By the way, I do take some artistic liberty with the sciences here and possibly with canon (for example, I'm not sure exactly when in relation to S3 the midway station was complete/in general use). But it could loosely take place almost anywhere between the initial creation of the intergalactic bridge and 3.17 Sunday.

They call me Suzuki

by Deichtine

I would tell you my name, but you would be unable to pronounce it. And so, I will give you the name the one called McKay gave to me: Suzuki. It is not my true name, but it will do.

I am not a native of this world, nor do I like it much. I am lonely here with no others of my kind. There are few parts of the city kept cool enough for my comfort, and most of those are forbidden to me. However, I am certain it could be worse. All alone, my parents having been killed - I think - while finding food for me, I would most likely be dead by now, had I not been brought to this place. Here, though it is not home, at least I am safe.

The fish is good, too.

But I am getting ahead of myself.

I was but a youngling when I first met McKay. Sitting there, huddled in the snow as I was, at first he didn't see me. He was a thick, tall figure in bright red that reached down almost to his knees, but he had pushed the hood back, allowing me to see his face as he studied the little tool he held, pausing now and again to turn in a circle, his eyes on the device, and correct his course. I had never seen a creature like him before.

Hungry and near death, I called out to him. Even if he were an enemy, hopefully he could offer me at least a quicker death than exposure on the ice.

I think I scared him, for upon hearing my voice he let out a loud exclamation, pressed a hand to his chest, and straightened so quickly he could almost be said to have jumped. Then he saw me, and his expression...softened. He stuffed his device into a pocket (I later learned to call his red garment a parka, though it shocked me when he first took it off to learn it was not a part of him). Slowly, he bent over and approached me. I was terrified, but too cold and too weak to move. I was at his mercy.

"Oh look, a disgustingly cute baby animal," he said gently, awkwardly holding out a hand to me.

"Help me, please," I said, though of course he could no more understand my tongue than I his (I have learned enough now to recall his words for you). He heard my voice, however, and moved a little closer.

"What are you doing out here all alone? Shouldn't your father be looking after you?" He snorted suddenly, and the sound frightened me a little more. "Isn't that just typical, this day and age, not even animals take parental responsibility seriously anymore. And what am I going to do with you? I suppose you'll want me to take you with me? It's not like I'm really set up to care for you, you know." He spoke rapidly, his voice sharp in the crisp air, full of indignation yet devoid of rancour. As he spoke, he bent down and gently placed his mittened hands around my torso and lifted me high off the ground, holding me straight out in front of him to look at me.

Startled and frightened by his sudden movement, and the unaccustomed feeling of being held and off the ground, I fluttered weakly in his soft but secure grasp, crying out inarticulately. He ignored this, however, and studied me at arms' length.

"How did you wind up out here all alone?" he asked softly. Finally, just as I felt I could handle the exposure to the cold wind no more, he seemed to come to a decision. He opened his red parka a short ways and tucked me in close to his chest, and the sudden warmth was heavenly. I snuggled in and he closed the garment up again, until I could only just see out - though there was little to see in this land of ice and snow. I could feel the vibrations in his chest and throat as he muttered to himself a bit. Finally he sighed and spoke more loudly, into the air, saying that he had completed his survey, that there were no energy readings here; this was a spectacular waste of his time, and that he was returning to the base. He must have had a radio, I suppose.